To Babysit Charlie
by Paranoid Sarcasm
Summary: Have you ever had to babysit for a family friend? And might I add for free? Welcome to my magical world. CWOC. I've been told the story is better then the Summary
1. Family, Friends, and Family Friends

**_Disclaimer- If I said I owned anything I would being lying, and then later sued._**

**Quote of the Day:**

_Your only young once, but you can always be imature._

**AN: Hey look your reading! Oh yeah, the name _Yeshia_ is said _Yeah-sha.  
_Tell me what you think and if I should keep going. But it doesn't really matter, I'll keep going anyway. Though reviews are nice...**

**---To Babysit Charlie---**

**Family, Friends, and Family Friends**

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Have you ever had to baby-sit for a family friend? And might I add for free?  
Welcome to my magical world.

If the family were anyone but the Weasleys I would have said no. I don't mind not getting paid when I baby-sit for Arthur and Molly. If you ever get the chance to meet them you will know. They are the most kind people you will ever meet and they all have fire copper hair. It makes me feeling a bit bored with my own tawny locks.

Anyway, I have to baby-sit for them and they have seven kids. How did Molly do it? I'll never know. See I'm sixteen and in my sixth year of Hogwarts. You have to understand, when your sixteen you're not thinking about your family friends you don't want to baby-sit. Except, of coarse, if it's Bill Weasley. He is a beyond handsome. Though there is a problem, he's my brother's best friend and they are both two years my senior. He would never take a second glance at me.

My mother had insisted that Bill and my brother do what they wish while I baby-sit the children. That would be, six children. Bill would have surely taken on the responsibility if my mother didn't go on and on about how much I loved them all. She didn't fail to mention I have had a crush on him forever, and it was obvious to anyone who looked.

Now, technically I don't have to baby-sit Charlie, seeing as we are the same age. But in all honesty, I trust him about as far as I can throw him. Charlie is the second oldest in the Weasley clan. He is absolutely insufferable, cocky beyond possible. Last year he was voted Gryffindor Quidditch captain for this upcoming year. I swear this was just to piss in my drink. See I'm a Gryffindor Beater, now I have to obey him on the Quidditch pitch. Like that is going to happen. Back to Charlie, you will see, he is incredibly annoying. He continually follows Bill and Tanner, my brother, around. He's like a lost puppy that wants to prove himself.

Then there is Percy, the ten year old who sat on a quill, which got stock up his arse. He runs about after me telling me off for not doing thing exactly like his mother, ie; cleaning pots and pans. This would, in turn, make me flip out. "Of coarse I can't clean how your mother does! SHE USES MAGIC!" You could call me a spaz, but you don't understand the utter mayhem in this house. You now only know three of the seven children.

Lets move on to the little hellions, the twins. Fred and George Weasley, they are adorable, IF you don't know them. Hellions are an understatement. You have to stay on their good side, or fall victim to one of their many pranks. I, for one, am not up to spending all eternity wishing for death, so I DO stay on their good side. For seven years old, they can run the house a muck. I always bring presents or tips for making jokes and pranks, which would be a bribe for not taken me as a victim

Ron; sweet, lovable, five year old Ron. He's a cutie. All he does is stick to my leg, never letting go, the fear of becoming Fred and George's new play toy was to great. Though he has his stubbornly independent streaks, where he likes to join the fun only in the result of becoming a victim to someone in the family.

Lastly the seventh child, Ginny, she is the only girl besides Molly in the Weasley household. She was also sweet, but has a wicked temper, plus the constantly grabbing hair was annoying. She may be four, but she has an iron grip. Toddler my arse, she has to hiding a weight lifter somewhere on her.

"Yeshia!" Bellowed the eighteen year old prick that is Tanner, my brother.

"What!" I snap

Tanner bounds into my room, "Ew, Yesh, This place is a sty."

This was an understatement if I ever heard one. My room consisted of a bed, a dresser, length mirror (like it was any good, I never use the damn thing) and a layer of dirty clothes many that could be found in the most random places, ie the bra hanging off the length mirror.

"I'm _so_ sorry Tanner Lord of cleanliness." I snorted throwing back my head. Tanner was as messy as me, and he knew it.

It was sad. Tanner and I had the same tawny coloured hair, same boring hazel eyes, and same facial features, medium lips with a smaller nose, oh, lucky me. We both look nothing like our mother. She has dark wispy brown hair with blue, almost purple eyes. It was safe to assume we got our looks from our father. Not that we would ever know if we had his personality, he died a month after I was born. When we were younger Tanner assure me I hadn't missed anything, father loved working he always came home late.

"I would leave if I were you. You're going to make Arthur and Molly late for their reservations." He said, casually leaning against the doorframe.

I looked at my watch. "Tanner, you dolt, I have ten minutes until Molly said I should be there."

He was up to something either that or he knew something. Tanner shook his head, with a smirk implanted on it.

"What?" I snapped for the second time.

"Yeshia, Yesh, Yeshia." He shook his head again.

I scowl at him. He was defiantly up to something.

"You should get going." He cooed.

"And you should get a job. You know, instead of bumming off of mum." A snarl escapes my mouth.

"I was going to tell you something, but now I think you can find out for yourself." He raised his head snootily.

Rolling my eyes, "Again Tanner, I'm _SO_ sorry. Tell me."

"I was going to tell you, you can't use floo." He smirked.

"WHAT!" I screeched running my fingers threw my hair.

"I think you heard me."

It took me two seconds to get to the Burrow, the Weasley's abode, by floo but walking it took up to thirty minutes. I would have to run. I cursed myself for not being old enough to apparate.

I grabbed my gift for the twins before I threw myself out the front door of my house. Running across the fields that separate the Weasleys' home from ours my brother appeared with a small _crack_ about ten feet in front of me.

"Yeshia, hurry up." He called after I passed him, "I'll meet you there."

"DOLT!" I screamed before I hear a _crack_ behind me telling me he was gone. I ripped over a fence and dashed across the next field. Finally only the one hundred meter stretch to go. I sprinted, the whole experience couldn't have taken much more than fifteen minutes.

I knocked on the door. Molly answered it with a smile. "Hello dear." She was wearing a floral pattern robe, her copper hair tied in a loose bun.

"S-sorry for being late M-molly." I panted. "I hope y-your not late f-for your reser-vations." I took a deep breath. FINALLY AIR! I was back to normal.

Molly ushered me inside. "What ever are you talking about dear? Reservations? Arthur and I don't have any reservations, we're just going to a quiet dinner."

"What? I ran here. I thought you had reservations." I looked at Molly, she smiled warmly and brushed some imaginary dirt off my shoulder.

"You ran? Why on earth didn't you just floo?" She sighed and was now fixing my hair.

"Tanner. I'll kill him." I hissed. I stood in the middle of the kitchen I could faintly hear laughter trying to be stifled from up the stairs.

"Tanner!" I yelled. Molly had been used to such behaviour just let me jump to the bottom of the stairs "Tanner, show yourself! You prat!"

The laughter burst out and Bill, Tanner and Charlie rushed down the stairs doubled over with laughter.

I growled and took Tanner by the ear. "Why, in the name of Merlin, did you tell me the floo was down?"

"Ow! Yesh, let go!" He yelped when I pulled his ear so far it could have come off the side of his head.

"This is NOT funny!" I bellowed tightening my grip on his ear.

"Your right. That was hilarious!" Charlie harped while he and Bill leaned against each other supporting their weight. Both their red mops swaying slightly.

I glared at Charlie. Oh if only looks could kill. I pulled on Tanner's ear.

"Who thought of this Tanny?" I asked in a deathly sweet voice.

"Wasn't me!" he whimpered

"Who then?" I snarled. I smirked as my brother that was two years older then myself, pointed a finger at Charlie like a two year old snitch. I let go of Tanner's ear as he raised I punched him in the arm.

"Ow!" Was Tanner's response. God, I'm I ever related to intelligent people.

"Charlie." I nearly whispered. I was like a jungle cat closing in on its prey. I walked painfully slow toward him, "What, pray tell, were you thinking you would gain from this."

"Erm. I good laugh." He stammered looking nonchalant. He sidestepped away from Bill.

Wrong answer.

I was about to start the usual battle of wits and sharp tongues when Molly bustled over.

"Yeshia dear. Don't be to hard on them, boys will be boys."

Molly? What happened to the Molly who would blow off the rooftops when the boys pulled something on me? She must really want a peaceful night.

I only growled in response. The glee on Charlie's face was enough to make me sick. I gave him a look that clarified that this was not over.

He gave a short bow and the boys took off upstairs. I let out a huff of air.

"Sorry dear. It's just been so long since Arthur and I have been out, for something that is meant for grown ups. You understand don't you?" Her sincerity was touching, who couldn't let the fact she hadn't stock up for me slide?

"It's fine, you and Arthur have fun!" I smiled pleasantly. Just the way I used to when I was four knowing full well it would melt Molly's heart. I have never been so right, she practical squeezed me to death, it was her gigantic bear hug.

This was Molly's secret; if she hugged you she liked you. Than again it wasn't hard to tell the people whom she disliked from the people she liked.

Arthur came into the room carrying a small red head girl. The little copper haired child let out a shriek of glee when she caught sight of me.

"YISHA!" This had been Ginny pet name from me for as long as I can remember. I beamed as Arthur put down the girl and she ran toward me. "Yisha! Yisha!"

"Hello Gin. What have you done today?" I picked her up and placed her on my hip.

"I drawed a piggy!" She struggled to get down and retrieve the masterpiece.

"You drew a picture of Tanner! Isn't that nice!" I clapped my hands together.

The child frowned and shook her head, handing the drawing over. "No. Piggy, piggy!"

I nodded and looked at the picture. "Yes. Tanner, Tanner." I laughed as Tanner waltz toward Ginny followed by the twins, Bill and Charlie.

"Me?" He question raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes. You." I replied handing over the picture, "Gin Gin has drawn a portrait of you."

"No! P-I-G!" The young girl sounded exasperated.

"Clever girl. When did you learn to spell?" I cooed as I stroked the head of the now proud looking child.

"I taught her." I small pompous voice called from the stairwell. It was Percy. His glasses were on, his chest ever so slightly puffed out.

"Well, good for both of you." I beamed looking at Percy then Ginny again, who had reclaimed her picture.

Charlie looked beside himself. "Perce. She only knows how to spell pig." He shook his head, "and she says it about fifty times a day."

I ignored Charlie's attempt to squash his brother's pride and turned my attention to a bashful red head peeking out behind his father's leg.

"Hello Ron." I called, the boy beamed, as if glad I didn't forget him. He rushed forward and stood by my side like an obedient dog.

"Well, that's everyone." Arthur said pleasantly stepping beside his wife.

"You know where to reach us if you get in a spot of trouble." Molly asked. You would wonder why she asked this every time. It made me feel as if I was two.

"Yes, use floo to get you at Wiggy's Step." I replied, though it was a force of habit.

"Right you are." Arthur smiled, "Goodbye everyone, I trust you will be good." And with that he and Molly were gone with two pops.

Oh, Arthur. You give your trust to willingly. I sighed. the night had begun.


	2. The Art that is Babysitting

_Disclaimer- Sure it's mine Lawyers appear Ok! Ok I take it back!_

_Quote of the Day:_

_Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm._

**AN: INFO! READ! The name _Yeshia_ is said _Yeah-sha._ Ok my fourth story, I just made it up out of the blue. I hope you like it, review if you think I should keep going. But I will keep going anyway. But reviews are nice!**

---To Babysit Charlie---  
The Art That is Babysitting.

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Ok, what do you do when the parents are about to come home and you have nothing to show for yourself, except all the kids out of bed causing mayhem and destruction?

"BED! EVERYONE! YOUR PARENTS ARE TO BE HOME IN FIFTEEN MINUTES!" I heard myself bellow. My hair, which was originally the colour of straw, was now orange. My brother, being the helpful person he is, had declared me a Weasley and said I needed the hair to match. He and Bill disappeared before I could do anything.

Back to the present, the house was a war zone. Chairs had fallen, dinners had been thrown, the table had been flipped and this was only in the kitchen.

"Ron! Ginny! BREAK IT UP! No George, you will NOT be able to fly. NO! GEORGE DON'T YOU DARE JUMP!"

Thud 

George had jumped from the top of the staircase onto his twin, who had his arms out ready to catch. The two lay in a heap on the floor, groaning.

"Serves you RIGHT! Ginny and Ron, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?" This is going to be how I die, babysitting the Weasleys.

"I'm going to bed, like everyone should be." Percy declared as he got up and put his book underneath his arm.

"Percy!" My voice was a desperate plea, "Please, take Ginny or Ron or both and put them into bed, while I get the twins!"

Percy carefully pried Ginny and Ron apart from their brawl. I was trying to get the twins untangled when I heard someone chuckling in the background.

My eye was twitching. It was Charlie laughing. He had done virtually nothing that would help when the twins had announced the food fight, he did nothing when the twins had suggested the furniture fight and perhaps most annoying thing of all, is how he commented on EVERY LITTLE THING I HAD DONE!

"Charlie I need help!" I exclaimed as the twins, now untangled, had gone to frolic in the disaster that was once known as the Burrow.

His eyes were dancing in amusement, as was the rest of him, "I can see that."

"Can you help? Or are you just going to sit there?" I was exasperated and bewildered that he just chose to sit there instead of doing something, anything.

"Nope. I'm just gonna sit." He said simply with a shrug. He laughed AGAIN when the twins threw a large substance of squish, for a lack of a better word, right at my face. And seeing as I'm a beater I'm not meant for quick movements, so naturally the squish hit me square in the pie hole.

"Urg!" Was all I managed to spit out for I fear that if I open my mouth again I will be sick. This squish, as it were, was the most foul smelling, chunky piece of goo I have ever encountered. That's saying a lot considering I used to baby-sit the twins when they were in tippers.

A gale of laughter was heard from the boys standing in front of me. Granted, I am very patient when it comes to kids, but get me mad and I'm a force to be reckoned with.

I pushed the foul smelling crud out of my eyes, I could feel the anger burning inside. I grabbed one of each of the twins wrists with one hand, while the other dug into Charlie's arm. I dragged the troublesome Weasleys upstairs. I practically threw the twins in their room.

"NOW, GO TO SLEEP!" I bellowed loud enough for China to hear. "You," I snarled tightening my hold on Charlie's arm, "You, are going to help me clean downstairs. Got it? Don't you dare try and rebuttal! You didn't join when they were doing the mess, but I'll be damned if I'm cleaning it myself."

There was two loud cracks from the kitchen as I pulled Charlie down the steps and came face to face with Tanner.

"Arg! Gross. Get away you smell like -" Tanner started while clamping his hand on his nose.

"Brilliant deduction, idiot!" I glared so furiously I felt I could burn a hole threw his empty head.

"I see you've meet the twins 'Bog Snog'?" Bill asked, as he tightened his copper ponytail at the nape of his neck.

"Their what?" I quipped.

"Bog Snog. You see, the twins are very, er, creative-" Bill explained but I cut in anyway.

"Menacing you mean!" I stole a glace at the broken house, "Help me fix this." I indicated to the room.

"Right." Said Tanner, who had come to his, and Bill together. I thanked the lord that day that my brother and Bill were full-fledged wizards. With a wave of their wand the house of shambles was reborn into its former glory. Bill stole a glance at me. I – he – that is, HE LOOKED AT ME! Ok, so it might have been the fact I had green, smelly, chunky goo all over my face, but I'm not complaining.

"Here," He waved his wand at me, and I was CLEAN! I did something then that clearly showed my state of delirium. I ran over and kissed Bill Weasley on the cheek.

"Thank you!" I breathed the fresh air around me like every breath was my last.

Oops! Was one of the first thoughts that came to my mind, as my face became cherry red. I slowly walked back to the steps, toward the bafilled Charlie. I turned to face him, my face still burning.

"To bed." I growled pointing upstairs.

"I think not." Was the redhead prat's reply.

"I think so. Your parents left ME in charge, there for, GET TO BED!" I was treading on thin ice and I knew it. I blew at the tesse of hair that flopped in front of my eyes.

"No, my parents left you in charge of the minors." He sneered.

"You dolt! You ARE a minor!" That blew the cockiness out of him, or so I hoped.

"Why don't you GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF OUR HOUSE!" Apparently I was wrong. His face flushed out of either embarrassment or anger I don't know.

"I'LL GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE AS SOON AS YOU MAKE ME!" This was a mistake. I could almost slap myself. He was bigger and stronger then I and I just challenged him to do something he could do with ease.

Both of us were flush and breathing hard. Tanner stepped in front of me while Bill did the same to Charlie. I pushed Tanner back.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way." I snarled, I swear I could rip someone's head off and Tanner was in my line of fire.

"Let her do her best." I heard Charlie call over Bill.

I tried to launch myself past Tanner and Bill only succeeding in hit Tanner and bouncing back toward my original place.

"My best! I'll show you my best!" I sent a scratching hand to trying to get past both the temporary bodyguards.

"Come on then. I'm waiting." He leered.

That was when I got my chance Tanner moved slightly to his left while Bill moved a touch to his right. I weaved through both of them and finally got the prey I had been seeking since I got here. I sent a right hook to his face and connected with his jaw and I kicked him in the shin. That was all I got in because Tanner pulled me away.

I spat on him as Tanner whirled me around. "Stop. Both of you are acting like toddlers." His voice was strong and some-what over powering.

"Oh, so suddenly you're the voice of reason?" I quipped.

"It would appear that way." I looked at me with a disappointed face.

"Merlin save the world." I mumbled, but I'm almost positive he heard it.

That was when there were two small pops in the background, signalling the ending of my job for tonight.

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**A BIG THANK YOU FOR MOONCHEESE! You are my first reviewer! YES! Thank you! I like Yeshia too. lol. I guess thats why I choose to use it lol. Thank you again, your the greatest!**


	3. In the Land of Forks

_Disclaimer- Well,I like to **think** JK stole all my ideas. But again, it's only what I think._

_Quote of the Day:_

_47.3 of all statistics are made up on the spot_

**AN: The name _Yeshia_ is said _Yeah-sha._****I'm not sure how to tell you this... I don't know when I can update again! (sobs) I'm so sorry. I wont have a computer for a while! It's not my fault! lol. I hope you can live without me for a bit. Though, I might be able to squeeze one more chapter before there is no more computer. (grins) but we will see. This chapter, I dont think, is very good. But you can be the judge of that!**

---To Babysit Charlie---

In the land of Forks

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_Sleep_, possibly the most wonderful word in the English language. Right now I'm having the most beautiful dream about forks and elastics. I will elaborate for you.

In my dream I'm the queen fork and I have billions of lower pitiful forks for my slaves. You maybe wondering, am I wearing a crown? Oh course I'm wearing a crown. What kind of royalty to do think I am? Anyway, so I'm the Queen Almighty Fork and I'm bossing around other forks to kill and execute all the evil traitor sporks and while doing this the Queen, myself, is eating a feast of delicious elastics. I don't ask you to understand dreams.

You may be wondering, what happened when Arthur and Molly came home from the peaceful dinner? Well, I didn't die. I thought for sure Molly was going to be a basket case. Blowing up about her precious baby Charlie that was too innocent to bring the fight upon him self. But she didn't. All she did was bring Charlie and I in the sitting room and lectured us about being responsible role motels. I basically slept through the whole thing. It's not like I was the one who caused the fight. I didn't push one too many buttons on the human bomb known as Charlie. I wasn't my fault.

Charlie and I were left alone to solve the issue together.

Bad idea.

Basically the same thing happened, I managed to punch, bite, scream, kick, pinch anything that moved on him while all he tried to do was pull me off. Damn it! That made me, if possible, more in raged. Finally Arthur came and basically pulled me off his son. I was mad. No, livid. All I wanted to do was gauge out his eyes and dump the rest of him a giant pot of boiling water.

Sure I might have been over reacting. You know what they say; mess with the bull and you get the horns. But the way Charlie was messing with me was NOT doing ANYTHING. He wasn't responding to anything I did! Hell, if he would just respond I would stop. He was making it seem as though I was the jerk, dolt, idiot, moronic person I was trying to make him out to be.

Arthur gave up eventually and dragged the kicking and screaming monster that was me into the kitchen.

"I think she's had enough for today." He said kindly to Tanner.

I growled as Tanner put his hands on my shoulder. I had now stopped acting like a sixteen year old whinny brat and stood there stock still.

"Why. Won't. He. Do. Anything?" I seethed thrusting my hand in the general direction from where Arthur had just pulled me from.

Bill glanced over to the entrance of the sitting room. "Charlie wasn't really going to hit you. He would never hit a girl."

My face contorted with anger. "What? He what?" I was pissed. If he wasn't going to scrap it out with me what was the point of the whole cheeky mouth bit? I was never one to give lenience to sexism.

"He's raised better then that." Arthur chuckled.

"I don't care. I wanted to fight. I could take him!" I snarled as my fits balled with fury. Everyone knew that was a bull faced lie. I could probably never take Charlie and never will. Yet again, I may need to remind you, he is much stronger and bigger then myself. But I still had half the mind to walk back to Charlie.

Tanner let out a puff of air while rocking back and forward on the balls of his feet. "I think we should be going…"

He, Tanner, had the nerve to steer me toward the door.

"I would actually like to take floo." I said threw clenched teeth.

"You need walk to cool you down." He said with a shrug.

He did not just say that. I did not NEED to be calm, I was calm, I AM calm.

I turned to look at him, his hand still on my shoulder. I can't describe how powerful not thinking about your actions can be. Good or bad. I grabbed his hand and twisted it with a quick and painful motion.

"I am calm!" I snarled. Once I let go Tanner, being the quicker one, he grabbed me around the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder. Thank the lord I never where skirts or dresses or this wouldn't just be embarrassing.

"That was NOT a smart thing to do." He breathed. It would be suffice to say I was out raged.

"Put me down." I said in a dangerous whisper.

"I'd rather not, thank you." I shifted me so he was more comfort able, wrapping his arms around the back of my knees. "Good bye Molly, Arthur and Bill. Don't forget to say 'night to Charlie for us."

I let out a frustrated scream and began to kick and hit him wherever possible. At long last he dropped me to the ground before the steps of our back door. I was about to tell him off when he gave me a stern look.

"Don't," He said, the warning evident in his voice, "do that again. What were you thinking? Do you have any respect for the Weasleys?"

"Yes. Well, at least, not for one." I growled.

"Don't be such a dolt, Yeshia." He complained. He was standing in front of the door. What ever he wanted to say apparently had to be said. I rolled my eyes. He always attempted these 'fatherly' discussions lately. "I don't understand you sometimes."

"Obviously." I moaned. I just wanted sleep. "Move Tanner."

With another stern look that could rival McGonagall's he opened the door a crack before starting up again. I sighed, would this night ever be over?

"If you wake mum…" He left the threat empty.

I just nodded before dully climbing the stair toward my room. This is a day I'll be glad to forget.

Ironically enough, my father was a pureblood workaholic who fell in love with my mum, a free spirited muggle. Tanner always told me father would never have time for anything but work while mom was always there. But ever since my father died my mother has become the workaholic, and in all honesty, it doesn't suit her a bit. Apparently she has this need to prove that single parents can be as well off as any married parents. Unfortunately for us, this meant less time with us, more time at work. When we were younger my mother couldn't very well take a baby and a two year old to work with her, so we spent much of our time with the Weasleys at Molly's expense.

I guess this is why my mum basically throws me at their door if they even mention anything to do with babysitting.

Now, back to sleeping. As I said before I am having a magical dream about me being a amazing Queen fork who wears a crown…

I could hear noises coming from around me.

"She's sleepy?" a voice ventured into my dream

"No, she dead." Another said sarcastically.

YOU'RE WRECKING EVERYTHING! BEGONE EVIL SLEEP DISTURBERS! I mentally scream at the dream intruders. There were three voices annoyingly popping into her head disturbing a fork slave from tell it's Queen, me, where the spork army was.

"You could have fooled me."

"Wake her up."

"No way, she your sister."

"But she fancies you."

"Sod off. Just wake her up."

"But she seems to be having a nice dream. Probably about you."

There was a soft _thud_ in the background.

"Yeshia!" a voice bellowed in my ear.

"FORKS!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Wait… forks? I lazily opened one eyes, only to encounter a sight I could do without. Tanner was crutched beside me grinning.

"Forks?" He questioned with both eyebrows raised. I groaned and rolled deeper into my mass of blankets.

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AN: this chapter was shorter wasn't it? Poo, I'm running out of time and energy.

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	4. A Great Day for Death

_Disclaimer- (sigh) I still don't own anything HP... Put I like to think I own this plot._

_Quote of the Day:_

_Consiousness- that annoying time between naps_

**AN: Well, I've been working my little fingers off but I finally got this chapter done. I have to tell you something, this chapter is more for me then anyone else. lol. For my own amusement. Again, sorry about chapters getting shorter... I do that alot. When I'll get to update next? I do not know!**

---To Babysit Charlie---

A Great day for Death

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Tanner prodded me with his finger, "Yesh…" He whined pathetically.

I threw my cozy blanket over my head, "To… early…" I moaned rolling my face into my pillow.

"It's 11:45." Said a voice I recognized as Charlie. Stupid git.

"I still have fifteen minutes of morning to sleep." I mumbled

It was now a week after the babysitting incident and I had been content on the idea I was going to spend the rest my summer lunging about. It had taken me three days to convince Tanner to turn my hair back to its rightful colour.

I could feel him getting a tight grip on my blankets. "Tanner don't you dare take my blankets." I said in a sleepy haze, hoping it sounded a little threatening.

"And if I do." He said tauntingly.

"I wouldn't, I'm stark naked under it." I reassured him. I stole a glance at Bill and Charlie's faces they were at the doorframe, both of sets of ears were now pink. I gave them a sheepish grin.

"She's lying." Tanner said flatly, "She always says that." With that he ripped off my cozy, beautiful, warm, wonderful, magnificently delightful blanket.

"NO!" I screeched while pulling myself into a tight ball. I was true I had been lying. I wasn't wearing much though. The thought of Bill grimacing was enough to make me shudder. I was wearing red boxers that read 'If you can read this your getting lucky' across the bum and my small 'weird sisters' shirt I used to wear all the time when I was like four. Might I add, my body is in no way perfect.

"Come on Yesh! We need one more player for the teams to be even!" He poked me again.

"Sod off, you wanker!" a muffled yell came from me, the human ball.

"Erm… maybe we should wait downstairs." Bills voice sounded some-what strand.

Great! Just what I need, he thinks I'm disgusting. I pouted into my knees.

"Ye-ah." Charlie said his voice actually crack.

Juuuust great. Another smooth move thanks to Tanner, stupid dolt. I am not a morning person. I do not like mornings. I am not in a good mood in mornings. Basically, stay away from me in the mornings.

I uncoiled myself and snatched back my blanket, which now exposed to the air, was cold.

"Go away!" I snapped and disappeared under the material. You can strike off intelligent in the morning.

I heard mumbling and footsteps toward my door. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remember my mother telling Tanner and myself the Weasleys were coming over for the day because… oh, I don't know why. Something about mum having the day off.

My peaceful slumber took me back into it's kind grace once again. Sleep. I love Sleep. Now, my dream had something to do with talking cheese. I realized at once the voice coming from the cheese was my brother.

"Oi! Yesh. It's been fifteen minutes. GET UP!" I knew where his voice was coming from and it wasn't from the door. I scowled as I pulled back my blinds and shielded the light with one hand, before opening the window.

"Oi!" I mimicked his voice, "Twat. Shut the bloody well up!"

Tanner, Bill and Charlie were up on their brooms flying just outside my window. I stuck out my tongue at them because, well, I'm really mature.

Sleep. If that's what my body wants, I guess I can't deny it. I flopped down in my bed and let my thoughts back to lala land.

It couldn't have been much later when I felt something cool and wet being shoved in my ear.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed as I rolled, more like fell, off my bed gracelessly.

Wet Willies. Not cool. Well, actually, when you think about it they are cool, but in a disgusting way.

"GROSS! DISGUSTING!" I was throwing a tantrum in my bedroom on the floor at sixteen, my arms and legs kicking mercilessly hoping to catch the miscreant in the act.

I stood by my window quickly looking out at the guilty party.

"WHO DID IT?"

Ok, now I'm awake … and very angry. They were not going to get away with this.

Charlie was hovering closest to my window. And, of course, I naturally assumed it was him. I've been looking for a way to get him back.

This was time for drastic measures. I hopped onto my windowsill and leapt to three-foot jump between Charlie and myself.

Might I add, this was not a smart plan. My room is about fifteen feet above the ground, I'm on the second floor.

Anyway I leapt, and like the true klutz I am, barley made it to him. In all logical sense someone should never leap out of a building to reach someone on a broom that is meant to sit one person.

"Aha!" I yelled triumphantly, though my prize jump didn't late for long.

I nearly crapped my knickers. Charlie was an excellent flyer (Not that I'm complimenting him!), but I doubt he is used to these types of situations. His broom begun to spin because of my fantastic idea of revenge and we swirled around at top speed toward the not so forgiving ground.

"SH-" I couldn't finish my curse because at that exact moment we both careened against the grass.

"OW! BLOODY HELL WOMAN! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US BOTH?" Charlie bellow.

We were now a tangle of limps.

"NO! JUST YOU!" I spat. I was hurt yes, but I wasn't going to show it. Stubborn pride is one of my many 'delightful' traits.

My BAAAACK! Was all I could think as I detangled myself from the redhead Wet Willier.

"Merlin, Yesh. You're a complete moron." Tanner said in his bewildered state.

I glared at him as if summoning death himself to take my dolt of a brother away.

Bill thankfully helped me stand straight and asked if I was hurt. And here my pure stubborn pride shines through again. TA-DUM!

"Like a fall like that could hurt me." I heard myself say, but what I meant was; Well, other than I think I broke my back, my neck, and maybe a leg and an arm I think I'm good.

He smiled good-naturedly and went to help his brother. What a kind companionate man… I almost couldn't stop myself from swooning as he picked up his ungrateful brother by the arms.

"If you could stop looking at my best mate's arse now, that would be great." Tanner smirked from behind me.

My face went hot, like it was on fire! To my horror Bill turned around his face was about as red as mine. Oh GOD! He looked at my and I gave a small 'Eek' of terror and spun around. Damn it! I inwardly shrieked at myself. Putting my hands over my face to hind the now cherry colour was next to no good.

Speaking of now good, here came my mother. Her mass of dark wisps of mahogany locks formed a messy bun on the top of her head, her green nonchalant robes billowing around her. If I were not so terribly embarrassed I would have commented on her billowing like Snape. She hurriedly sped walked her way over to the ordeal, closely followed by a bustling Molly.

"What in the world is going here?" For some reason my mum directed the question at me, like it was my fault.

Having temporally lost the act of speech, all I could do was peek out of my hands and give a noise that sounded like 'eep' and a slight shrug.

"I will tell you mother!" My brother bounded forward. He told her of the event and somehow managed to 'forget' why I had plunged out of the window in the first place. "- Then I commented on her ogling Bill and now she sent herself into this idiocy." He pointed roughly at me.

You could say I was a bit flustered. I keep sending side-glances at Bill and when he returned them I quickly looked back and gained about ten shades of red on my face.

My mother's purple furious eyes, er, eyed me wickedly. "So you decided that today would be a great day for death?" She snapped.

"No. I -"

"Molly, you may want to help Bill. And for you, Yeshia Olga Colgan," You know it's never good when they used your full name. Urg,I've been cursed with an ugly full name. "Are to get changed out of that ridiculous attire and help with lunch."

"Mum, these are my pa-"

"Excuse me," Poo on a stick.Mothers never listen. "If you cheek me one more time…"

"Mum! You didn't let me exp-" apparently my side of the story means nothing.

"That's it. I was going to let you inviteLucy over so you wouldn't be alone in a house full of boys. But now…"

"Ok, ok." I said raising my hand showing my submission.

"Then get going!" My mother can bark with the best of them.

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REVIEWERS!

Dark-Harry-Fan- _Thank you... I totally agree. I have alot of rough edges! I'll make a mental note on checking those stories!_

GinnyGin- _Thank you! Much thanks for your review!_

Moon's Luver- _I take it you like Remus too? lol I LOVE him. I also Have a little thing for a redhead whos name starts with a 'Ch' and ends with a 'arlie'. lol Thank you for your review!_

Ri0t-Gal- _Well, I needed a caring brother for this story, you know? lol. Thats good! I was trying to make Yeshia relatible. Success! lol. I dont know why, but forks often appear when I'm not thinking about anything... I think I should see a doctor! lol Thank you for reviewing!_


	5. Lucyfer

_Disclaimer- ... not mine..._

Quote of the Day:

_I always advise people never to give advice._

**AN: OK thisis my warning; some of the verbal abuse is worse then before. WARNING! And yes, I found a computer and I faking studing right now... which I will do as soon as I'm done posting...I swear -this time it's true- that I wont be able to post for a bit!**

---To Babysit Charlie---

Lucy-fer

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Walking down the hallway toward the kitchen I absolutely refused to look embarrassed. I think I've suffered enough for today and I didn't need Tanner to gloat. I held my head up high as I swaggered into the kitchen toward my mother.

She gave me a quick look over. This woman could NOT be satisfied. I used to daydream about the mother Tanner talked about carefree, completely fun, and amazing. But as it was, my mother had taken the 'authority figure' type roll when coping with my father's death and never managed to change back.

"Sweats? Yeshia, could you not have found something that at least showed we CARED about our guest?" Mother inquired.

Yes, I was in sweats. Big, dark, baggy sweats. It wasn't like I could impress Bill today considering that now every time I look at him I resemble a tomato.

"Oh Lizzy," Molly bustled over giving my mother a sweet smile, "We all love her dearly. I think we can forgive her."

I grinned up at Molly, looking feverishly like a small child, showing my range of teeth. Molly pinched my cheeks, hard. You would think people would understand that others do not like their cheeks being pinched seeing as I doubt anyone on the face of the planet actually enjoys getting their face pulled at.

"Can I give Lucy a floo?" I asked my mother. By muggle standards I had just asked if I could give my best mate a horrible sickness that lasted about a week, thankfully I'm talking about, er, talking in the wizarding community.

I needed a friend to help me deal with the ignoramuses known as Charlie and Tanner. I grinned sheepishly at myself … Bill I could deal with. In fact I seem to have fantasies about ravishing his mouth and pillaging his body. Or was it pillaging his mouth and ravishing body? Did it really matter? Though there are a couple slight snags in my only-wish-it-could-be-possible fantasy.

One- Bill seems to think of me as a complete moron that is his best friend's sister.

Two- I am seeing someone. Ok, I may be a bad person. But hear me out. I know I neglected to mention him and it's only because he's a slimy git. I've been with him since last year, but technically – since he asked, er, told me we should go on a break over the ten month period we were at school – it didn't count. I haven't seen him since. Ironically he is also a mate of my brothers.

Three- Bill is also seeing someone. Stupid tart.

So you see my fantasies must remain just that, fantasies.

Woah. Back to reality… I didn't even hear my mum's response over myself thinking.

"So can I?" I asked eagerly, dancing on the spot.

"Honestly." She sighed irritably and continued to make sandwiches while Molly made something that looked like potato salad. Apparently she completely forgot about her asking me to help. "Does everything go in ear and out the other?"

"Um… yes?" I said now jumping. By the way, I have no idea why I'm acting like an absolute dolt.

"Yes, yes. That's _fiiine_." Mother huffed, drawing out the word 'fine' which meant she would rather I didn't but knew I would anyway.

I grinned like a mad man before galloping over to the fireplace in the living room, completely ignoring the rest of the Weasley children and Tanner.

I threw some floo powder into the fire before popping my head in the emerald flames.

"Tairnce household, 2634." I barked and my head was transported into the living room of another house. My eyes searched the room. Aha! Mentally giving myself a high-five for spotting a small boy in the corner drawing.

"Bruce!" I greeted merrily.

The small boy looked up. He was identical to Lucy; olive skin, deep brown almond eyes, wonderfully bouncy rich brunette locks. Damn it! Why did they all have to be stunning? Lucy's whole family was exactly the same, well, not her father he has cheery green eyes.

Granted the boy was ten but he could have beaten me in a beauty pageant any day. I cursed under my breath.

"Yeshia." The boy nodded showing he knew I was there. "I'll get Lucy for you."

"Thanks!" I was careful to leave the bitterness out of my voice. After all it wasn't his fault he was going to be absolutely gorgeous when he was older.

Stupid looks. Stupid being better then me. Stupid. I was on the verge of another tantrum. And my mood didn't change when my best friend waved at me and walked toward the fire.

Does it not suck bollocks were your mate is absolutely perfect and your not sure why she hangs around you in the first place? Not only was she a looker. But she had to be smart, loyal, kind, outspoken, and all around just better than me. Even when her temper would rise she did it better. The look of pure loathing she gives anyone that would defy her… I envy that look… the way she beat a guy unconscious if he tries to get fresh with her… I envy that more.

"Hey!" She said brightly "What's going on?" Lucy plopped down in front of the fire.

"Wanna come over?" I asked half-heartedly. Though now I wasn't too sure if I wanted her to come over anymore… I didn't want her to steal my thunder. Not that I had any to begin with.

"Uh oh. I know that look." Lucy said sternly, shaking her head slightly. "I don't want to come over while you droll over someone that will remain nameless."

"I won't!" I said desperately. I would have stayed in my sulky state if I didn't realize having Lucy over would keep the teasing down to a bare minimum.

"You ALWAYS say that. Then I come over and watch you thinking of doing god knows what to that bloke." Her dark hair fell over her eyes as she attempted to look threatening.

"Man." I corrected. "And I wont. I promise." I whined. God I'm pathetic.

She narrowed her eyes. "Charlie is over." She stated.

"Um, yeah. Maybe." I muttered, trying not to let her make me feel guilty.

"So, what? You want me to play bodyguard?"

"If you would."

"And if I don't?"

"Oh, come on Luce! I'll owe you big time!"

She snorted, "You already do."

"Well, I owe you more." An idea popped into my head, "I'll be your slave for a month."

"Been done."

This was true. I was supposed to be Lucy's slave for a month in our fifth year because I made her do exactly what I was trying to make her do now. I had cleaned, polished, waxed, did, and said anything she wished… she got bored after a week.

"Damn." I cursed my lack of creativity. We sat there in silence for a bit.

"What time am I staying till?" I looked up at her gleefully, "Is it a sleepover?"

Not that she could see it but I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It's up to you, you pick."

"Sleepover it is. I'll be right over just let me get my stuff." With that she got up and jogged out of the room.

I glanced around their sitting room noting Bruce had come back to his drawing and was working on it intensely.

"Bye Bruce! Good to see you!" I squawked before pulling my head out of the fire with an I'm-so-superior look.

"I take it Lucy is coming over then?" Tanner sneered. He never quite got along with her.

I flashed him a flicker of an evil smile. "That's not a problem is it?"

"For the rest of the world it is." He snapped. "Tell her to keep herself out of this house." He barked.

"Talking about me?" Lucy inquired as she elegantly shook her mane of perfect bloody hair while gracefully pulling her night bag off her shoulders.

"Didn't hear you come in!" I shrieked.

'Hello, I'm the nuts side of Yeshia no one has meet.' This was weird. I never act like this. My delirium is taking over again! My panic must have shown on my face.

"Yesh, you look like you shat yourself." Tanner quipped.

"It looks like you forgot to get the broom out of your arse!" I was not in the mood. He should know better, really. He just completely humiliated me and expected me to take more crap from him. Oh, well. At least I'm back to my old self.

"Yesh," Lucy was looking at me and blinking far to many times then natural. Was she trying to send me moris code? I didn't know.

"Yes?" I said my voice was rather higher then usual. Crap. Stupid nerves.

"Help me take my stuff upstairs?" Her head tilted slightly, still blinking furiously.

"No. I mean yes!" I corrected myself.

"You'll have to excuse her," Said Tanner rather bitterly, "she must be looking at Bill again."

I glance at Bill. My face was flushed to the roots of my hair. I turned back to Tanner and made a noise that sounded like a snarl and he shrugged it off.

I opened my mouth to start the verbal assault war when Lucy grabbed my arm and promptly dragged me to my bedroom.

"Hey!" I glared at her. "I was going to get him good there!"

"Yeah." She said with a disbelieving attitude. "Right, was it: 'Tanner your such a wanker!'?" She imitated me.

Damn.

"No!" I lied.

She rolled her eyes.

Since when could she read minds? I made a face like a puffer fish before blowing out all the air in my cheeks.

"Think of better insults." She advised me.

I wandered over to my bed before sitting in a slump like manner. She went and sat across from me.

"What he'd do?" She offered the first bit of conversation. After I didn't responded and suddenly taken a great interest in my pillow she took another stab at it. "Come on Yesh. He wouldn't be acting that smug with out a reason."

I sighed and gave her a play by play on the broom/leap/embarrassment ordeal, making sure SHE knew it wasn't my fault.

"Stupid wanker." She breathed.

"Think for better insult!" I mimicked her.

"Talking about your lesbian lovers?" Tanner voice rang through my door. I felt my face burn once again.

Urg! Idiot. Stupid, immature dolt.

"Yeah!" Lucy yelled back, "Your mum!"

"EW!" Both Tanner and I shrieked in unison.

I threw my pillow, which I was still holding, at Lucy causing her to falter a bit. "That's MY mum too!" My face had taken a shocked and disgusted mask at the moment. "Why in the hell did you say that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

"Arrrrrrrrrgggg." I said before slamming my hands onto my face. "Your disgusting."

"Pretty much." She said nonchalantly.

"LUUUUUUNNNCH!" My mother's voice could probably be heard in some far off galaxy.

As the whole Weasley clan made their way to there table Lucy and I sat at the end, talking about what Lucy called 'proper revenge' in low voices. I passed Lucy a sandwich and said something stupid about if a Sand Witch had thought up the invention of the sandwich. Rightfully, Lucy smacked me on the head.

"So Lucy dear. I haven't seen you in a while." Said Molly. "What have you been up to?"

Lucy… what had she been up to? Huh. I've been so caught up in my own little dilemma I had forgotten to ask. I perched myself at the end of my chair and ate more slowly paying careful attention to whatever she was about to say.

"Nothing really. It's only been a week and a bit into holidays." She shrugged. I sighed in relief. She hadn't done anything exciting without me. "But I did finish the summer homework."

Bugger it. I guess there was a reason why she was in Ravenclaw.

"Oh, that's good!" My mother and Molly said in unison glaring at their children shrewdly. They knew for a fact that none of us had even taken it out let alone finished it.

The rest of lunch was myself shoving sandwiches down my throat mercilessly while being utterly amazed that the twins had not broken a single thing yet, nor had they suggested any type of fight. Though Ron and Ginny would push each other when they thought Molly wasn't looking. But other than that, the Weasley children were behaving!

And if you're thinking about me not mentioning Percy, that would be because he was sitting with his hands folded in his lap waiting for everyone else to finish, he had already had his share apparently.

"Mum," It was Bill and he was being egged on by my brother. "Could we, um, go to our house? You know, just to hang out." He shrugged

Molly's eyes narrowed. "Bill, dear. What you do at home you can do here."

"Well, yes. But we didn't want to disturb your girl talk and what not." He added hastily.

Molly couldn't possibly be buying this could she? It would have been obvious to a blind man they were up to something.

"I doubt you would disturb dear."

"But we want to play music and, and stuff really loud." My brother interjected. I could have slapped him up side the head. Bill wasn't smooth when lying but Tanner was pathetic.

"mhmm." Molly eyed Bill then my brother.

"Is that a yes?" Charlie asked. Apparently he was in on it too.

Molly looked at my mother who was in turn giving my brother a warning look, which he was completely ignoring.

"Is that OK, Liz?" Molly inquired raising both eyebrows to the heavens.

My mum jumped, "Yes." She said automatically. The boys grinned and gave each other congratulate glances and nods. "But take the girls."

Both Lucy and I looked to my mother to the scowls on the boys' faces to Molly, who had put on an 'everything is ok' smile.

"They don't want to go." Tanner insisted.

"Oh, thank you official-spokes-person Tanner." I snapped.

"Yeah, I WOULD like to go." Lucy informed them.

We smirked in satisfaction as the boys grimaced. Perfect. We could screw over their lounging around time like they screwed with my since of comfort.

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Ri0t-Girl- _I really do have an older brother… well two actually, ones annoying and ones nice. (sigh) I know, I just had this vision where the mother WAS free and wild at one point but now has reformed. (shrugs) lol thanks for reviewing!_

Clare- _Thank you! LOL. I got to work… well kind of. I tried to make the chapters a bit longer (someone had requested it) I don't know. I just feel the need to please. (shrugs) lol. Thank you for the review! And I hope you like my other stories. (EEK!) I almost forgot about them. I have them saved on another computer so unfortunately I can't work on them until I get to it. Thanks again!_

GinnyGin- _Hahaha! I love when dreams are weird. It makes life more interesting! LOL. Your dream is brilliant! Do you think I should make Yeshia have any more dreams? I think so, lol. Thanks for reviewing!_

Celi- _I know. (pouts) But is life ever fair? LOL. You never know, things might work out for her in the end. Thank you!_

Flukey- _(sigh) I know. I make a lot of mistakes then forget about changing them. BAD AUTHOR BAD! (hits head with news paper) I'll try to be more careful. Hehehe… did you notice my 'bafilled' lol, that was supposed to be baffled. Thank you!_

Akiko Saulii- _Thank you. And I attempted to make this longer… though I don't think I did a good job. (pout) I can't write for to long or I become very repetitive. LOL. That's mostly why I keep them short. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and complimenting! LOL_

Abnoxious-obsession- _I know actually. I betrayed myself. I said I didn't want to post it because they were so similar but I did anyway. I can't help it. When I read her story I thought there might be some far-fetched chance people might actually like mine and I got all excited. I sent her a review I'll show it to you:_  
**Wow, it's kind of scary. See I have this thing about making fics without it being in The-boy-who-lived era. And I have a story that is VERY similar to yours. Like scary similar. Now I dont want to post it, it will seem like a stole your plot! Poo on a stick. This is when I like to say, "This sucks monkey balls." Please dont bother calling me immature. It didn't work the first billion times, I dont see why it would randomly start now. lol  
YOU HAVE TO UPDATE SOON! lol  
-peace and love  
**_So you see I'm not THAT bad._


	6. Hippoptomnstrosesquippedaliophobia

_Disclaimer- Maybe if I say I own HP JK will come looking for me then we can have a chat about mine and Remus' wedding. I suppose she'd want to be invited…_

Quote of the Day:

_Anglophobia- fear of England and British culture._

**AN: AH! You know those Exams I've been 'studying' for? Yes, well (nerves laugh) I'm having one in less then two hours! (gulp) I got this one out because I'm a terrible procrastinator and this is more fun then studying. (Pssst. I'm using my friend's computer… we are 'studying' right now. Well, she IS studying. I'm not. I stayed up all night typing this bad boy. (I can't sleep when I'm nerves nor can I study.)) hehehe. I hope you like it… I won't have time to answer the reviews due to the fact I have an exam to cram for. I'll answer them NEXT posting… it will just be really long! (grins)**

**OH and before I go I apologise to anyone named Kitty or Peppy AND Hippoptomnstrosesquippedaliophobia IS real. (You'll get it when you read.)**

---To Babysit Charlie---

Hippoptomnstrosesquippedaliophobia

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Curious to know what happened what the boys had planned? As it were, right now I'm asleep again. (Did I mention I love sleep?) I know I should wake up, considering I have a very full bladder and ironically a very parched mouth.

I'm now in the world of my own imagination… Care for a better explanation?

I'm flying over the moon on a car sized popcorn cornel, but suddenly the cornel turns into a large purple and green cow. The colour challenged cow warns me that the ginger cat can't fly. I asked why I would need to know that information and he told me I was better off knowing than not. SUDDENLY the multicoloured cow turns into a ginger cat.

"You would look absolutely divine in Swiss cheese boots." It told me.

"What in bloody hell would I do with Swiss cheese boots?" I asked

"Wear them." He said… Duh, what was I thinking?

"Huh." Then realization hit me, "You can't fly!" I was going into hysterics "The-the cow said you couldn't FLY!" You have to understand we were flying over the moon. It wasn't a small fall it would –most likely- hurt.

"Did he?" He asked rather surprised.

I nodded.

"Better not disappoint him then." The cat shrugged and disappeared. I can't tell you how long I was falling or how loud I was screaming…

Anyway back toward the direction of what the boy were up to. Once Lucy and I floo over, which took us a while because Lucy INSISTED that she do her makeup before we left, we saw Bill, Tanner, and Charlie beginning to take booze (ie: fire whiskey, whiskey, scotch, bourbon, bitters, butterbeers… ect) out of god knows where.

"Well do me up the bum with a wrench." Said Lucy in awe. I slapped her arm.

"Your gross..." I said my eyes were on the boys moving the alcoholic beverages onto the table from a box on the floor.

"I thought we already established this."

"We did. It's just you never cease to amaze me."

"Well, I try."

"Apparently."

Charlie sighed, "If you two could shut up for a second and help…" He motioned around him and I noticed most of the Burrow's breakables were now hidden somewhere.

Holly Hell. They were having a party. When, in the name of Merlin, did they organize this? How did they even know the mothers would say yes in the first place?

"Your dad…" I started. Charlie gave me a pointed look.

"My dad isn't going to be home 'till around midnight and mum stays at your house 'till ungodly hours."

I noted my brother was trying to look extra busy clearly he was not impressed with the fact Lucy and I were here.

"Who's coming?" I tried to act causal as I picked up a picture of the Weasley family and putting it in a place where it less likely to break. Lucy was listening carefully choosing to move the small unicorn statue that was on the centre of the table.

"People." Charlie said dismissively.

Little bugger. If he thought for one second he was going to treat me like this…

"Who?" Lucy inquired leaning closer to him, as if he might whisper it.

"Why do you care?" he snapped before moving, of coarse we followed.

"How about because we're here. Now, spit it out." Lucy demanded. I might add she looks fairly impressive while demanding something, strong and stern.

"You'll see." He was trying to brush us off again.

"Oh." I said in a mock hushed voice.

"Whatever is it Yesh?" Lucy asked in a mimic of concern. Hehehe. I love it when she plays along.

"I just understand." I nodded solemnly, "There all going to be wankers like Charlie, here." I pointed to him snootily.

"Oh." Said Lucy, it was identical to mine, "I guess that makes sense. Wankers are friends with wankers." She gave Charlie the sympathetic nod and a shrug.

"Shut up." Sneered Charlie, he was trying to distract himself with putting out shot glasses and drink glasses.

"But I don't feel like shutting up. Do you Yesh?"

"Can't say I do. So anyway-" I was going to give Lucy some cock-a-bull story about god knows what when Charlie turned around to face us both. He too looked quite impressive when livid some of his fire red cowlicks had lain in front of his crystal blue eyes.

WAIT! I don't pay this much attention to Charlie! EW. Gross! Who ever has taken over my brain, GIVE IT BACK!

"What?" I missed his little speech pushing those unthinkable thoughts to the back of my head where they belonged.

"I said…" His eyes locked with mine and he stopped talking.

First, I noticed that his face wasn't bad to look at. Actually he wasn't bad to look at, at all.

CRAP! Bad thought, bad thought!

Second, I noticed it had been far to long since any of us had spoken. I felt my face burn.

"Did you know that –um- the fear for long words is Hippopotomndtrosesquippedaliophobia? … hehehe. You would think they're trying to kill the person." Huh. Well that's one of the more stupid things I could have said.

"Ehem," Charlie cleared his throat, "Yeah…" Before he set off to find more work.

I put my face in my hands. What the hell was that? I can't even comprehend where I was going with my thoughts. This is inconceivable. (AN: Anyone else seen Princess Bride?)

"WHAT was that?" Lucy turned to look at me, her perfect brunette hair falling perfectly to frame her face.

Oops. I guess she would have noticed something too.

"Nothing." I said slightly to quickly turning to straighten the glasses on the table.

Lucy sighed. "You and those Weasley boys." She hugged me from behind.

"I- What! I don't- What are you saying?" I whipped around to face her.

"You L-I-K-E like him!" She chanted softly.

"I do NOT like him. I don't even care about him. He could, he could-" I trailed off slightly.

"He could, he could…" Lucy imitated me. "Kiss you, hug you, snug you, shag you senselessly." She shrugged.

I gaped at her and smacked her arm. "Don't you EVER say those things and imply that Charlie Weasley and I will … we will NEVER. I mean NEVER Lucy! You're disgusting. I can't believe you." I rambled on.

"Then why are you so embarrassed?" she asked with a knowing smirk before gliding away leaving me alone to dwell on what she'd said.

I DO NOT like him, not at all. I like Bill. I've liked Bill since I found out that boys and girls are different and I STILL like him. Plus Charlie had a girlfriend. Not like it mattered, I'm just saying… This isn't happening. I DON'T like Charlie Weasley, nor will I ever. Now with this mental debate over I'll make myself useful doing… something.

I walked into the sitting room to find Bill, Charlie, Lucy and Tanner ACTUALLY talking in a civilized manner. I guess I was more surprised Lucy could HAVE a civil conversation with anyone other then me. Usually she bites someone's head off if she doesn't like them.

"Hey." Lucy still had that bloody smirk on her eyes flickered to Charlie than Bill like trying to predict something.

I rolled my eyes. "Hey." I felt myself blush as I walked toward Lucy and sat beside her on the well-worn couch. "So when's this thing starting?" I shrugged.

"Um, for you never." Tanner leered.

"Yeah, ok. I'll just go lock myself in the broom cupboard." I drawled sarcastically.

"That would be best…" He shrugged.

Thankfully the first person arrived. Predictable, tall and skinny girl with strawberry locks flicked her hair around before dusting the non-exciting dirt off her. This was a girl who graded last year with Tanner and Bill her name was something like Fluffy or Mushy or something that could describe her brain power equally well.

"Peppy!" Cheered the boys.

Oh God. This was like throwing starving dogs a stake.

"How do you do?" Lucy stood and curtsied in the utmost dramatic way.

I muffled my laughter.

"Fine." She said coldly.

"Oh. DARLING, you look fabulous!" Lucy cried looking so much like Peppy's fellow prissy followers I could have died.

In seconds another girl appeared, bright blond hair that was curled down her back, skinny as a broom, shinny brown eyes.

Damn. These girls could make you feel so inferior.

"I MUST know where you got that robe!" Lucy cooed to the blond, not taking her break from her relentless teasing.

This girl I knew. It was Kitty. The name is even repulsive. She had been my 'mentor' in this summer camp for young witches that I went to last year. Complete tart. All she did was talk and talk and talk and shop then talk about shopping and talk…etcetera. She ditched me six times in a one-week period to go shopping… or talk… and she refused to think I thought ill of her.

Kitty ignored Lucy and kissed the cheeks of Peppy before screeching at me, which made me jump about to the height of the ceiling. "Darling!" I caught Lucy in a side-glance, she was holding in her laughter, while me head was wrenched into view of the overly tall, skinny, blond, perfectly strait teeth girl. "You look afoul!" Did I mention she's the one going out with Charlie? And that she has already graded as well?

"Well, it nice to know I look as good as I feel. Thanks for the compliment." I muttered and Lucy burst into a fit of giggles.

Kitty chose to not hear my comment. "Look what you've done without me as your guide." She looked at me like I might be dead her face was extremely grave.

"Because I took everything you taught me at camp to heart." I said dryly.

Lucy was now holding her ribs gasping for breath. Little bit of a Drama Queen don't you think?

"Exactly." Kitty stated. Apparently this girl has never heard of sarcasm. "But I few flicks of my wand and you'll be good as new."

The emotion of pure horror came flooding through me. Lucy was now sputtering on the floor from laughter.

"NO! No, really I'm fine. I don't even care-" It was to late. She waved her wand.

My hair flew from my messy bun and fell around shoulders and my sweats turned into a frilly pink thing, I'm assuming is a dress. I could nearly faint. There was no doubt my eyes were in danger of falling out of my skull.

Remember I told you I never wear dresses? Yes, well I don't wear anything that considered 'girly'. I hate it all. I knew for a fact I DID NOT look good like this because at camp Kitty absolutely refused to go with me anywhere unless she gave me a make over.

Tanner burst out in laughter and Lucy was going to die if she didn't get air inside her lungs soon. To top it all off Bill was chuckling while Charlie was laughing so hard tears were forming in his eyes.

Bugger it. I hate this. I wish they would all just crawl in a hole and die.

To put icing on the cake who walked out of the fire next but Steph.

Remember my boyfriend I told you about? Well, Steph is short for Stephen. He had dark shaggy hair, a killer smile with cheery grey eyes. OH YEAH! That's why I'm going out with him. He's stunning to put him in a lam term. I have no idea why he chose me to go out with but I do know he did.

He flashed me a floppy grin. "Hey sweet cheeks." He said before wrapping his strong arms around my waist. It was then when I forgot we hadn't seen each other in ten months. "I see you dressed up for me." There was a suggestive tone in his voice.

"Wanker." I heard from somewhere in the world I left behind, the one where I wasn't out off Steph's arms. It was Lucy.

"Bloke." He retorted.

"Change me back." I gave him a baby pout.

"Na, I like you like this." He said leading me back to the couch, which I had jumped off of when Kitty changed me. "Bring out the booze!"

"Please." I whispered in a pathetic plea.

"No, sweet thing. I told you, I like you better in this." He responded before putting his attention back where it 'belonged', the booze.

Bill gave everyone a round of what they wanted when two more clone girls appeared, one a clone of Peppy and one of Kitty. I then got up and moved to where Lucy was sitting on the ground, she had managed controlled her laughter.

The abnormally skinny girls each had a butterbeer while I was looking to get absolutely plastered and forget this night, which was turning in to a nightmare, and got a double double of scotch.

As the night wore on I was completely bored out my mind. This was more painful then history of magic. All we did was listen to Kitty, Peppy and clones talk about whatever it is they do. (I was never one for girl talk.) Something about the new robe Kitty was wearing, which was purple and pink with gold and silver hearts and stars in random places. In my humble opinion, I'd say it looked like the making of a giant eating a mass of crayons while shoving the universe and peoples hearts down it's pie hole.

I mentioned something about having to go to the bathroom and with that I made my clever escape to, er, the bathroom. I staggered around, seeing as I was on my second double double and I'm the cheapest drunk you'll ever met, I was almost beyond plastered. After my return from the bathroom I decided I would take a rest at the table before making my way back to the place where I would DIE of boredom.

"Quite interesting, aren't they?"

I turned around, frowning slightly. I was meet by the face of Bill.

"Yup." One thing I could be proud of is that I rarely get embarrassed when drunk.

"Mmm." Bill was obviously intoxicated too. He was sitting in his chair pushing it back on the back two legs. His copper hair was in a ponytail and he was humming slightly.

"Where's Cindy?" That would be Bill's girlfriend. Stupid tart. Actually in all honesty she WAS nice and very pretty but that didn't stop me from hating her.

"I dunno." He shrugged. "We broke up."

"Oh no." There's an evil grin spreading across me mentally. A weird feeling came over me, one that was saying 'She wasn't that bad, quite nice, really. I'll make a note to check up on how she's doing.' Where this feeling came from, I don't know.

"How's Stephen doin'?" He asked.

By now everything had a somewhat fuzzy look and feeling to it. I became a bit sulky.

"You'd know more then me." I stated miserably. "Did you know this is the first time I've talked to him in ten months?" He hesitated which let me pout more. "Yup. Ten freakin' months. Ungrateful bastard. Completely ignored me in the corridors at school."

Bill's response was, "Huh." Before tilting back too far and falling off his chair. I broke out in a high-pitched laugh pointing and giggling in his direction.

"Y-you O-OK? Pffft. That was bloody brilliant." I squawked before walking shakily toward him and toppled over his chair and landed on top of him. "SORRY!" I burst out laughing again, which this time he joined in.

I grinned at him mischievously. "Hello Bill." I said in a seductive tone then I cracked up again. Then we just stared at each other. Bill's eyes are a beautiful warm brown they were so welcoming.

"Ehem." I cleared my throat before attempting to jump off him, which turned into a roll.

He then bolted up right like a gun was shot. "Wanna drink?" He asked gruffly running a hand through his hair.

"Yes. No wait… I have one, in there." I pointed roughly toward the sitting room.

"Huh." He said looking nowhere in particular.

"I better get back. Kitty will miss my frilly behind if I don't." I dissolved into giggles.

Once back in the Room of Boredom, as I now affectionately called it, I sat next to Lucy who looked like she could have been asleep her eyes were half closed and mouth was opening periodically.

"This is the DULLEST party I've ever been too. What was the POINT of taking away all the breakable crap? Charlie is SUCH a dolt." Lucy said incredibly loud, though I think she meant for it to be a whisper to me.

"I concur!" I announced lifting my glass like everyone was going to cheer.

"What do YOU suggest then?" The clone of Kitty asked, rather snootily I thought. I didn't really pay attention to Stephen's arm that was wrapped snugly around her back.

Lucy and I consulted in a two-person huddle before yelling BREAK like they do in American football and watched the expecting crowed.

"Well…" Tanner prodded. His arm was around Peppy's look-a-like.

"Truth or Forfeit!" Lucy and I yelled together. (AN: This is the British version of Truth or Dare, for those who don't know.)

"Honestly." Peppy huffed, "We are NOT fourteen!"

"Neither are we!" Lucy snapped. She could be a down right angry drunk when riled up.

"It could be fun." Charlie shrugged. I had completely forgotten about his presence all together.

We went around the circle we had created and made Bill do the chicken dance, Tanner told us about the time he first kissed a girl (which was when he was thirteen) Charlie had nothing but his boxers on (which I didn't mind in the least. Apparently Quidditch can do wonders on ones body. Not that I was looking…) Lucy had confessed her undying love for a muggle singer who had died many years before (Jim Morrison. (AN But who doesn't love him?)) I had to serenade someone in that room. I chose Lucy and sung Queen's 'You're My Best Friend'. The clones, Kitty and Peppy had refused to play and in result ended up leaving early.

Before we could even get to Stephen, Bill began pilling all the booze back into the box while Charlie was clumsily putting the breakables out from their hiding places. Lucy and I were lying on our backs, the room had begun to spin and standing would result in being sick or passing out. I felt like doing neither.

Tanner. Where in bloody hell was Tanner? Oh. There he is. I twisted my head from it's ceiling view toward to couch, he had already past out. Stephen, instead of helping once the cleaning had begun he declared he was to make his leave.

I smirked as he placed a lingering, semi drunken goodbye kiss. I forgave him again. It's just something about having a gorgeous man kiss you; it makes all your problems slide away.

Once Bill had all the alcohol away and was done cleaning and putting everything away (which wasn't that hard, considering it's two waves of his wand) he plopped down beside Lucy and to my surprise Charlie sat beside me.

"Can, um, we stay over at your place? It's just mum will know for sure, and Liz is going to work right?" Bill asked, his eyes were already half closed.

"What ever you want." I shrugged my eyes are now fixed on the ceiling again.

"We better get moving…" Charlie said, though now he was on his back as well.

"mhm." I said still looking up. Oh, yeah. I thought popped in my head. "Bill?"

"Yeah?"

"Change me back… please." I asked sitting up, very slowly. Thankfully he did so, with another wave of his wand. I hugged my big, dark, baggy sweats to my body. So comfy. I smiled with satisfaction.

"Thanks." I muttered before causally standing.

So there we were, the five musketeers walking shamelessly completely shittered through the fields toward my house. We had decided we should walk in case one of us is too wasted to appropriately use floo. Tanner was sleepily staggering in front Lucy and Bill who were talking in low voice and giggling which left Charlie and I in the rear.

"Have fun?" Charlie asked with a childish grin.

I smiled slyly, "Yes. It was pretty much the best time of my life." I noticed he was still in his boxers and I once again devolved into a fit of titters.

Finally we reached the house; I was starting to think Tanner was leading us in circles. I scrabbled up stairs and into my room, not paying attention to what everyone one else was doing.

And that's where I am now, in my bed with a parched mouth and an extremely full bladder.


	7. Bucket of Water at Breakfast

_Disclaimer- Huh. You mean I DON'T own Harry Potter? This is FANFICTION? No way…_

Quote of the Day:

_"I am SO smart S-M-R-T!" –Homer J Simpson_

**AN- I know. I said I wouldn't post in a while but I felt really bad because I didn't answer the reviews and I couldn't just leave you hanging. (As some of you know you can't have a chapter that's ONLY an author's note.) So I quickly wrote this chapter. I hope it's up to scratch… Fart. I have another exam tomorrow (math…ew). Don't even ASK how my other exam went. (URG) Maybe studying is a good thing. Maybe that's what I should be doing now…**

**Um. The review replies are probably longer then the chapter! (nervous laughter)**

---To Babysit Charlie---

Bucket of Water at Breakfast

00000000

I was screaming bloody murder. I was falling from over the moon all thanks to that pesky ginger cat.

I felt pressure on my face, my screams became muffled and when I tried to breath, I couldn't. Something was trying to kill me! I screamed louder than I have EVER screamed before but still, it came out muffled.

"Would- you- shut- up!" A voice ventured into my head.

My sticky eyes (ew) cracked open. I saw my redhead strangler in front of me his hand was covering my mouth tightly. I did the only thing I could think of… I licked his hand.

"EW! Gross Yeshia!" Screeched Charlie wiping his hand on … are those my brother's pants? Was he was wearing my brother's pants with no shirt? My mind was beginning to boggle for two reasons; one Charlie without a shirt isn't a bad sight and two, because I have a pounding head ach that feels like tiny giants having sword duels in my skull.

"What? Now you know not to cover my mouth." I realized I was still in my clothes from the night before and my bladder felt like it was going to explode. "I'll be right back. Stay here." I rushed across the hall into the bathroom.

Much better. I feel about ten pounds lighter… I swagger back into my room noticing that Charlie had stayed there obediently.

"Why are you in my brother's clothes?" I inquired raising both eyebrows. I had managed to fix my tawny locks into a more presentable messy bun in the bathroom.

"Well, er, it seems last night I managed to shed I few layers." He shrugged, though his ears were going pink.

"Huh."

"Yup. So, why did you want me in here?" He asked straitening out his, er, my brothers pants.

Oh, riiiight. Wait. Why did I want him in here? Think Yeshia. You didn't want him here just for his company…

Or do I?

No, I don't!

Right, of _course_ I don't. Um… hmmm…

"Do you know where my best mate might be?" I'm brilliant! Look at that! That's all I wanted to know… where Lucy was.

"Downstairs on one of the couches in the sitting room."

"And you know this because…"

"I was on the other couch. I came up to get pants and then I heard you being murdered." He said acted nonchalantly. He was looking around my room and his face went a slight pink colour when his eyes reached somewhere just behind me. I followed his gaze.

Crap.

He was looking at my bra that happened to be hanging on my length mirror. I whipped around to face him. My face was burning, as was his. I grabbed it and quickly discarded it under my bed.

"Ehem… Did you know that, er," Oh no. Not this AGAIN, "there is a place called tuktoyuktuk?"

"Um, no I didn't."

"Oh yeah, it's up in Canada or something." I nodded reassuringly.

What in the name of Merlin am I saying? Kill me now. Kill me now!

"Right, well. I'll store that information away for when I need it." He gave a mimic of my reassurance nod.

"Sure." The quiet was SO well, er, quiet that if a grasshopper sneezed you'd hear it.

Charlie was rocking back and forward on the balls of his feet not looking at anything. My face was ON FIRE!

Stupid! BAD YESHIA BAD! Think of something to say… anything. Well preferably something not stupid.

"So, should we wake your friend or leave her there until someone thinks she dead?" Charlie asked. I could have kissed him for breaking the silence or slapped myself for not thinking of it first.

You can guess which one I picked to do. I nodded to Charlie and as soon as his back was turned I literally slapped myself.

Smack 

"What was that?" Charlie turned to face me half way out the door. Did his eyes always look this cheery? Even if he must have a hangover so bad it feels like a cow is giving birth inside your head.

"Nothing." I shrugged and followed him downstairs to the sitting room. I don't know what my mum was thinking… white and peach EVERYTHING isn't cool. Peach twin couches, white carpet, peach curtains, white fireplace, peach coffee table, white side-tables. You'd think my mum was a nutter.

And there she was, Lucy was on the couch, right where Charlie said. I started to walk toward her when Charlie lightly grabbed my arm. I ignored the fact that my body now had a tingling feeling to it.

"I think we should wake her up the Weasley way."

I nodded and in low whispers we decided what to do.

Charlie and I snickered as we went to get ice cubes from the freezer, we snickered as we went to get freezing water from the and put into a bucket, we even snickered as he carried the water and I carried the tub of ice cubes.

We put our weapons on the coffee table.

"This is evil." I stated.

"I know." Charlie gave me a mischievous smirk.

"So then you know we won't live through this day if we do this." I motioned toward Lucy who's legs and one arm were hanging off the couch and her mouth was opened slightly still wearing her ripped jeans and tight t-shirt.

"It'd be worth it. Your not chickening out on me, are you Colgan?" His eyebrows raised and his crystal blue eyes were twinkling.

"I would never." I retorted heaving my head up high, only succeeding in my head throbbing heavily. "After this I'm so taking asprain." I mumbled.

Charlie grinned and took one of the ice cubes from the tub and shoved it down my sweatshirt while trying to muffle his laughter.

I gasped and let out a low shriek. Waking Lucy up now would be catastrophic. If she even knew I was planning this it would be the end of me. Thankfully the ice cube slide out of my shirt.

"Why you little…" I seethed before taking an ice cube and tackling him fairly gently and once he was on the ground stuck it down his pants. We were both trying to stifle our laughter and he was trying to get me off him. After I tackled him I took the liberty of straddling him before putting the ice cube down his pants so he couldn't get it out.

"What is this?" Uh oh. I recognized that voice. Lucy. Gulp. "Two little lovebirds sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G…" She sang.

I looked at Charlie with my expression clearly showing. I could feel the crimson take my face with a flame of heat. I didn't get off him though I just stared at him with an opened mouth.

"It's not what you think…" Charlie said quickly trying to get me off at rapid speed.

"I hope it is. Other wise your stupid enough to try and get fresh with each other way out in the open." Lucy gestured around her with that STUPID knowing smirk on her face.

"Ok what DO you think?" He asked. Charlie looked at me with pleading eyes that clearly said, 'Get off, GET OFF!' But I didn't move. It's like I had an embarrassment over load where all I could do was, well, nothing.

"Well, judging by the bucket of water and ice cubes I'm going to say you were going to 'wake me up' and got distracted." Lucy said eyeing both of us.

Charlie relaxed but I felt like slapping him, Lucy was not going to take this laying down. I looked at Lucy who's chocolate eyes flicked over to the water bucket then back to us. Oh no. This is not going to be fun. I leaned close to Charlie, bracing myself. He looked at me with a perplexed look and I'm guessing he caught a sight of Lucy carrying the bucket because his eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Lucy, think about this…" Charlie started.

Shut up, you idiot. You're digging yourself a deeper hole!

"Oh, you mean like you thought about doing it to me?" I could imagine the glint in her eyes.

SPLASH 

I let out a howl while Charlie swore loudly.

"I thought you two could do with a cooling off." She shrugged.

My teeth began to chatter and I started to laugh, my hands were on either sides of Charlie's head and his expression was priceless.

"Y-your f-face is-is so f-unny." I said pointing at him still hunched over.

"Oh yeah?" he said with the same glint I pictured Lucy having. He rolled us both over with ease, now that I wasn't dead weight, so he was on top and my legs wrapped around his waist. We both burst out laughing.

"Oh my god. You guys are completely obvious." Lucy drawled I could feel her eyes rolling.

"About what?" My voice was back to that high pitch sound, the way it always gets when I'm nervous.

"I guess I can say oblivious too." She huffed before walking off toward, I think, the kitchen.

Charlie and I sat there staring at each other and I began feeling REALLY awkward. Having your legs wrapped around someone who has been making your life a living hell since you can remember isn't exactly comfortable.

"Ehem." He cleared his throat. I then realized that that was my quo to unwrap my legs. I obliged. He then knelled in front of me as I sat cross-legged. "Well, now I don't need a shower." He said with an uncomfortable grin.

"Yeeeah." I replied trying to look anywhere but him. My eyes locked onto a picture of Tanner, Bill, Charlie, Lucy and I when we were all around ten-eight years old.

It was weird Lucy, Charlie and I stood on one side making faces at Bill and my brother. (Of course I had a crush on Bill there too, but I wouldn't tell Lucy for another, like, two years.) I looked back at Charlie who was giving me a weird gaze.

"Um…" He started deflecting his eyes and looked over my shoulder.

"Breakfast?" Damn that stupid squeaky voice.

"Sounds good." He and I got up and made our way to the kitchen.

Lucy smiled at us both. "So, what made you guys think you were going to get away with throwing water and ice cubes on me?"

THANK GOD she didn't mention the twilight episode that just happened.

"I told him we would pay for it." I shrugged and went over to see what she was making on the oven.

I'm band from using the kitchen appliances. I almost burnt down the house using the toaster last year and my mother has been keeping me away from anything that could possibly do more damage then a toaster.

"I love your idiosyncrasies Yeshia." Lucy cooed before going back to what I hope are scrabbled eggs.

"You making breakfast?" I asked.

"Unless everyone is having cereal." She shook her brunette head while laughing, "Yes I am."

Tanner and Bill came downstairs with the asprain bottle. I took the bottle and popped one of the pills and drank a tall glass of water, quenching both my dehydration and the babies that were pounding pots against my brain.

"What in the hell happened to you two?" Tanner asked before grabbing the medicine back while eyeing the soaked wonders that are Charlie and I.

Lucy whirled around, her hair looked extremely impressive when she did this, and said, "They thought it'd be funny to wake me with water, but I got them first." She flashed a bright smile at us all. Did this girl EVER have a bad day? How was her head NOT falling off?

"Huh." Bill sat on the counter. "Your making breakfast then?"

"Yup." She nodded enthusiastically.

"She's poisoned it." Tanner said ruffling his hair.

"I have not."

"Bet you have."

"Why would I?"

"I'm not the criminal master mind here."

"Your not the master mind of anything."

"I'll be one before you."

"Yeah, when pigs fly."

_Pop_

Tanner had conjured a miniature flying pig.

"Ha. Very cute." Lucy said dryly.

Am I the only one noticing the obvious chemistry here? Behind all the sarcasm and bickering they seem like the LIKE each other. They certainly send enough time looking at one another. I let out a low growl. That better not be it. This was weird. Maybe it was just pure hate.

"Why thank you. I didn't even try to get ready this morning."

"Your incorrigible." She spat as she turned back to the oven. "You stupid git, you made me burn the eggs!"

"I made YOU burn the eggs? How?"

"Shut up." I hissed to both of them.

"I'll fix it." Bill said jumping off the counter toward the stove. With a wave of his wand the food repaired and multiplied. "There." He said proudly before taking his spot back to on the counter.

"Bill you're a genius." Lucy said before giving him a peck on the cheek.

WAIT! When did this happen? What in hell is going on? Why did Lucy just KISS Bill? Why do I feel horrible jealousy and betrayal riddling throughout me body? This is unfair. I am completely lost, confused and hurt and all I can do to show my emotions is sit and stare.

Calm down. It's ok. Remember kissing someone's cheek isn't anything romantic it's just something people do. I mean I kissed Bill on the cheek once but than again I was delirious.

I let it drop, only because I didn't have enough courage to run out of the room and to much pride to go cry in a corner.

After breakfast we all pilled into the sitting room and put on the radio. I had decided over a metal debate while eating my eggs that it was a harmless cheek kiss, nothing more. I had forgiven both parties even if they didn't know for about ten minutes I felt like hexing them into oblivion.

The first song that begun to play I sat up like I was hit by a bolt of lightening and made eye contact with Lucy. This was OUR song. Supertramp may SING it but Lucy and I own it and all the moves that go with it.

Bloody Well Right is OUR song and we intended that we let all in this room know that.

Lucy and I stood on the coffee table and begun dancing rather pathetically to the beat while belting out the notes. There's something I forgot to mention to you when I was serenading Lucy last night I am a HORRIBLE singer. Dogs howl, cats hiss, birds squawk and they all sound better then me. I have tone def ears apparently.

As we sway and pretend to play the piano and guitar Charlie and Bill catcall while Tanner begins to 'boo'. I suppose when you see it EVERY SINGLE time it's played it gets old.

We all burst out at the chores.

"RIGHT! (right)

YOU'RE BLOODY WELL RIGHT!

YOU KNOW YOU GOT A RIGHT TO SAY!

YOU'RE BLOODY WELL RIGHT!

YOU KNOW YOU GOT A RIGHT TO SAY!

HAHA! YOUR BLOODY WELL RIGHT!

YOU KNOW YOU GOT A RIGHT TO SAY!"

Then we melodramatically bow to the gale of laughter that the boys make, including Tanner.

Today doesn't seem like a bad day. But than again, it's only ten in the morning.

0000000000

**REVIEWERS!**

GinnyGin- _Haha! Completely awesome! I love your randomness. I was going to email you but unfortunately my hotmail is freaking out on me. I can sign in now, but I can't send emails. It's SO Pissy! (for a lack of a better word) Hehehe (droll) Charlie only wearing boxers! LOL I hate science SO much. Right now I'm 'studying' for Math. During the next few chapters I might lay off the dreams BUT they ARE coming back I promise! LOL._

Sammie-b- _Hope I didn't keep you waiting to long! Oh, gosh. I hope your life isn't quite like this, I'm horrible to Yeshia. (Because MOST of this has happened to me I'm just over exaggerating it.) hehehe lol._

Ri0t-GaL- _(blush) brilliant chapter? You really think so? I'm sure you've come up with better! And guy friends are WAY better then brothers. LOL. Be careful you don't get into a relationship with any of them TRUST me it almost never works… you become friends again but things get AWKWARD! LOL. I like to think I'm the master of deception… huh I like that word; I'm going to try to fit it into the next chapter. I made you laugh! (claps hands and dances around room wildly) I love making people laugh! Thanks for the luck! When in doubt get luck! LOL. Thanks for reviewing!_

Abnoxious-obsession- _Thank you! HUZZAH! Someone's reading TWO of my stories? Which is the other one? Hungry Like The Wolf? Most people like that one… I'm not sure why I'm really sketchy in it. (shrugs) I hope I give you all the romance you need in this chapter… but I almost like humor. I feel I have to prove that there is NO SUCH THING as a perfect relationship that people tend to make on this site. I don't know… that's just my opinion. If you would be my Beta I would be honoured… See I said yes to someone else a while ago but they don't seem to understand that my hotmail isn't working at this moment so I can't send emails unless it's a reply to another… I don't want to know why my computer likes to make things difficult. So if you could email me that would be BEYOND wonderful! Thank you for offering… and I know what you mean those evil llamas are a pain in the ass. LOL._

Song Angel- _YAY! You read it. I'm so happy! (frolics in room) You think this is hilarious? (blush and tears of joy) YES! EGO BOOST times a billion! Well, brother ARE annoying. Don't get me wrong they can be nice and supportive but lets face it their whole bane of existence is to bug their sisters lol. Thank you for reading let alone reviewing!_

Beth- _Um… the loving. Oh riiight (hits head with hand) this is a romance story! Oh! LOL. I'll be putting it in VERY slowly. Hopefully this gave you a little taste of whats in store… lol._

Hottie-with-a-body- _Nax! … whore. Hahahaha Since WHEN have you had on Fanfic? LOL_

Akiko Saulii- _Thank you! Did you like the Yeshia/Charlie-ness this chapter? I just HAD to put more in… 'like giving starving dos a stake.' To quote my last chapter. You know what? I was planning on writing out the Truth or Dare but I got really tired and grumpy so it wasn't really working for me. I re wrote it like FIVE times before I figured I just couldn't make it work… at least not that day. LOL Thanks for your review!_

Limegoodness- _Haha! Thank you! You're actually the only person to comment on the cupboard joke… sigh. LOL. I'm continuing! Now READ this Chapter! Lol… or since you just did, you could always review again? LOL._

WAHOOPeppermintSocks- _Is it weird that I snorted when I read your review? I actually SNORTED with laughter… it's been like a year since I snorted! That's it I'm putting Yeshia snorting in the next chapter! LOL. Ohhhh! You gave me an idea! I think socks are going to be in the next dream she'll have! YES lol. I'm not going to have to watch out for peppermint socks anytime soon am I? Thanks for your review! I love Princess Bride!_

SEGA123- _Thank you for reviewing! I can't live without sporks or forks either… the world would be a lesser place without them! Thanks for your compliments the bad thing is I might have to buy a new house to be able to hit my ego… or maybe I should just live outside. LOL Oh! Do you really have SEGA? I used to have one but my pesky older brother wrecked it. LOL_

Flukey-_ Haha thanks! I love Princess Bride! I need your sympathy… two exams done… two to go! LOL. Huh, go figure. I never had the need to spell booze before –er- not that I've drank any either. (crossing fingers and hoping your not a friend of my mom's) I have to concur with you frilly pink dresses will be the end of us all! Thanks for reviewing!_

Ellilyo- _THANK YOU! But –er- she wasn't so much stoned as she was drunk BUT I completely know what you mean. Maybe next time I'll make her smoke a dobbie (sp?) with the boys lol. I'll try to complete it but no promises because you never know what day you might die! LOL. Thanks for your review!_


	8. The Loose Foot Disease

**Disclaimer-** _Harry Potter IS mine. (rocking back and forward in a padded cell) JK Rolling STOLE it from me! It's my precious!_

_**Quote of the Day:**_

_Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?_

**AN- Sorry this Chapter might be shorter then the others… I'm rushed I have another exam that I HAVEN'T studied for tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm doing here on the computer when I should be trying to make sure I don't have to repeat this year next year. But anyway… It might be a while before I update, I'm going away for a week or so. I will respond with the rest of the reviews NEXT chapter do NOT worry your NOT forgotten I just don't have the time! I will be back!**

**OK, Thank you for reviewing. The more reviews I get the faster I update! Yadda yadda yadda… and forgive me for grammatical and spelling errors, pretend it doesn't happen! I'm working on getting a Beta but I just didn't have enough time... it was either live with the mistakes or read it next week sometime. I thought sooner rather than later. **

**The name _Atreyu_ is said _A-tay-U_ and when I refer to him as _Tre_ that's said _Tay._ Just so you know.**

---To Babysit Charlie---

The Loose Foot Disease

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They morning wore on incredibly slow! I can no describe to you how I feel I could die right now and you wouldn't know the difference. The five of us are sitting in my incredibly dull peach/white sitting room having an incredibly dull conversation. How many times can you talk about Quidditch before it becomes like pealing off your own skin? Does it really matter?

It's like a billion decrees outside too hot to go out, too hot to stay in. So we all decided to stay inside where at least we have wizards to make the 'cross-breeze' charm to make the air circulate. I was now dry as was Charlie and he had acquired a shirt, to my disappointment.

Wait. Where in hell did that come from?

"I'm going to DIE!" Lucy said while sliding off the couch onto the floor beside me.

"Really? Because I feel like a bunch of roses…" I quipped lazily at her before re-doing my straw coloured main into a bun for the umpteenth time.

"Smell like it too." Tanner snickered sitting beside Bill on the couch.

"I've got an idea!" I said proudly raising my finger in the air.

"What is it?" Asked Charlie who was sitting on the couch behind me.

"Lets go to the Cinema." I beamed but Tanner groaned.

"Na, it's too hot." Tanner whimpered.

"Thank you Sherlock." I sneered. "The Cinema is air conditioned."

"Bless the lord for muggle intelligence!" Lucy cried while raising her hands to the heavens. "Oh. My. God." She said looking at me with wide eyes.

"What?" the four of use asked in unison.

"Do you know what's out in the Cinema?"

"No… we don't own a TV, so therefore I wouldn't see the advertisements." I said indicating to the room we were in.

Lucy's dad is a muggle, while her mum is a witch and her father had insisted that they're children knew what it is like to be a normal muggle as well, so the Tairnce family had a TV. My mum, on the other hand, had insisted that it would turn our brain to mush and had said something about reading being as good as gold for you. Right… the day I like reading is the day I start to write. (AN- I'm grinning right now!)

"Well…" Lucy started trying to rack up some curious people, trying to make some anticipation.

Bollocks. I'm weak, what can I say?

"What? Lucy spit it out!" I pleaded.

"Footloose!" She squealed.

Huh… and Footloose is a what? Wait a moment… Lucy doesn't squeal. She must be bursting to go or something.

"Is that about a disease?" I asked, I mean it COULD be a disease right? Everyone has a loose foot and some brilliant and gorgeous doctor saves the day with his ditsy super duper blond sidekick nurse at his, er, side!

"NO! Yesh, do you pay attention to ANYTHING I say? I've been talking about it for months." She explained to my using her hands to in force her speech.

"Um," Truth be told, I never really listen to Lucy when she rants about something on the TV. I never honestly understood the concept of a television in the first place. Why you would waist your life watching OTHER people's lives every day is beyond me. "Of course I pay attention." I just wasn't going to let her know that.

"Right. That's why you know what the plot is about." She drawled.

"I DO listen… I just have a bad memory." Which wasn't far from the truth. I have a horrible memory.

"ANYWAY," She said melodramatically "We should go. OH, and lets bring Atreyu!"

"Ok!" I said excitedly.

Atreyu was the number three in our three musketries. Lucy, Yeshia, and Atreyu. We are, in my opinion, the coolest cats in Hogwarts. Atreyu is possibly the most fun person to be around. He has big deep green eyes with dark blond hair and he's abnormally tall and skinny. He cracks me up! Gangly would be the right word to describe him.

"Actually, I don't feel like going to the loose-feet video or whatever, I want to go somewhere wizard-like." Tanner shrugged, "I wanna use my wand I can't that with muggles around."

"Fine. Bill, Charlie. What about you? It's on me." Lucy said, while beaming.

"I'll go." I rolled my eyes. Why did Charlie want to come, he HATES Atreyu.

"Bill?" Lucy inquired.

He shook his head. "I'd have to agree with Tanner here. Sorry."

"Fine, fine. So it's Atreyu, Yesh… Charlie…" I stifled my laughter as Lucy said Charlie's name like a burden, which he is! "And me of coarse. I'll talk to Atreyu. Your mum won't mind if were gone, would she Yesh?"

Probably.

"Nope!" I flashed her a bright smile as Bill lit the fire for her and she used floo to contact Atreyu.

"So, what's this movie 'bout then?" Charlie asked.

I shrugged, "How am I supposed to know."

"Didn't you just say you listened to her?" He inquired.

"Why, yes. I believe I did. Very good Charlie, that was very perceptive of you."

"Haha." He said dryly.

"Ok, well Bill and I are going to head out. Yesh," he prolonged his sigh, "if you do go out, take a taxi."

I glared at him, "And here I was going to walk to the Cinema. Thanks Tanner for your infinite wisdom."

"No problem." With that he and Bill disappeared with two _cracks_.

Lucy pulled her head out of the fireplace with a huge smile. "He'll be over in a bit he said something about putting on his good _slacks_." We both looked at each other and burst into laughter. I thought I heard Charlie say something a long the lines of 'poof' but I let it slide because Atreyu appeared out of the flames with a grin.

"Miss me?" he inquired in a suggestive voice.

I didn't think it was possible but he got taller. He was now about six foot three a good three quarters of a foot taller then me. His dirty blond hair was ruffled and messy, he was wearing ripped jeans (matching Lucy) and a ridiculously tight t-shirt.

"What in God's name are you wearing?" I asked getting up giving him a hug.

"You like?" He said striking a pose that was supposed to be a seventies disco move. "I wanted to look muggle-like."

Lucy and I burst into laughter. Atreyu's parents are both muggleborn witch and wizard so it was safe to say looking 'muggle-like' is not what he really had in mind.

To my surprise Charlie got up and shook Atreyu's hand saying something like 'Good seeing you again,' my jaw dropped. At school Charlie was never civil to Atreyu.

"I didn't know we were going to be in the presence of a 'popular kid'!" Atreyu said in false awe.

Charlie brushed off the comment and stood there quietly and politely. His copper hair was swaying slightly from the cross-breeze charm making him look stern and powerful.

What am I thinking? I'm not well today. Not well at all.

He too is taller then me, about a head taller. Actually Lucy is taller then me too she about five inches taller.

"Taxi?" I said in that unforgivable squeak of a voice. Why am I nervous now, of all times?

"Sounds like a plan." Lucy said nodding enthusiastically.

She went bounding off toward the phone in the kitchen to teley up the taxi. This was a silence I would be willing to escape. Awkward and weird would be a couple words to describe the quiet.

"So, Tre how is your summer going?" I asked still in a squeak.

Atreyu looked at me and grinned. "You know that girl, the one I told you about… the one who was visiting my neighbours, the one-"

"Yes, I know which one, get on with it." I said motioning with my hands for him to keep going.

"Right well… we had fun." A smirk was now settled on his face.

My face turned into a disgusted mask. "Ew, Tre. That's SO gross. You SHAGGED her? What a tart."

"She's not a tart." He defended half-heartedly.

"I wasn't talking about her." I said with a grin on my face.

"Oh, that was harsh." He said sarcastically.

"TAXI SHOULD BE HERE IN TEN!" Lucy bellowed. She came out of the kitchen dancing. "I'm SO excited!"

"Me too!" Atreyu shrieked before joining. Then he stopped and turned around. "I heard Yishie Yeshia helped out your mum with some babysitting." He stated to Charlie, "Was it fun?"

A weird thing happened. Charlie and I looked at each other and grinned.

"It was…" Charlie began.

"Yeah, fun is a way to describe it." I nodded and Charlie and a made eye contact once more before we stifled our laughter.

"Not boring would be another."

"Entertaining? Is that a good one?"

"Yup, you could use it. What about attention occupying?"

"That's defiantly corrected." I assured him before we both laughed.

"That sounds interesting…" Atreyu said stealing a confused glance at Lucy who shrugged.

"It was, wasn't it?" I asked Charlie.

"It was. Just think you'll get to do it again in a couple weeks."

"Huzzah!" I cried dryly while punching my hand in the air.

I snorted with laughter as Charlie eyed me discreetly. Well, it wasn't to discrete seeing as how I caught him. His eyes caught mine and I stopped laughing and things got awkward again. I looked toward Lucy and Atreyu.

"Do you guys know what the film is about?" Atreyu asked.

"Nope. Yesh was completely ignoring me when I told her and I don't usually keep touch with Charlie about movies I want to see." Lucy said brushing her PERFECT chocolate locks behind her.

"That's not true! I DID listen, I told you I just forgot." I demanded, although not having the same effect as I would have liked.

"Well, it brilliant really… but since you didn't listen to me before I'm not going to tell you again. You'll just have to find out for yourself." She said promptly waving her hand at me dismissively.

"Hey! That's unfair! You ALWAYS talk about stuff from TV and I rarely ever go to the Cinema. How was a supposed to know we were actually going to bloody well see THIS movie?" I inquired rolling my eyes like there was no tomorrow.

"It just proves you should always listen to me." She shrugged.

"Yes, listening to Lucy can come in Oh So helpfully." Atreyu insisted, nodding with assurance.

"Right, well I'll remember that."

"Yeah, sure. You have a shit memory, Yesh." Charlie informed everyone.

I made an effort to look offended, even IF it was true, and slapped him in his stomach.

_Honk! Honk! _

"Cab's here!" Lucy yelled ushering us all outside, making a terrible impression of my mother.

I grinned. There's nothing better then going to the Cinema with friends.


	9. Dennis the Taxi Driver

_Disclaimer- Well, it's obvious I own HP… That's why I'm writing at fanfiction._

**AN- Sorry I was at my friends cabin and they have no computers up there. Sorry again! I doubt I'll be able to answer my BEAUTIFUL reviews because I have three other stories in the making and I'm FINALLY at the right computer SO I'm spending most of my free time writing… lucky me. But I swear I will respond NEXT chapter! LOL. Finally, THE MORE YOU GUYS REVIEW THE FASTER THE CHAPTERS COME OUT! And I am aware that this IS a short Chapter!**

**And a big, no, HUGE shout out to my very own excellent Beta, Lynn!**

(Warning… Sarah, if you call me that again I'll stuff my pen up your bum… got it? AND if people START calling me that my RULER will be joining my pen. I have all my faith in my reviewers they will NEVER leave me… I hope.)

Quote of the Day:

_Love it or Shove it… _(hehehe Sarah)

**---To Babysit Charlie---  
Dennis the Taxi Driver**

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Sitting through this movie might have been a bit more enjoyable if there had not been a pesky Weasley there to wreck it all!

"Why does everyone care about dancing so much?" Charlie whispered in my ear for the umpteenth billionth time.

"I dunno? It's fun?" I replied in a low voice.

"But it's like they are obsessed, right. I mean who cares? It's dancing, get over it."

"Charlie, shhh!" I shushed him.

Pause.

"That guy HAS to be a poof." Can Charlie NOT watch a movie?

"Does that have to do with anything in the movie?" I hissed.

"I'm just saying, no guy can dance like that and not be a poof."

"Charlie, shut it!" Believe me, I'm trying my best to keep my voice down but with Charlie it's like praying for the ocean to dry up.

"Shhhhhh!" The crowd protested.

"Why don't they just dance? Who's going to stop them? I mean it's not like the bad guy father knows EVERYTHING! They could go dance anywhere all together IN the town and dance the night away. Why don't they just do that?"

"DEAR GOD, CHARLIE SHUT UP!" I screamed, "I DON'T KNOW, OK? JUST DROP IT!" I bellowed, making everyone round me, including Charlie, jump. He looked absolutely bewildered. His face was priceless. I tried to stifle my giggles, but unfortunately I was unsuccessful.

"SHHHH!" Was the hiss from the sea of people in the theatre.

"Is there a problem here?" An usher asked curtly.

"N-no." I stammered, still trying to control myself. Lucy looked at me, again blinking more than usual, and shook her head while Atreyu gave me a wink.

What the hell was the wink for? What the bloody hell is going on lately?

I stuck my tongue out at Atreyu before turning back to the screen.

Damn. I missed something important. The lead bloke, Sausage or something, is now teaching the other bloke, his friend the farm boy, how to dance.

Charlie leaned toward me, and I closed my eyes stopping my natural reaction to slap him. If he was going to ask another question OR just give me his professional opinion about the recent events that have just happened in the movie, I'm not sure my self-control would hold.

"Sorry." He muttered before turning back to the screen.

I stole a glance at him. He wasn't really paying attention to the film, more or less just looking in the general direction. He glanced at me from the corner of his blue eyes and when he saw me looking at him. He gave me a sheepish grin.

"S' okay." I said before turning back to the two blokes dancing on the giant projected scene.

It was fun, really, Charlie and I were now playing a game, or at least I was. I would catch him stealing side-glances at me, then he would look away, then he'd catch me looking at him and I'd look away. When either of us got caught I would suppress my laughter.

My focus was dragged back to the main attraction when the theme song erupted from the surround sound and the main characters were jiving in the long awaited dance.

Lucy was screaming like a wild cowgirl and doing a little hoe down. "YEHAW!"

I burst into laughter as I began to join her. Soon the two of us were kicked out. (AN- not like it matters that's the end of the movie!) Charlie and Atreyu came out with us while giving us disappointed looks. We were now sitting on the sidewalk by a fairly crowed street just outside the Cinema.

"BRILLIANT!" I shrieked before giving her a high-five.

"I TOLD you this was going to be a blast!" Lucy laughed before going to hang on Atreyu.

"You said no such thing! You said 'we should go, let's bring Atreyu!' " I imitated her.

"Whatever. It WAS brilliant wasn't it?"

"I concur!" I roared before realizing something. "Do you think they'll let us back inside to use the teley?"

"No. You made sure of that." Charlie said with a shrug.

"Sod off, wanker." Lucy drawled.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, blokes and more feminine bloke," Lucy glared at me, "lets NOT fight and figure a way out of this tight spot, shall we?"

"Sorry, did I insult your boyfriend?" Lucy asked.

OH! Now she'd done it! She had been treading on thin ice, but now she fell through and was going to drown.

"What did you JUST say?" My eyes were flashing dangerously.

"You heard me! You've been acting this way for TWO WHOLE days, Yesh. Don't think I haven't noticed. You're ogling him all the time. There is no mate of mine left in that-" she pointed at my head "-thing you call a brain when this wanker is around!" She shot a dirty look at Charlie. I blushed to the roots of my hair.

"What do you say to that?"

I stood there staring at her for a while like a fish out of water, just gaping. Charlie looked very unsure of him self and he kind of just did the same thing as me. Atreyu looked from me to Lucy to me to Lucy so many times it was like he was at Wimbledon.

"Say that again." I dared through tight teeth, my hands were now fits clenched at my sides.

Lucy took on an ashamed look. "I'm sorry, Yesh. It just- I don't know why I did that. It was completely unfair. I don't- I don't- I'm sorry Yeshia. I didn't mean it. Forgive me please?"

I eyed her then turned around and skulked blindly across the street.

The nerve. What the hell was she trying to pull? I DO NOT have a thing for Charlie, nor will I EVER. I don't think I can even look her in the eye again I just might snap and go ape on her. My insides burn. Why did she say that? Why would she say that? And why did it hurt so much when she said it?

I heard her running up to catch me. "Yesh! Come on, wait a minute!"

I whipped around when she was about a foot away.

"Why did you say that?" I seethed as I pointed roughly in the direction of Atreyu and Charlie, still across the street, avoiding each other.

"I don't know, Yesh. I really don't."

"Then maybe you should think before you speak."

"I know I should have thought, forgive me?"

"Did you mean it?" We made eye contact.

Her eyes darted to the left. "Yes."

"You did?" I asked in shock. "When did you come up with this brilliant notion?" I asked, waving my hands about.

"I don't know, before the party-"

"You mean the snore fest." I corrected her.

"That's the one."

"What about it? What do you mean by before?"

"Well, you always say stupid things when you're nervous." She motioned with her hands progressively.

But I nodded as a sign for her to continue any way.

"When you and Charlie stopped talking when he was setting out the glasses, it became quiet and you guys were just looking at each other. Then you said something about Hippy-yadda-yadda-phobia and I knew you had just been picturing him naked or something."

I flushed and burst into laughter Lucy visibly relaxed. "First off; I NEVER pictured him naked, second; it's Hippopotomndtrosesquippedaliophobia, and third; I DON'T like him! It was an awkward silence! What do you want from me?" I didn't bother telling her about the second time I had made an arse of my self, telling Charlie about Tuktoyuktuk.

Lucy began to laugh. "So we're OK then?"

"We're OK." I nodded and we linked arms and made our way toward the boys, back across the street. "You believe me don't you? About me not liking him?"

She paused.

"Yeah, of course" She laughed and that was that.

The Cinema had let Lucy in to make a phone call IF she promised to do it quickly and quietly. I strongly doubted she could do it, but she did. The taxi only took about two minutes and we were on our way home.

"So…" Charlie said as he sat beside me, (I was in the middle back beside Atreyu and Charlie while Lucy took the liberty of sitting in the front passenger seat.), as we were on our way home to my house in the bright yellow taxi that smelt oddly like goat droppings.

"Yeah," Atreyu said fiddling with his obscenely tight T-shirt shaking his dirty blond locks carelessly.

"That bloke HAD to be a poof." Charlie nodded, ruffling his gingery hair.

I laughed, "You're obsessed, you know that?"

"I am not. I' m just saying."

"What was his name again? Kyle Pork?" I asked. I could feel my brow nit with curiosity.

"Kevin Bacon!" Lucy and Atreyu yelled in unison and we all broke out into laughter.

It took a little over an hour to get back to my humble abode and, as much as I hated to admit it, I was enjoying the company of Charlie Weasley. Though now he and Atreyu were RUDELY talking over me about Quidditch in low voices and Lucy was having an intense one-sided conversation with the taxi driver.

The taxi driver was a rather clean-shaven man who was, without a doubt, gorgeous if he was in the proper occasion. His dark hair and dark eyes with his pixy white skin looked absolutely stunning. He was wearing dark gray trousers and a weirdly purple shirt with white tennis shoes. It was easy to see, though Lucy was trying her best to woo him, she was going to drive him off a bridge, literally.

Today, I decided, was not the day I felt like plummeting to my death because my best mate drove the taxi driver insane, so I cut into her conversation. After I did so the driver, whose name was apparently Dennis Goffernvoder by the tag on the dash, gave me a grateful look before turning his full attention back to the road.

"Luce, give the poor man a break." I said patting her arm playfully.

Her brunette head turned gave me an if-you-want-to-go-after-him-I'm-not-giving-up-without-a-fight look.

"I was JUST asking him if he was German." She said in a cool tone.

"Yes, and he's said he's Bulgarian four times now." I said slowly as if talking to a complete dunderhead.

"Are you really?" Lucy asked flirtatiously turning back toward the driver smiling slyly at him.

It infuriates me that some girls can pull off that your-uber-cool-now-whisk-me-away glance just by looking through their eyelashes. I can never pull this off without looking excessively desperate.

"Yes." The driver said dismissively, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Oh. Maybe you know Yesh's second cousin. What's his name?" Lucy asked never taking her brown orbs off her prey.

"Victor Karkatovon." I said automatically.

My mother had told me about her cousin and how much of a nice man he was and about how they used to play and talk at family reunions. But ever since my mum had my brother and myself she avoids any chance of our little secret getting loose, you know, being magical and all. Therefore I have never had the pleasure of meeting cousin Victor.

Another thought hit me. Why is it that as soon as someone finds out another person is from another country they naturally assume they know EVERYONE? I mean, I once went to America over the winter holidays to ski with my mum and Tanner and some bloke asked me if I knew Owen Something-or-other because apparently he too lives in the UK.

"No. I do not know this Victor." Said Dennis with a prominent accent.

"Huh, too bad." Lucy said in a lazy voice before leaning forward and laughing, though there was nothing remotely funny about it in the least.

"Vhere does your cousin live?" He asked with a little interest.

Huh. That question, easy as it may sound, stumped me entirely. I just realized that all the family I knew lived in the same house as me. My father's family had shunned him from the Colgan name once my father had married my mother. I don't really know why, something about impure blood.

"I have no idea, actually. I'll ask my mum." I thought for a moment, "Dennis sounds like very British name." I stated.

"Yes, my mother vas born and raised in Bulgaria vhile my father vas from here. My mother did not vant to move vhen she vas pregnant so I vas born and raised in Bulgaria like her and now I live here, to vork. I vas named after my father." He nodded with a stern look and that was the end of our conversation with Dennis the Taxi Driver.

He dropped us off at my driveway and as the four of us made our way back to my house where I was confronted with a VERY angry mother of mine.

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**AN- Once again sorry for not being able to respond I DO have other stories to write and I'm finally at my daddy's house so I can do so. I WILL respond NEXT chapter, so don't fret if you had a really important question or something!**

**A little inside peek for those who actually READ author's notes! I think I'm going to prolong this story and drop major DRAMA BOMBS! I can't really help it… I'm nothing without drama. So sometime in the future there will be less humor and (if possible) less romance BUT I swear it will pick up like a melting ice cube in the sun! Slow at the beginning but CAN'T STOP at the end! The Drama will be very –er- drama filled!**


	10. I Have a Serious Problem

_Disclaimer- Me, own HP? Yeah, when pigs fly._

**AN- I typing SO fast. I'm at a family event and I don't really have time! EEK! I hope you like this chapter. It's pretty random and I had writers block. Oh and if anyone has seen my Beta Lynn (Abnoxious-obsession) could you tell me? I think she might be dead! I really hope she isn't! I sent her this before I left and she hasn't managed to return it. (So it might have a lot of mistakes) LYNN? Are you out there? And I was wondering what you guys would think if I made this into an actual story, not just a HP spin off. Like, you know, actually CREATE my own characters (gasp) But the spin off will continue, I mean after this is done.**

**Oh, yes and there ARE going to be HBP spoilers at the end this chapter. I feel it's my duty to give you my views.**

Quote of the Day:

_Ever notice that the people who are late are often more jollier than the people who have to wait for them?_

**----To Babysit Charlie----**

**I Have a Serious Problem**

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So, we arrived back home –or at least my home- from the Cinema and by the look on my mums face I was going to get a verbal lashing.

"Yeshia Olga Colgan!"

I winced. God, I hate when she does that.

"Where do you get off? Not even leaving a note explaining your little excursion." My mother huffed, her mahogany locks flaring out of the bun on the back of her head. "Honestly, what am I supposed to think? I come home to a house void of any kids? You could have been DEAD!"

"Mum, I'm not dead." I started as she pulled me into our horrendous white and peach living room by MY EAR.

Huh, so that's where I get it.

"Well, that much is obvious." She snarled and the other three teens awkwardly wait at the front door of my house, debating on whether it's worth risking their lives to save me from the dragon that is my mother.

"I didn't even think you were going to be home this early. You usually come home pretty late." I stated tightening my ponytail.

"Oh!" My mum put her hand over her mouth to mimic her surprise. "THAT makes it better. What if, hypothetically speaking, I come home early because I thought it would be nice to spend some quality time with my responsible, reasonable children?"

"I guess you would have to find those kind of kids first." Oops. I probably shouldn't have said that.

Oh my God. My mum's eyes were practically popping out of her head. Obviously that WAS the wrong thing to say.

"Excuse me?" She glared at me with a somewhat frightening look. "I think you should re-think that comment."

Yeah, both you and me.

"Sorry." I said quickly as to not make my mum explode. "I SHOULD have left a note. It was completely irresponsible. I was wrong and I hope you can forgive me." Wow, I said that FAST. I probably would have laughed if I didn't fear for my life.

"Yes, you should have." My mum nodded furiously pointing an accusing finger at me.

"I utterly agree." I said.

"Yes, and you should."

"Absolutely."

"Right."

"Right."

"I think your guests should get home. No doubt they have forgotten to leave THEIR families a note of some sort." My mum snapped.

"If that's what you want." I said smiled in an I'm-so-sorry-please-forgive-me-because-I'm-your-only-daughter-and-I-once-was-a-fabolously-cute-little-baby smile.

And as my mum stared me down and the others made their way to the fireplace she growled, "I think you kids could do with a little fresh air. I believe you can walk home."

"Alright-y." I said as I ushered the three skulking teens out my front door.

"That was interesting." Atreyu stated once we were safely out side.

"I concur." I shrugged.

"You say that to much." Lucy nagged.

"I concur."

"I think you should NOT say it."

"I concur."

"When are you going to stop?"

"I concur."

"Yesh, that doesn't even make sense."

"I con-"

"Stop!" Lucy demanded.

"Ok." I flung my hands in the air to show my submission.

It was then when Lucy began to do ridiculous runner's stretches and breathing in sync to her movements, saying a muffled '1 and 2 and 3 and 4', her brunette hair swaying from side-to-side.

"Tre and I will walk to my house and he can floo from there." She said doing a particularly complicated stretch involving her foot and Atreyu's shoulder.

Then Atreyu started to join her both acting like they were going on a cross-country race in matching obscenely tight T-shirt and ripped jeans.

"Maybe our friend Mr. Weasley, here, could do with assistance on his walk home?" Lucy questioned while doing an awkward lunge. And with that her and Atreyu began in speed walk pace toward Lucy's house, which was only down the road.

"Do you need assistance on your journey to our own house?" I inquired to said Weasley.

He gave me a grin and his crystal eyes sparkled, "Only if you are doing the assisting."

I laughed and we both set off into the fields toward the Burrow.

As we were walking I noticed a certain Weasley bumped me a tad, and –being who I am- I retaliated, I bumped back. And, as we all know, push lead to shove. I bumped a little harder then he did the same. Soon it was a full-fledged heaving contest.

He pushed me so hard I nearly lost my balance and then he retreated a couple paces ahead. I snarled, he wasn't getting away with that, plus he should know never to put your back to your opponent. I hurled myself the three-foot distance between us and landed in a piggyback situation and he swung around and we both toppled to the ground.

"Bloody Hell!" We hollered in unison and instantly we both cracked up, letting out peals of laughter.

I rolled off of him, as I was sprawled across his stomach, onto the grassy field we had been walking just moments before, my tawny tresses flared out along the greenish yellow grass - my bun had apparently fallen out. I looked up at the blue sky that was tainted with the clouds and sighed as we both became quite.

"That cloud looks like a bunny." I stated pointing loosely at the white wispy shapes above us.

The marshmallows in the sky began to shift and Charlie said, "Now it's a decapitated bunny."

"Ew! Charlie, you're sick." I grimaced and lightly slapped his arm.

"What? It's true." He flung his hand out to indicate to the clouds.

"Urg." I muttered and continued looking up. The white cotton candy began to morph again as we sat and watched.

"That one looks like a Bludger." Charlie said limply after a while.

"Charlie, you didn't just say that."

"It does."

"The cloud is round."

"Yeah, and it looks like a Bludger."

"Charlie, it could be anything round. A football, a wheel… other things that are circular."

God, I'm smart.

He laughed and comfortable silence took us over once again.

"I guess we should finish this journey before your mum send out a search party." Said Charlie as he got up and offered his hand to help me up.

So far we had seen a bunny, a decapitated bunny, a bludger, a dinosaur, a car, several utensils and once Charlie said a cloud looked like a brick and, rightfully, I pinched him.

I accepted his hand with and he pulled me up, which I made exceedingly hard by making no effort to stand up. I grinned when he gave me a look that clearly said 'please-make-this-as-hard-as-possible-because-it's-REALLY-fun'.

"Charlie," I said in a serious voice, "I think I have rag-doll-syndrome."

"What?" he asked after having hauled me up right.

"Rag-doll-syndrome." I repeated, loud and clearly.

"And that would be?" He inquired as his eyebrows rose.

I flopped back down on the grass like I had no bones. "Ow. Wait to catch me." I said dryly as I continued to lye in the yellowish-green grass.

"What the hell are you doing?" He question while sitting down beside my head ruffling his fire hair.

Instantly I started to giggle and, I hate to admit it, snort very loudly and un-lady like. Fire hair. Do you know what I think of when I say that? Fire crotch. That's right, I was snickering about Charlie being a fire crotch (ew) because I'm really mature.

"What?" He asked accusingly, his blue orbs searching for a clue of what may have caused the outburst.

"N-nothing!" I tried unsuccessfully to stifle my laughter, which only resulted in me snorting a very undignified, er, snort.

"You like your own jokes?"

I nodded dumbly.

"Right. Well, care to elaborate? Or, maybe, at least get up?"

I stared at him, still chuckling, "I can't. I told you I have-"

"-Rag-doll-syndrome. Yeah, I got that." He rolled his eyes at my antics but he was beginning to smile. "How do you cure it?"

"How should I know? Just because I made this fatal illness doesn't mean I made up a cure."

"Oh, I see." Charlie nodded in a mock concern. "What are the symptoms?"

"Well, I can't move." I stated with a glum expression.

"Hmm." Charlie taped his chin to mimic deep in thought, "I've got it!" He smirked as I let out a shriek of surprise when he scoped me up in his arms.

"CHARLIE!" I yelled. "PUT ME DOWN! I'M GOING TO BREAK YOU!" Like I said, my body is in no way perfect and his arms might fall off if he attempts to carry me.

He threw his head back and laughed while he placed me on the ground and now we were standing close. Like really close. I frowned and poked him in the chest.

"Don't do that again." I scolded before flicking my hair behind my back and using my spare scrunchy (I'm always armed with an extra) to pull the tawny mass into a messy bun.

"Yes ma'am." He said and saluted me. With that we both smiled and, I don't know about Charlie, but I let out silent laugh. Heading to the Weasley's was turning out to not be so bad.

Knock on wood.

Talking about everything and nothing is what consisted of the rest of our walk. Charlie had the nerve to even touch on the subject of my boyfriend, Steph, and feeling particularly loyal I had the bollocks to stand up for the slimy git.

"I don't really understand why you're going out with him. He's a total dolt." Charlie braved.

"Excuse me? He is… not! And you happen to be with the girl who is about as sharp as a bag of hammers." I scuffed.

"That maybe, but at least she doesn't act like a complete arse. He's the shits, Yesh."

"He has his moments." I growled.

"You can do better."

"Oh, yeah. I always have to deal with blokes fighting to go out with me." I said, sarcasm oozing from every word. "It's a war zone."

He sighed and shifted for a second then said, "So do you think you're going to make it on the Quidditch team?"

Typical guy, sports instead of a REAL conversation.

"That kind of depends on what you think, doesn't it?" I snapped.

"I guess I'll have to save you a spot then." He grinned as I jumped up and down.

"You would really do that?" I asked smiling from ear to ear.

"Yeah, you and Angus HAVE to be on the team you guys are the top Beaters." He stated with a shrug.

We had reached his front door and I was beaming. "Well, I guess this is goodbye, then." Charlie said sheepishly.

"Yeah, guess so. Thanks again, Charlie." I bounded up beside him and did something that I never thought I would do. I kissed his cheek.

As soon as I did this I froze and apparently, so did he. We stood there for a while just staring at each other. I felt the crimson rise to my face with a quick blaze of heat and, I noticed, Charlie's ears had turned a shade of pink.

I gave him an ashamed grin mixed with horror as I stammered, "I got to go. Bye." I turned and sprinted back to my house.

I didn't stop when Tanner tried talking to me just inside the front door, I didn't stop when I blitzed through the living room and my mother called my name. I only did stop when I flung myself on my bed.

Something is seriously wrong with me today. I have a problem.

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AN- Ok, my typically large review answers are going to be joined by HPB spoilers! (those will be at the very end)

_Jillie- Aw, thanks! I know, I WAS going to make Charlie all sweet and kind and innocent. But where's the fun in that? LOL. BUT he will get better, don't worry._

_GinnyGin- Funky bamboo, eh? (grins) I need to get me some of that BAMBOO! Oh, yes. Charlie and Yeshia-ness. This chapter was fairly good with that wasn't it? Because, you know, basically the whole chapter is about them. LOL_

_Limegoodness- I know this wasn't soon, but was it good enough? I was kind of stuck with writers block. (shrugs) share your thoughts lol._

_Ri0t-Gal- Thanks! ;) lol. I hope you like Charlie and Yeshia in this chapter too!_

_Celi- (happy) another review! Thank you!_

_Hottie-with-a-Body- Oh, look who it is. Sarah. Fiddles with pen. I could stick THIS up your bum but (hears shuffling in background) (holds something in hand and quick as lighting shoves cinnamon hearts up your nose) AHA! I win! Can't call me that anymore when you're in PAIN**! Muwahahahaha**_

_Beth- awesome! The drama is coming… it just takes a while to get here! LOL._

_Sammie-b- Ok, the drama will be here in no time! LOL._

_PoplarMonster- Thanks! I can't wait 'till you update too! LOL. Well, I had a couple chapters done before I posted, so that makes it easier._

_Rachelleshel- lol. It's fine You don't really HAVE to review, anyway, it's just feels GREAT when people do. LOL. I hope you had fun on your trip and I can't wait 'til you catch up!_

_Andie- Thanks, I hope this came out soon enough!_

_Plzthx101- Hahaha! Thanks! LOL. I doubt I'm this is the best Charlie fic. So many people are more talented writers then moi. (little bit of French for you lol) I hope you continue reading! I loved your review!_

_**HBP SPOILERS! CAUTION!**_

**Ok, first I'd like to touch on the fact that there was only maybe about TWO mentions of Charlie! What was that?**

**Ships-**

**H/R- Wasn't everyone laughing and rolling their eyes when reading the parts about all these two's antics? I know I was. I think we could all predict their relationship.**

**H/G- I knew it would happen, though I never wanted it to. I mean, it's weird. They don't suit each other at all. Not to mention her uncanny resemblance to Lily and Harry's to James. Wouldn't that freak you out knowing you two looked like your dead parents?**

**R/T- I knew THIS was going to happen too. Urg. I was wishing it wouldn't with all my heart. REMUS IS MINE! It's also because I can't picture those two together. (Remus, come on… Sirius was your best friend and now you're doing his little cousin?)**

**Was anyone else getting the vibe JKR was trying to kill all ships?**

**Theories-**

**RAB- Could this be Sirius' brother? Regulas Alphard Black? Is the locket they found in # 12 GP the REAL locket? Remember, when they were cleaning up in OoTP they found a locket that wouldn't open.**

**Snape Good VS Evil- Ok, I would like to view the possibilities. 1) Snape is a stupid evil bastard that decisive and baffled everyone. This is the theory I went with in vain after I read the book. OR 2) Snape is not evil but extremely loyal and brave. Dumbledore doesn't plead. Why would he plead to Snape when he could have pleaded for his life to any of the DE? He must have known about the unbreakable vow he had taken and wants Snape to live. But, if that IS the case, what good is Snape if no one knows he's good? He could help Harry with Voldemort at the end. Is this the reason why Dumbledore and Snape were fighting? Because Dumbledore wanted Snape to kill him when the time comes? Face it, Snape always had great respect for Dumbledore and wouldn't start to argue with him just for nothing. And If he WAS with Voldemort he would be ordered NOT to argue with DD but befriend him and stay as close as possible.**

**Unless I'm reading to far into things… So many questions!**

**(pantpant) Ok, I've waited since I finished the book to tell that! FINALLY! Breath.**

**I know, I can never compete with JK. But I love my story like my own baby. LOL, ok. That was a little extreme.**

**PS- HOW MANY PPL DID I TELL THAT DUMBLEDORE WAS GOING TO DIE? I WIN, sadly, BUT I DO WIN! (I was basically crying through the end of the book)**

REVIEW! REVIEW! AND I WILL DANCE LIKE I'M STUCK IN A TUBA!


	11. Can you say, Self Pity?

_Disclaimer-_ _**-thinks- **right, I'm missing my flare for snappy disclaimers so "Not mine" will have to do._

AN- DA DUM! Another chapter brought to you by yours truly… made both readable and enjoyable by my Beta Lynn! (Thanks! Gives cookies) Anywho, sorry for the wait. I'll (hopefully) have another chapter out shortly. But I'm going to the Sun Shine Coast in an hour and a half, so chances are I'll get it done by about Tuesday, but posted is another story. REVIEW! It makes me feel good inside! I don't really care if it's a flame either! Plus I know for a fact there are a hell of a lot of you who aren't reviewing! I have near 3000 hits for this story! (hurrah!) Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!

Quote of the Day- 

"_Pull the pin and count to what?"-Famous last words, brought to you by Lynn, My special Beta!_

---To Babysit Charlie---  
Can you say, Self Pity?

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I've begun to seriously consider creating a noose out of my socks. Kissing Charlie of all people, what was I thinking? I've been lying sprawled on my bed for two days straight, since I flopped onto it after doing the unthinkable act. I only leave when absolutely necessary, to use the loo or eat something to avoid starvation.

Motionless, is a word that could be used to describe me. All I've been doing is dwelling on the fact that I've kissed _Charlie Weasley_ and, well, staring at my extremely uninteresting ceiling. Ok, think, think, think. It could be all a big nightmare. It didn't really happen. I could be mentally deficient from heat stroke. There are so many options that COULD be a reasonable excuse. Well, maybe not reasonable but excuses non-the less.

The SHAME! I must be insane, like the octopus that thought it could become a dentist. I may be overdramatic, BUT that's perfectly normal considering the traumatic event I've bestowed upon myself.

I shifted ever so slightly and my focus is captured by water damage that I've never noticed before. Urg. Well, that's depressing. It's a big blob-like orangey-yellow stain just a foot away from over my bed. Being myself I became the blob and I also became all philosophical and thought life is like the water stain on my bedroom ceiling; big, yellow and you can only get rid of it if you replace the ceiling. Ok, so maybe I can't rival Gandhi but boredom has over come me and the only other thing to do is clean. Naturally I picked looking at the pee like substance, pondering if it was symbolism of my life.

"Yeshia?" A timid voice ventured into my room. Huh. It's Lucy, what's she doing here?

My answer was to continue to gaze at the blob. I tilted my head to the right and it started to resemble a turkey.

Slowly Lucy pushed open my door, walked in and shut with a light snap. "Tanner called. He says you've not coming out."

"How does Tanner know your number?" I asked the first thing that popped into my head as I frowned.

She ignored my question and asked her own, "What's up?" She casually sat at the end of my bed and began to try and decipher the yellow mess above us.

"Water damage." I said stupidly.

Lucy rolled her eyes as she lay down beside me, "I mean, WHY haven't you left your room?"

"The world is a scary place." I informed her in a solemn voice.

"Yeah, how so?"

"I dunno." I shrugged.

"What'd you do?" her accusing inquiry was accompanied by a sigh.

"Hey," I replied swinging my hand in her general direction. "What makes you think I did anything?" Even though I did.

"I just know you." Lucy answers smoothly.

I sighed and after a brief moment of silence I said, "I kissed him."

Lucy let out an excited gasp and sat up, "WHO? Was it Bill?"

I shook my head.

"God help me, Steph?"

I shook my head.

"Dennis?"

No.

"Shane?"

No.

" Angus? Alex? Matt? Tre-" She gasped and smiled with a demonic smile. "_Charlie_."

I didn't do anything and she took it as a yes.

"Oh my God!" She squawked.

Where did my friend go? Have aliens landed on the Earth; have they abducted my best friend? I started to get nervous and then realized that it was only my over active imagination. See, this is what happens when you have spent too much time trapped in a room.

"Is he a good kisser?" She asked leaning in a bit.

"How should I know? It was on the cheek." I stated, frowning.

Lucy looked a little put out. " All this," she gestured to the room, "because you kissed a bloke on the cheek? Pathetic."

"But it was Charlie!" I whined covering my face with my hands, "Remember Charlie? Stupid git, egotistical jerk - fart head?" I added just in case she might have thought I was mature.

"So, what are you planning to do?"

"Well, I was toying with the idea of hanging myself with my socks…" I drifted off.

"Wouldn't that be a little hard?" She asked twirling her PERFECT brunette locks.

I shrugged, "No, I have knee socks." I informed her.

"Uh, well then, I'll leave you to it." She bounced up, standing in the midst of my extremely messy floor.

"LUCY!" I pleaded like the suckling I know I am. "DON'T you know what I've done!" I was now running my hands through my hair rapidly.

"Quick question." I nodded for her to continue and took a rest at assaulting my hair, "What stupid piece of information did you give him after you did it?" She grinned at me.

I threw my pillow at her and thought back to the fateful night. With a burst of energy of self-pride I quickly jumped on the bed pumping my fists in the air while doing the running man dance move. "I DIDN¡¦T!" I yelled when Lucy came up on my bed to join me, "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

Lucy laughed and said, "Then, what did you do?"

I stopped suddenly, like someone had just jabbed my off button, and slouched back into a sitting position, "I ran away." I said miserably.

"That's on the less romantic side." She stated, still standing on my bed.

I scowled, "It wasn't meant to be _romantic_." Lucy let out a snort. "It was meant as _thanks_."

"Thanks for what?"

"He said he'd save me a spot on the Quidditch team."

"That was nice of him." Lucy said. She looked genuinely surprised, judging by the way her eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah, I know. So I must have been a tad overly zealous when I thanked him." I grimaced at the memory. "How am I going to face anyone again?" I wondered absently how I would react when I get a job somewhere. Would I kiss them too? Or would I be so happy as to flash them? Oh, God. I'm a mess.

"Yesh." She sighed and sat down beside me, laying a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Everyone does these things."

"I just do it more often then others." I growled in a low voice.

"Don't be stupid." She paused for a moment. "Would it make you feel better if I smooch the next guy we see?"

I gave her a puzzled look. "Yes actually it would. But that's not exactly a great idea, seeing as my brother is the only guy here."

She grinned. "No, he's not. Bill and Charlie are with him."

"What!" I yelped.

"Wanna go downstairs?"

Suddenly adrenalin was pumping through me as I felt myself nod. What if she had to kiss Bill? Surely she would go through with it. Tanner? Yeah right, Lucy would probably be sick. (Or at least I would) Charlie? Something inside of me squirmed at the thought of those two kisses. What if it started a wonderful relationship? What if they get married and have a billion kids, like Weasley tradition? Not that it would matter to me. I'm just saying, I'd feel dreadfully sorry for Luce.

As we began to walk downstairs Lucy was having a loud one-sided conversation with me and it got even louder as we entered the kitchen. Lucy laughed and then was slightly disappointed when there was nobody there. I however, could not be happier. I started to unpack things from the fridge to make a sandwich. Sand Witch. I snickered to myself as I prepared a dozen Sand Witches. I have absolutely no idea why I find that so funny. I placed all the sandwiches on a large plate and was going to take it into the living room when somebody walked into the kitchen. I held my breath.

Tanner walked into the kitchen I glanced at Lucy with a horrified expression. She was going to have to kiss my brother. YACK! Slowly Lucy glided toward my brother and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a huge bloody kiss on the lips! I'd like to share some facts with you (1) Lucy now turned it into a French kiss (2) Tanner wasn't pulling away, in fact, he wrapped his arms around her waist! I mean, after he got over his shock, he just dived right in!

Bill and Charlie both bypassed Tanner and were now standing in side the kitchen with the same facial expression as my self, flabbergasted. I finally had enough sense to smack Lucy on the back of the head.

"What the hell?" Was all that exited my mouth.

"Hmm?" Lucy said smiling from ear to ear. She looked around at our bewildered faces and simply shrugged. "I told you I'd do it."

All the faces turned to me with raised eyebrows. "What?" I snapped.

"You had a bet or something about your best mate kissing your brother?" Charlie inquired.

I instantly felt queasy, but why? I have no idea. I managed a shy smile before turning away. "No." -And the stupid squeaky voice is back.- "She was t-trying to make m-me feel better."

"By kissing your brother?" Bill questioned, clearly confused.

"No. She was supposed to- oh, God I don't know." I snarled.

"But I do know this day is shit." With that, I held my head high and stomped into my bedroom, again contemplating the sock/noose idea.

I merely was lying on my bed blaming the water damage above me. "It's your fault." I murmured to it, "all your fault. You should have warned me."

_Knock, Knock, Knock._

I let out a small 'Eek!' of surprise before flipping off my bed and landing in a tangle of sheets on the ground.

"Yeshia?" Damn. It was Charlie, stupid wanker. "You okay?"

"What are you doing here?" I muttered trying, in vain, to get my self out of the knot of bedding.

"Sor- Sorry. I didn't think we should go you here without telling you we were leaving." He paused. "Where are you?" I could picture him scratching his head in confusion.

"Around."

"No, really, where are you?"

"In my room."

"Well, that's obvious."

"I'll give you a hint, numb nuts. It's not by magic that the ball of sheets on the side of my bed is moving." I sneered.

"Oh, right. Are you stuck?" He asked, approaching.

Oh my God. Is this guy THAT dense? "No, Charlie, I love to spend my time rolled like a joint that's so tight I can't breath." I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt, hoping that he would get the picture mentally.

"Did you just roll your eyes?"

Success!

"Could you help, maybe?" I snapped.

I could feel him pulling one side of the sheets and _WHOOMP_! I was out and tumbling across the floor.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I stood and dusted myself off.

"No problem. I'd -er- better get going." He ruffled his copper hair without warning he walked up to me and kissed me on the check. Blushing would be an understatement. I know I was bright red and his ears were most defiantly pink.

"Yeah, you better get going." I whispered as he quickly pulled away and rubbed the back of his neck before he turned around and jogged out of the room.

When he was gone I brushed the spot where his lips had been, it was burning- a good kind of burning. I smiled to my self as I ran my fingers through my hair.

I guess, today, I could skip the noose idea. After all, there is always tomorrow.

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**Hey, look. Replies! First I'd like to say. Lion King has some catchy songs and if someone has a way to rid me of the constant symphony of Disney tunes blaring in my brain, let me know!**

**Second, I would like to say how hard it is to dance like you're stuck in a tuba. Very. I tried for every review I received, I'm sorry to say but the witnesses say it looked more like I was stuck in a vacuum. (sigh) I'm terribly sorry for letting you down… (goes away to drown self in dog's bowl)**

_Veela's Charm- I know, I never really gave Percy a chance after he became such a prick in the original Harry Potter. Thanks for reviewing! (grins)_

_Ri0t-Gal- Slow and steady wins the race… yeah? Maybe not but I don't think it would be right if I just made them snog senselessly. (shrug) Though it would be fun to write…_

_Ellilyo- Ooo, that is a good point… I never really considered that. I refuse to believe he's dead! It's just not the same without him! Anyway, thanks for your review. (grins)_

_Flukey- I KNOW! (though I hate to admit it) But he HAS to be! I wrote a one shot about them… I don't know if you'd want to read it. I wish you luck, because dancing like you're stuck in a tube is easier said than done! LOL_

_GinnyGin- (sigh) I struggled but in the end I failed miserably. Apparently it looked like I was stuck in a vacuum… Yes, I agree with you there. He is very complex and I think/hope JK will explain it further in the next book. Ok, and my Beta is BACK! (Cheers in background) I hope you found this a little easier to read…_

_Beth- lol. Who didn't love that? Won-won. I was giggling when I read it, and I just HAD to re-re-re-read it. I hope you liked this chapter too!_

_Poplarmonster- I've updated again! Hurrah. I hope you update soon, you left me hanging in the last chapter! NEED MORE! Yes, yes. I failed to dance like I'm stuck in a tuba, however it seems I looked like I was in a vacuum instead… lol._

_Sammie-b- lol. I can't help think there is more to Snape that we will find out in the next book… I can't wait! I have no idea why I made up rag-doll s. it was totally spontaneous. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Celi- I obviously don't know how to dance like I'm stuck in a tuba, cuz apparently I looked more like I was stuck in a vacuum. I hope you like this chapter too!_

_Milkshake gone bad- lol. I loved your review! Totally awesome. Actually I really do have my Xmas lights up… but mostly because I hate dark places and I love to look extremely weird:D I'd like to say I'm kidding…_

_XreaX- lol. Thanks for read AND reviewing I hope you like this chapter too!_


	12. Cucumbers, Rotten Fish and Sex Lives

_Disclaimer- Honestly, if I didn't own it for the last eleven chapters I doubt I own it now…_

**AN- Right, I know for a fact that this is longer then I usually make my chapters, actually it was suppose to be two chapters but I mashed them together. Thanks to all of you who review, it makes my life so much easier. My goal is to reach one hundred reviews! Sorry if this chapter was a bit too long…**

_**This Chapter is un-beta-ed because I was too excited about the chapter AFTER this one to wait for my Beta's beta-ed chapter. (Sorry) But you'll love me forever!**_

**Quote of the Day-**

"_I love you like a fat kid loves cake." – ME! (hurrah)I read this somewhere…_

---To Babysit Charlie---

Cucumbers, Rotten Fish, and Sex lives

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Ok, I am taking a well-earned break, in my opinion. After locking myself in my room for two days I figured for the next day or two I was going to read, not that I particular enjoy it. My mom has about a million of those mushy muggle love stories and I decided that I should at least try and read one of them.

The story. Humph. It is the biggest amount of smutty dribble I've ever read, it makes me nauseous. _'Her skin was so soft as I left trails of heated, heart-filled kisses over her creamy flesh, she smells of peach and vanilla.'_ With that I threw the offending book as far as I possibly could.

In about .0034 seconds I hear an "Ow, Yesh. What the hell?" I let out a shriek of surprise. I had completely forgotten I was sitting out side on one of our lawn chairs. (Guess what colour? Yeah, peach.)

"Charlie what are you doing here?" The idea of what I was reading making me blush from head to toe as I watch him retrieve the book that had hit him in the chest from the ground.

"Um, my mum wanted me to check to see if you're still alright with babysitting tonight, are you?" He asked as he handing the book back to me. We hadn't talked since I called it a quits on the 'lock down' idea of mine, aka when he kissed me - on the cheek. Now, it was really awkward, like severely awkward. He was standing there, not really making eye contact while rocking on the balls of his feet. Meanwhile I was sitting, picking at the peach chair, avoiding any type of visual connection, staring just over his shoulder.

"If I changed my mind I would have flooed, yeah?" I shrugged and the tension eased a smidge.

"Guess so." He paused for a moment, we were both trying to think of something to say. "Um- why'd you throw the book?" he inquired lightly rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I dunno. It's stupid, really. Why do these kind of books always have ridiculous descriptions? _'She smells of peach and vanilla.'_ Does anyone really smell like vanilla? I mean did their mum digest the flower before they were born?" By the way, I'm hardly thinking of the things that happen to be pouring out of my mouth. "There's nothing like _'she smelt of cow pies and rotten fish but I love her anyways.'_ I sure bloody well don't smell like vanilla."

"No, you don't" Was Charlie's response.

My eyebrows shot up as my eyes flashed, "And what, Weasley, is that supposed to mean?" I stood in my full high in attempt to look intimidating, though I am still shorter then him.

"I didn't mean it like that!" He said quickly, backing up a few paces.

"What DO I smell like, then?" I narrowed my eyes in a way that says, be honest but if you're too honest I'll blow your balls off.

"Er- Cucumber?" He said weakly with an apologetic grin.

"CUCUMBER? What is THAT! Cucumber? Do you go around smelling cucumbers all day? How do you even know the smell of a cucumber?" I bellowed waving my hands around menacingly. "Oh my God, Charlie! What the hell?"

"What, you asked. Ok, you smell a little like melons too." Right now, he has one foot in a grave and the other on a banana peal.

"MELONS AND CUCUMBER!" My nose was flaring as I thrust the book at him and it fell on the ground. "Now I realize that these books aren't for girls, but for blokes who are completely moronic!"

"Someone say Melons?" Tanner asked as he trotted outside into the middle of my rant.

"Great! Fantastic!" I seethed throwing my hands out wildly "Tanner what do you think I smell like?"

He paused for a moment, obviously thinking about the bizarre question. "Rotten fish, but I love ya anyways!" he said with a cheeky grin.

Charlie and I looked at each other and burst into a buzz of laughter. Tanner raised an eyebrow, shook his head and retreated back inside the house. After a while our snickering died down and we were left in a surprisingly comfortable silence.

I faced my copper haired companion and gave him a childish grin. "So, should we head to your house?"

"Sure, do you want to walk?" he asked innocently.

"Er- actually, I'd rather take floo." I slapped him on the back and he gave me a 'Weasley's lop sided smile' and we headed into my peach and white living room.

"So…" He said once we sat down and I handed him a glass of Lemon Aid. (Home made, thank you very much!)

"Yeah…Cucumbers, hey?"

"I never said it was a bad thing."

"But cucumbers?"

"Ehem…. So have you talked to Lucy lately?" He cleared his throat roughly.

"Actually, no. Not since she snogged my brother." I said, not meaning to sound as bitter as I did. Technically it WAS her idea… not that she knew that Tanner would be the first one she saw but it was STILL her idea.

He had an odd expression on his face. I couldn't quite place the emotion. "Yeah, why did that happen anyway?"

"She –er- was trying to make me feel better…"

"By kissing your brother?"

"No, by kissing the first guy she saw."

"And that helps you, how?"

"I dunno." I said nervously biting the insides of my cheek, as the outsides burned with crimson. Well, it's not like I'm going to tell him because I was morbidly embarrassed about kissing his cheek.

"Right, well then… should we floo now?"

"Yeah, I guess." I put both of our glasses on the coffee table. After getting ready to floo. (ie, the twins gift, which is cellophane) I turned to Charlie. "Why didn't you floo over, I mean to ask me about babysitting?"

"It's better to walk, innit?" He shrugged and smiled, so the edge of his eyes cringle.

I smiled back at him and threw the powder into the flames and I was gone from my house and into the Burrow. I met a flustered Molly as I casually walked into the Weasley's living room.

"Hello Yeshia, dear. Charlie find you all right?" She asked as she bustled off into the kitchen. The serving spoon in her hair -that I'm assuming kept it in a bun- and the half on/half off apron is not usually a good sign. Her velvet lilac robes were starting to stain with what I hope is spaghetti sauce and her face was colorfully flushed.

"Yes, Molly, he did. Need any help?" I asked as I followed her into the kitchen.

"No thank you dear! I can manage." Ok, when she has an 'everything is just dandy' voice that is excessively cheerful THAT is how you know everything is clearly not dandy.

"Is anything wrong, Molly?" I asked tenderly trying to avoid an explosion.

She dropped the pan she was now coating with some sort of batter with a clatter. "I've had a trying day, is all."

"What's wrong?" I tried to put on an I'm-really-mature-so-you-came-tell-me-anything tone. But I failed miserably and I sounded more like a pubescent male.

"Oh I don't want to bother you dear…" Clearly she was dieing to tell someone her problem and –possibly- she didn't want to tell her sixteen year-old neighbor who helps her out with babysitting.

"It's ok, you would never bother me." I used my 'kill you with kindness' smile that resembles (or I hope it does) the doe like quality everyone is going on about.

Molly sighed, apparently debating whether she could wait and get a hold of my mother or not, but with me smiling at her so innocently she gave in. "Well, dear, I'm sure you know all about sex and such…" At this point my smile had completely vanished. "You see, it's when two people who love each other-" I know my face must be the shade of a tomato by now because my skin is scorching.

"Ehem, Molly." I said weakly, but cutting her off non-the less. "It's ok, you need not explain. I know what it is."

"Right, I seemed to have got Bill in a rather embarrassing situation last night."

Phew, it was only Bill. WAIT, BILL! No, no, no, NO! –You see I actually had this crazy idea Bill was saving himself for me, like I am for him…- I'm hearing this wrong! This is defiantly not happening.

But Molly, unaware of my inward dilemma, continued as though this was merely an extremely uncomfortable discussion. "He apparently had company last night and neglected to tell either Arthur or myself, so I was picking up the laundry from the kids rooms and Bill had put the silencing charm on his door but evidently forgot to put a locking spell and so-"

"The rest is history?" I asked hopefully my face was half grimacing and half horrified.

"Yes, well. I managed to catch Bill with his pants down, literally." She, again, attempted to pour some more batter in the pan but was so fluster started to drain her Olive Oil into her pan instead.

Merlin, there are so many things a sixteen year-old never wants to hear, EXAMPLE- your crush was in mid-shag when his own mother walks into the room… and he wasn't even in mid-shag with you! Not that that would have made it less traumatizing but at least you would have been the one with him, right?

TA DUM! Someone finally decides to exist to stop this terribly unwieldy conversation. Damn. It was Charlie, he will have to do, for now. "Charlie!" I heard myself surge before I practically threw my own body into him.

"Hey." He said giving me a surprised/odd/almost glad smile. "You know we were just talking like five minutes ago, yeah?"

"mhmm!" I chirped as I whisper urgently, "Pleeease get me out of here!"

He looked fairly bemused yet amused as he half nodded and dragged me out of the kitchen. "And that was about?"

"Oh my God!" I said in a hurried undertone, "I never want to know what goes on in this house that doesn't involve me!" I hissed, while dancing around with a disgusted expression, rather dramatically; as in wiping my hands on my green shorts and doing knee ups at the same time.

"Why, what mum say?" He gave me a perplexed look.

"Let's just say, I now know about Bill's sex life." I mumbled.

Charlie cracked a large and goofy smile and shot to drown his chortle. "What's the matter? Don't like him anymore?"

I visibly glowed at his words. Ok, who didn't know I like Bill? And further more, did Bill himself know? If he did why couldn't he just shut me down, or, preferably, ask me out? I scowled at him. "Don't like him anymore?" I mimicked him with a cruel imitation and a high voice.

Though he only laughed harder and, well, I scowled harder. "I'm Charlie! I like Quidditch and would gladly shag anything with a pulse!" I mocked standing up tall and walking around in a circle eager to appear like Charlie.

"I'm Yeshia, I love Bill but I still go out with that insufferable twat, Steph!" He imitated me with a brutal girly tone while prancing about on the spot. I huffed and flipped him the bird as I stalked out.

"Sod off, you bloody wanker." I muttered as I went upstairs to look for the identical scoundrels know as Gred and Feorge, to give them their gift that I had inadvertently forgotten about. "Hey guys, what'cha up to?" I casually question as I slip into the twins' den of a room.

"Nothing!" They say in unison, which meant the ARE up to something.

"Nothing?" I repeat raising my eyebrows, giving them time to devise a plan to hide whatever they weren't doing. I'm not entirely sure I want to know what they've done.

Each had replicated grins appeared. Their freckled faces are the picture of virtue… something they unmistakably have had to practice. I shudder inwardly at what they could have produced or what is in the making.

Never trust a pair of children with sapphire eyes and ginger hair they always are trouble, well at least these two are. "Yup!" They nodded enthusiastically.

"Exactly that! Nothing-" Gred said smiling from ear to ear.

"-Nothing all! Now, Yishy Mishy Mash-a, what can we do for you?" Said Feorge.

"I believe we have some business with the lady, do we not, Fred?"

"I suppose you are right, George." –I just love it when twins do this, it's extremely cool and kind of eerie…

"Like always!" They both beamed looking both pure at heart but awfully evil at the same time.

"Er- right. Well, here you are." I quickly handed over the cellophane.

"And this is?" One of them inquired, I'm pretty sure it was Fred.

"It's cellophane. Muggles use it all the time." I bit my lip it was like they had mob mentality or something. "Very useful."

"Huh," I think this was George, "How would we use it for pranks?" It's scaring how industry like two seven year-olds can be.

"Um- well, you can put it over the toilet bowl and -since you can't really see it when pulled tight- you can image the mess it would cause." I explained and both their faces lit up like light bulbs. "So, we have a deal? No pranks on me today? You actually listen?"

"Sure thing!"

"Always a pleasure, Yeshia, my dear!" They smirked before they ushered me out of their office –er- I mean room.

I let out a chime of hilarity once I was down the hall and tried to muffle the sounds coming out of my mouth. My life is SO weird! I continued my tour for the Weasley's abode, though I already know I like the back of my hand… not that I constantly look at the back of my hand or anything.

When I hit the second floor, the twins had the second LAST floor in the house, I reached Ginny's room and thought I owed the youngest Weasley a visit. "Ginny?" I asked quietly as I wandered into the small room, and smiled softly as I saw the small girl asleep in mid drawing. A felt was resting on the child's cheek so there was now a red smudge smeared across her face. I lidded all the colors before gently picking up the copper hair wonder.

"Gin, Gin?" The small girl stirred and her eyes fluttered open a frown creased her forehead before her eyes lit up like the fourth of July.

"YISHY!" She cried waving her hands around, telling me forcefully to put her down apparently she wanted to show me something and it was an emergency. She scuttled over to the artwork, still shaking off the sleep. "Look!" it was big, swirled figures, which were very hard to identify and not wanting to offend the girl I simply gasped as I sat down beside her.

"Beautiful!" I said in my best awe-like voice clapping my hand onto my cheeks -over emotional behavior is needed, of course.

Ginny's hopped from one foot to the other grinning contently. "For you!" She said, as if it was unbelievable she was even THINKING of giving it away.

"Oh my goodness, thank you so much Ginny!" I stashed it away in one of my handy dandy pockets on my forest green trunks. Oh, yes. I referred to my shorts as trunks. "Should we go downstairs?"

She made a sour face and shook her head. "No, I's want to stay here and drawed!"

"Alright-y, I'll meet you downstairs when you're done, yeah?" I asked with an optimistic tone. She nodded furiously before returning to find her felts that I had just collected.

"Yeshia?" Molly's voice called from no doubt the kitchen as it echoed through the house.

I snapped out of my dazed trance of boredom and ran down toward the carroty haired woman. She beamed as she saw me rushing and clear the last five steps. "Well, dear, I'm going to be meeting Arthur there. So I will be going. I trust you can get Bill or Charlie to use the oven, like always."

I scowled inwardly. My mum had not spared my feelings and told everyone she knew about me blowing up the toaster.

"No problem, Molly." I reassured her. It's amazing how a person can become hot to cold in the matter of moments. Molly was wearing a mint colour robe and her hair was up in a –er- less messy bun with no spoon.

"You know where to get a hold of me, then?"

"Werewolf's Tail and Unicorn's Horn." I stated and she nodded in approval.

"Exactly. I guess I'll be off… Ron get out of there." She snapped before she disappeared with a pop.

I frown, "Ron?" I asked uncertainly. A small ginger haired boy tumbled out of one of the small cabinets and gave me a bashful smile.

Babysitting… Urg.

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**I swear, next chapter things will heat up. I've had a number of people comment on how slow Yeshia and Charlie are… Do you realize she always hated Charlie and is slowly getting the drift of things? She's only now, unconsciously, considering Charlie anything more than a pest. Notice how now she only insults him when she's in a bad mood, instead of all the time?**

**_I just thought I'd clarify that. Anyway, as I said, if heat is what you've been waiting for, the next chapter is for you!_**

Replies!

Ri0t-GaL- It's a good thing you like a slow pace because this is going extremely slow. (grins) I'm evil! But things will heat up next chapter… a lot. Also the first bit of drama will make an appearance.

Milkshake gone bad- Are you aware of how entertaining your reviews are? I love them!

SpikesDreamer- Hello! (bashful grin) You read me story! YES! I swear Disney Land tries to brain wash people! No? It's just me then? The three days went surprisingly fast, and I WAS going to read your Buffy fic but I would have no idea what was going on so I decided against it. LOL, thanks for reviewing!

404- lol. I know, slow. Well, NEXT CHAPTER there will be more, I swear. You will feel the drama and it will be out fairly soon, too! (grins) I know, I'm so cruel to Yesh… I'm evil!

LazyLibra- Ok… well considering I don't think I can stand on my head I skipped that part and just begun singing yellow submarine. Unfortunatly, now, I have THAT song stuck in my head… it's a never ending CIRCLE! (runs away shouting WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE, A YELLOW SUBMARINE!)

Sammie-b- lol, at my last house I had a water stain above my head, and it was my inspiration for the one I wrote about… it's amazing how many shapes one can turn into in the right light, eh?

When-turtles-strike-back- I have to say you have one of the coolest pen names ever! I love turtles… and frogs. I thought you might want to know that random piece of information. ANYWAY, thanks for your review! (grins)

Panther1026- Thank you! I love hearing that! I hope you like this chapter as well!

Plzthx101- (blush) Geeze, you know how to enlarge ones ego, don't you? Thank you so much for the compliments! I was tickled pink with your review!

Abnoxious-obsession- lol. I was so glad when I read your review! I was laughing through the entire thing… I love the flash light bit. Thanks! Do it! Write your own fic! It's SO much fun! Just make sure you are always one chapter ahead when you post… I seemed to have made that mistake with all my stories and now I'm left rushing around to try and get chapters done! Ah, well I sent you this chapter… so I don't know if you'll bother reading this… Sorry about not waiting. (sheepish grin)

Beth- lol. The lovin' was on a down slid in this chapter, wasn't it? LOL, but I swear the next chapter is better!

Jessi- Update soon? What does that even mean? (blinks) Oh! You mean the thing I find completely impossible? Ah, yes. Will do! LOL, thanks for reviewing!

Flukey- lol, thanks for reading my other fic too. I want to write another, what do you think? Lucy and Tanner… Surprisingly I'm not quite sure what to do with those two. BUT I will make up my mind and you will see what will happen. (hopefully)

Nicole- Aw, me write a wonderful story? (blushes) I'll keep writing as long as people keep reviewing! (determined face)


	13. Dragon Dung Can Do You Good

**AN-Someone was talking to me about a drawing I made of Yeshia and I got an idea, (ding) If anyone out there would like to, I would be delighted to have you draw pictures of the characters in the story… if you want.**

**I have a job from 6 AM to about 6:30 pm so I might be slower on the updating… not to mention I'm in the middle of moving at the moment. Fun. Just thought I'd give you a heads up. Oh, yeah I was seriously considering ending the entire story after this and starting a sequel but that just wouldn't flow properly so there IS more.**

"_Passing gas is like winning the lottery, it feels so good"- Ashley (reviewer from my other story!)_

---To Babysit Charlie---

Dragon Dung Can Do You Good

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"Tanner, you GIT!" I screamed as Tanner yanked off my quilt when I was sleeping. SLEEPING! You'd think the boy has never heard of it before! I WAS dreaming of my Knight in Shinning armor, made of milk chocolate, rescuing me from the horrid castle of spinach and broccoli.

"Yesh! I WANT to know!" It was presently only three days after babysitting and Tanner has been asking me non stop if I had talked to Lucy and apparently he want to make it a ritual of waking me up at ungodly hours- that's right it's 10:30 AM!

Babysitting. Actually, it went moderately well. I only had to bear dealing with Charlie for about half an hour -I remember I had to ask him to work the oven- fifteen minutes of which he was laughing at me for not being allowed to use it on my own. Fred and George behaved fairly well; they only suggested a game of Quidditch using Ron as the snitch once. I sent Percy to his room because he had the gull to call ME snooty! Percy is the definition of snooty, it's like he was playing golf and somehow got the club whacked up his bum! Ginny and Ron only fought around a hundred times instead of the typical million and Bill didn't even show his face in the house at all.

"I don't know, Tanner. You're her snogging buddy, why don't YOU go and call on her then?" I snapped, trying to retrieve my blanket back from the evil clutches of Tanner the Daft.

"I am NOT!" He tried to sound offended but when I glanced up I noticed that he was, in fact, smirking like the world was going to end.

I snorted, rather unattractively, before ripping my sleeping device out of his hands. And with one swift movement he yanked the quilt off me, again, and threw it out my window. My eyes were as wide as saucers, and I let out a snarl before pouncing on Tanner.

'_Thank God I slept in shorts and a tank last night.' _was the thought that suddenly flooded into my brain as he untangled us and ran like a bat out of hell downstairs, with me trailing shortly behind him.

"You DOLT! Stupid bloody, er- SLEEP WRECKER!" I announced as we both tore out of the house and into the yard, too blurs of motion too quick for the eye to properly follow.

I'm not exactly sure when, but somewhere in the time I was imprudently chasing Tanner, I had managed to acquire a hammer. Now, I was screaming in a mad lib type language with a hammer swinging menacingly above my head while Tanner was running for dear life, evidently having forgotten he can disapperate.

Suddenly I hear a slight pop somewhere to my left, causing me to loose concentration in my attempt to turn Tanner into a bloody pulp. Steph was standing about three feet away from me, I felt increasingly foolish standing there with a hammer over my head, in mid gibberish sentence. I lowered my weapon and tried to discretely hide it behind my back while pasting an enormous 'You didn't just see that!' smile across my face.

"Hey!" I said quickly trying to avoid him asking what I had just been doing.

"Hey, Sweet Pea." Yuck. I hate those nicknames, disgusting. We need to talk. He added, as out of the corner of my eye I saw Tanner making his up to us like he hadn't been running away from his psycho kid sister.

"Right!" I said, still beaming like an idiot. "Bye Tanner." I stated to him viciously, just incase he didn't get the hint.

"Yesh, I don't think you guys need to talk in private." Tanner told me harshly.

"Like hell we don't." I snarled before taking Steph hand and wheeling him about so we were another ten feet away from Tanner and plastered the smile back on my face. "What'd you want to talk about?"

"What were you doing?" He inquired raising his eyebrows.

Damn.

"Playing Cowboys and Construction Workers?" I said meekly. "What was it you wanted?"

"Er- right. I don't think we should see each other anymore." I gaped visibly. I literally stared at the greasy smile ball in front of me with an open mouth.

"What?" I asked, completely offended. "Why not?"

Steph sighed, "I knew you were going to be difficult" Before continuing like we were having a cup of tea, "Simply because I can do better."

I felt completely aghast! My gaping was immediately changed to an absolutely appalled expression. "Excuse me?" I hissed in the most venomous words I have ever spoken. "This is rich coming from the slimiest arse of a bloke I have ever met. I can't even- WHO ARE YOU TO SAY YOU CAN DO BETTER?" I bellow before I could muster the strength to have any type of self-control. "YOU," I thrust a finger at him, poking him hard in the chest. "ARE COMPLETE TRASH! YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!" and before I can comprehend what I'm doing I threw the hammer that I still had behind my back, missing him by mere inches due to his swift duck.

He looked at me, utterly shocked, before he raised his hand and struck me hard on the face.

Ok, that hurt, a lot. As we all know I'm a fighter, and come hell or high water I was going to get this prick to wish he had never been born. I knew my face was going to be sore for at least a few days after this and I was NOT going to be the only one who has battle wounds. Before someone could yell you're being incredibly dumb, trying to beat up a bloke twice your size! I jumped on that boy like stink on a monkey.

I gave one clean punch straight on the nose and -success- there was blood everywhere. First I tackled him then I took hold of the front of his shirt and began pulling him up and down and up and down, each time hitting his head hard against the ground. (I was hoping to God that there was a rock or something right where his head was ricocheting.) You mess with the bull and you get the horns! I can't believe how much of a stress reliever this is.

If you ever get steamed just beat your boy -er- ex boyfriend senseless.

"You- feel- BIG- picking- on- a- girl- who's - two years- your- junior?" I interrogated as I punctuated every word with a violent gesture. Though on my last hit he got me good. The incompetent dolt actually managed to swing his fist, which hit me with force across the bridge of my right cheek. I let out an in raged scream before trying to rip his freaking head off.

To my displeasure I felt someone pulling me off the creep. I was flinging my arms and legs in every direction, hoping to have one last hit. Steph stood up in a quick movement and dusted himself off before approaching me with a furious expression. Though someone was still holding me back I was making a huge effort to get back into the game. Suddenly I hear the person behind me growl. "You touch her and you won't be having children in this life time."

"Let GO!" I snarled. It was Tanner who was preventing me from the attack. Steph seemed to consider his options before he disappeared with a pop. "Tanner, you moron!" For some erratic reason I started to cry.

I damned myself here and now by CRYING. Why, in the name of all that's holy, am I crying? I never really cry, at least not since my pet goose died, (Not that I really owned it or anything, I think it just forgot how to migrate and ended up living in our shed for three years.) and that was when I was five.

"Come on, Yesh, let's get you cleaned up." Tanner gently griped my shoulders, giving me a quick squeeze before leading me into our house. "He's not worth crying over." He stated once we were both in our living room with a glass of water and tissues.

"I am NOT crying because of him." I snapped before letting out a hiccup/sniffle, which made me sound like a hippo with sinus problems. "I could have killed him!" I sputtered.

"That's why I had to get you off of him. Murder wouldn't look good on ones record, right?" I managed a small smile. "There, you see, everything is going to be fine. Want me to make you some tea?"

"No thanks Tan. I think I'll take a walk though." I choked as I stood shakily and made my way over toward the door.

I hate when you cry and it feels as though someone has drained you of all your energy and you can't do anything except sniff up the snot that's pouring out of your nose and rub your already raw eyes.

"Do you want me to get Lucy for you?" He asked lightly as he walked after me.

I snorted and shook my tawny head, "I'd rather not witness another smooch, thank you."

"Er- right. You know that's never happened before. I swear."

"And that's why you feel the need to clarify that?" I trailed off before making my way into one of the vast fields.

Did you know a half an hour walk a day is supposed to make you feel better, mentally and physically? Yeah right. With all the walks I take you'd think I should be feeling amazing. I unconsciously made my way to the Burrow (out of habit, I think) and when Molly opened the door she gasped for so long I thought she was going to pass out from the lack of air.

"MY GOODNESS!" She exclaimed as she ushered me inside to the kitchen. "Yeshia, dear, what in the name of Merlin has happened?"

I felt some more hot tears streak down my face and plop off my chin. Damn. I HATE crying in front of people, but the stupid tears won't stop, no matter how hard I will them to cease.

"Come now. You sit here and we can have a little girl talk. Cooking all ways helps!" She smiled warmly as she placed me on a small chair next to the oven, my mouth twitched upward at her forgetfulness.

"I'm not allowed to use anything in the kitchen, Molly." I sniffled with a slight smile playing on my lips.

"Right, well you can help me with the batter then." She used an apologetic tone, meaning that she'd rather just have me watch her do it all. Obviously she remembered I'm not exactly perfect and I happen to be quite clumsy.

My smile was slightly watery as let a small tinkle of a laugh escape. I let the whole fiasco about my once charming but always an arse ex boyfriend pour out of my mouth.

Molly helped quite a bit. She made me chuckle about her past experiences with men in her dating years, evidently before Arthur. Surprisingly she trusted me enough to make a batch of cookie batter, which I wrecked and I got it taken away from me.

After about an hour later I was stirring (as that's the only thing I've managed to not screw up) some cake batter when Molly and I heard some distinct signs of life. I watched a disgruntled Charlie walk into the kitchen, apparently he had just woken, with a plaid shirt that wasn't done up (which clashed horribly with his hair, not that I'm a fashion icon or anything) and light gray shorts.

"What the?" he said weakly as he did a double take, noticing I was there. I quickly tried to hide the yellowish-blue marks Molly had informed me about that cover the upper portion of my right cheek. He made his way over to me, squinting slightly he reached up and brushed my hair that I tried to flatten over my face in attempt to conceal the mark. The simple contact sent shivers up my spine. "What happened?" He asked in a hushed voice.

I shrugged and Molly bustled by with pursed lips. "That ridiculous boyfriend of hers is what happened." She huffed.

"He did this?" Charlie asked quietly still tracing his fingers over the bruise. I looked down in shame. I felt my eyes burn with tears again.

"Oh, Charlie, dear. Maybe you could show Yesh that ointment we have. I just have to get the twins to the Jordan's house. I'm taking Ron and Ginny too." With that she left the kitchen to collect her children.

Charlie's gaze caught mine again and that's when my tears started to fall. He looked so worried and that's what I wanted, for some reason. I felt so much better knowing that HE was worried. "Here." He said gently and held my hand before leading me upstairs. Once inside the bathroom he set me up on the counter before looking for the ointment.

I gave a hiccup as he pulled out the paste. "What's it made out of?"

"Dragon dung." He shrugged and said simply. I dodged the paste as he tried to put on my face.

"I-I," started with zealously, "am NOT putting _any_ type of dung on me."

"It will make the mark go away." He tried to negotiate while driving his finger, that's covered in the goop, at me.

"Charlie! I don't want crap on my face!" I screeched as I jumped off the counter and we began play Dragon Dung Tag while running around the loo, or at least he was trying to catch me as I ran for my life.

"Come on, Colgan, dragons are cool!" Charlie argued as I leapt around him.

"Great!" I said as he tried to catch me. "Maybe when you're older you can work with them, then you can cover yourself with their shit whenever you want to."

"Maybe I will."

"Good!"

With that Charlie lunged forward and we both fell back into the bathtub, but not before we got wrapped up in the pink shower curtain. We both started to laugh, as it were, he was now lying on top of me and we could hardly move. The only thing preventing from him squishing me was his forearms on either side of my head.

"OW!" I managed to say through gasps of air.

"What?" Charlie asked trying in vain to free us from the wrath of the shower curtain, but failing miserably.

"I think I'm lying on something." It was true, there was something sticking into the small of my back and it was very uncomfortable. Hopefully it's just a rubber ducky or something.

"Yeah, me too. It's kind of annoying, you know?" he said playfully. Charlie was grinning when I struggled and managed to get my hand out and cuff the back of his head. His eyes were twinkling and as blue as ever while his copper hair fell into his face. "Ok, ok. Here, one sec." He said, still laughing.

"What are you doing?" I asked quickly, and rather nervously, as he wriggled one arm under my back and pulled me close to him so our chests were VERY close.

"Shhh." He hushed and began to move his other arm under my lifted body and making odd pushing motions. "There." he announced before placing me back down. I was going to ask him what he had done when I realized he had moved the bath toy.

I smiled up at him, tears (thankfully) gone. "Thanks."

"No problem." He said and moved again so he could use his hand. Charlie lightly touched my cheek. "Why?"

I knew he was asking about the horrendous bruise that stretched down my cheek to my jaw. Yeah, I got a glimpse of it in the mirror. I shrugged. "I threw a hammer at him."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Is that some kind of new mating ritual I don't know about?"

"Um, actually, that's what happens when you're a git." The look on his face clearly said that he wanted more of an explanation. "He said I wasn't good enough." I said, entirely too fast, though he understood it anyway.

He shook his head like I had cursed Merlin himself. "What a wanker." He looked completely disgusted. When I looked away from him he said rather forcefully, "It's not true, Yesh."

I gave him a look that clearly said you don't know anything.

"I'm serious." He _looked_ sincere. But I scrunched up my nose instead, pretending I wasn't listening. I wasn't really going to ignore him, in case he, being sympathetic, started to give me compliments. Which every girl likes to hear.

"Sure." I said in tone of disbelief.

He sighed and became quiet. Damn. It didn't work. Geeze, Charlie, way to know when a girl is fishing for compliments.

"I have an idea." He said brightly. "But I need to ask a favor."

"Yeah?" What else was I going to do? It's not like I am enjoying lying here with him on top of me - well, not too much.

"You have to reach into my pocket," seeing my facial expression he continued, "Unless you want to be a human pancake."

"Right, ok. Which pocket, then?" I asked nervously.

"The right one." He blushed, and rightly so. The father south you go the tighter the curtain gets, which means my hand will be flush against his leg.

Fun.

"Ok. So, er, I'll just get it then?" I slowly found Charlie's body and hesitantly started to glide my hand toward his pocket. God, I hope I don't make a blunder.

He was looking anywhere but me as I finally sought out his leg and was still going achingly slowly toward the main target. His face and ears almost matched his hair, while I stayed, remarkably, a dull pink. "Want to speed things up?" he grumbled.

"Shut up." I snapped. "I know you like it." I hissed and, if possible, he turned several shade darker, he was RED now. "You _like_ it?" I said in shock before rummaging in his pocket and pulling out the item that was being searched for.

"Er, can I have my wand now?" He mumbled, obviously flustered.

"You're sick." I mumbled before handing it over, not looking at him. But in a weird way, I was impressed with my ability to have this affect on a male. He mutters a quick charm and the shower curtain split in two and we hastily got out of the tub and stood in an awkward silence for a while, before I decided to take action and leave the room. I opened the door in a rush and was rather surprised when I heard Charlie's voice.

"Yesh, wait." I turned around and he looked like he was having a mental debate, something I do quite a bit- and without a second to lose he made eye contact, strode up to me and kissed me.

I'm sure if this were a movie kiss the camera would be spinning wildly in circles around the couple and they would snog senselessly with Sweet Child of Mine playing melodramatically in the background.

But, seeing as my life is not a fairy tale. It was more like, his lips pounced onto mine, an electric shock shot through my body and all the while I was trying to comprehend what exactly was happening. Suddenly I have an overwhelming and alarming desire to talk. So, my lips were moving –not so romantically- before he even moved away. "…your girlfriend, Kitty?" was all I said that was comprehendible.

He looked as confused as I felt, or rather, am. Now he was the one who resembles a tomato. "We broke up, the day after the party."

Snooze Fest. I mentally corrected him.

"Decapitated Bunny Day?" I asked, completely aware that I was just trying to stray away from an awkward silence.

He chuckled lightly, though clearly still embarrassed, and nodded. "Someone enlightened me. Told me I was dating a moron." He said gruffly with a lop-sided grin, while rubbing the back of his neck. "Plus, I found I like someone else."

I hadn't noticed I was now looking at the floor as I tried to wrap my mind around the things he was telling me, and about what the hell is going on. My head snapped up and I looked into his eyes -crystal blue eyes- and he nodded the unspoken question, though I felt the need to clarify it.

"Me?" I asked weakly.

He smirked at me "You were always a smart one, Yesh."

I bit my lip before walking up to him and placing a hand on his cheek and I pinched it, hard. I finally realize _WHY_ people pinch other people's cheeks. It's not for the comfort of the other pupil but because it feels good, for you.

"Sod it." I whispered to my self, instead of thinking it, like I usually do- and I kissed him.

We were basically devouring each other as we stood there, in the Weasley's hallway. My hands had somehow found their way into his hair as his pulled me close to him around my waist.

"Ahem?" We jumped apart like the other was diseased and looked guiltily up at the person who had disturbed us. It was Bill and he looked absolutely tickled pink. "Sorry to interrupt."

Amusement was dancing in his chocolate eyes and I found that I no longer swooned at the sight at them. In fact, I took a step closer to Charlie and shyly laced my fingers with his own. I noticed that he was biting back a grin and I had to do the same.

Bill chuckled and wandered down the hallway, shaking his head while by passing us.

'_Isn't it funny how perfect life can be?'_ was the only thought that I possessed that didn't contain Charlie.

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**AN- THE STORY IS _NOT_ OVER! Don't fret! …If, in fact, that is what you're doing. I had SO much fun doing this chapter, possibly one of the most fun yet. Review, review and you shall see what happens next in Yeshia's life. (It's going to be BIG, like _HUGE_.) If you can guess I'll give you cyber brownies! Mmmm… tasty! I'm only posting if I get at least twenty reviews or more… so PUSH the lil' blue button!**

**Someone told me that I wasn't allowed to reply to reviews in chapters any more... is this true? I won't reply until someone gives me an answer, the fear of my story being deleted is too great! (I'm so SORRY!) -crys in corner-**

**-peace and love**


	14. The BIG News

Quote of the Day:

"_Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried slamming a revolving door…" –from: Bourbon Blues_

---To Babysit Charlie---

The BIG News

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You know that feeling you get when you hear something utterly horrible? The burning sensation just under your skin – the bad burning. The impression of swallowing a huge wad of gum that suffocates all your air that you possess. The effect of a 473-pound man deciding to sit on your chest, making you loss your all ready smothered oxygen. The horrid waves of a man stabbing you a zillion times in the gut and –just for fun- twisting his sword again and again. And of course, the tears that happen to find their journey down your cheeks only to drip off your chin.

This is the sentiment of pure misery.

---

I'll give you the play by play-on how this situation had gotten underway.

My mummy, brother and I were sitting at the dinner table – I, of course, happen to be in a particular fair mood – eating our holy Chinese food. I kept biting my lip, holding back the giggles that I had been regurgitating, moving my sweet and sour pork across my plate with my chopsticks.

I caught my mum's eye and I broke out into an infectious grin, she smiled and wrinkled her nose, "Yeshia Colgan, what have you been up to?"

Just as I open my mouth to respond with an 'Oh, nothing…' but my idiot of a brother announced, "Snogging Charlie Weasley." I immediately picked up some rice with my fingers and threw it at the prat.

My mum raised her eyebrows, a small twitch of her lips told me she found this information amusing, before she shrugged nonchalantly and said, "I've always liked Charlie… he's a good boy." And returned to her stir fried goods.

I hate it when adults under mind teens by classing them as 'kids, boys or girls' it sounds so – lame. I stared at my dinner correcting my mum mentally, 'He's a man'. "Who told you?" I scuffed once Tanner picked all the food out of his dirty blonde-ish hair.

"Bill said he ran into a rather intense session between you and Mister Weasley." He said in a snooty tone, raising his head displaying a fairly large smirk.

"Why, Tanner, I never knew you liked to gossip about your little sister!" I mocked a gasp while dramatically dropping my wooden cutlery.

"Ok, that's enough!" My mum shook her head; she too was in a laidback mood. "Are you done?" Her purple orbs darted from Tanner to myself waiting for an answer.

"I am!" I stated happily as I pushed my meal far from me, emphasizing my point further. My mum gave a short chuckle before taking Tanner and my plates to the kitchen – Tanner pouted for a minute, clearly he wasn't done.

"To bed." She declared when she made her return waving her hands toward the stairs.

"Yes, your Majesty!" I bellowed with glee before I hopped, skipped and jumped to my room.

Once I brushed my teeth and changed into my handy dandy pajamas I danced into bed and pulled the covers to my chin, looking dashingly like a small child. I heard a faint knock at my door. "Heeelllo!" I chimed. My mother stepped into my room, glided to my bed and sat on the edge.

"I'm glad to see you glad." She said and pet my legs then proceeded to tuck me in like I was three.

"I'm glad that you're glad to see me glad!" I piped, grinning like a mad man.

She placed her head in her hands while saying in what I hopped was fun, "What am I going to do with you?" After a comfortable silence she sighed while tilting her head to the side, "So, Charlie?"

I smiled softly, what exactly did she want me to say? Confess my undying love?

Not likely.

"He's an excellent choice." She approved, nodding her head slightly.

"I know." I shrugged then scrunched up my nose, "But, to be honest, he kind of chose me."

"They often do." She laughed lightly before stroking my head lovingly.

WAIT! I'm having one of those 'bonding moments' everyone's going on about! I struggled to get my arms out from under the quilt and fiddled with it ever so dimly.

"Ok, I must hit the sack." My mum sniggered at her own joke- very un-cool. Damn. What if it's genetic? "Have to get up early for work tomorrow. Night, love."

"GOODNIGHT MUMMY DEAREST!" I sang, "I LUUUV YOU!" I smiled as she rolled her eyes and gave a 'Yes, yes. Love you too' and left closing my door with a small click.

--

I'm a regular tabby cat, running joyfully through the winding, flowery road when I came across a gold-framed mirror. "Hello, hello silly mirror!" I beamed at it. (Or the best kind of beam a cat can give.)

"I'm no mirror, nor am I silly." It responded.

"Really? Then what in Blues Brothers are you?" I asked cheerfully, bouncing on my paws. The 'I'm not a mirror' mirror flipped and the Earth cracked. All the flowers and trees vanished, leaving only a billion rocks and some sand, like a desert.

_**DING DONG**_

What in fiery hell is that? I, the cat, fell through the cracked Earth…

**_DING DONG_ **

I hurled through the black, dank, dark pit and found nothing.

**_DING DING DING DOOONG_ **

My eyes snapped open, I shifted and discovered that I was halfway off the bed, my legs were still sprawled across the mattress while my back and head happen to be on the floor – the very hard floor.

"Coming!" I croaked as I got up and hobbled downstairs, scratching the back of my neck. I caught a quick glimpse of the cloak and it read 6:41 AM.

Damn. That's early. I honestly had no idea there was a 6:41 in the morning, and I would have rather kept my naive way.

**_DIIIING DONG_ **

"Christ all mighty!" I yelled, "I'm COMING!" I scrambled to the door and undid the ridiculous amount of locks my mother had insisted on. "Yes?" I asked groggily, squinting my eyes at the early rays of the sun. My hazel, highly annoyed, orbs flickered to the to muggle officers that were standing awkwardly at the front step.

"Is this the residence of Yeshia Olga Colgan and Tanner Boris Ashley Colgan?" I meant to stifle my snort of laughter, but I didn't succeed. I had forgotten Tanner was cursed with a more hideous name than myself.

"Yes it is." I said with the same formality that they had spoken with.

"We wish to talk to them both." The dumpier of the two said, his pencil mustache trembling as his mouth moved.

"Right. Come in." I gestured for them to pass me and make their way into the living room. "I'll just get Tanny." I said lazily and trudged up the stairs into Tanner's room.

Instead of calling him like a normal human being I jogged over and sat on the back of his sprawled out form.

"Tanner," I whined while bouncing on him with each word, "There are two bobbies in the living room wanting to chat to us both!"

"Walrus child, GET OFF ME NOW." He grunted before shoving me toward the ground.

"Hey!" I poked him, "Get up now, you-you ape man!"

It's way too early.

I finally managed to get Tanner up and able to listen to whatever the officers had to say, so we sat on the opposite couch as the uniformed pair. "Tanner and Yeshia I presume." The less dumpy one inquired.

"Oh, no.' Tanner snapped, "We're Sunny and Cher." I said he was up, not happy.

The dumpiest dumpy nodded and surged into what seemed like a long conversation. 'He got a call, yadda yadda yadda, him and his partner went to check it out, blah blah blah, your mum was in a car accident.'

_**WHAT!**_

"WHAT?" Tanner and I demanded in perfect unison.

"Your mother is Elizibeth Edwarda Colgan-Peteringson, yeah?" –Eek. What a name.

"Yes." We said. Wow, we're like twins. But that's besides the point.

"Well, it seems she been in a fatal crash." Less Dumpy explained very bluntly.

I felt my world slid to a halt, everything was slow mode. Tears were starting to prickle and cascade down my profile. Then Tanner said the stupidest thing you could say and all I could do was let out a strangled whimper.

Tanner looked from Bobbie to Bobbie and stuttered, "Is she o-okay—?" He was cut off by my choked sob.

"Er, no. She was in a _fatal_ car crash." LD (less dumpy) tried again. I could see the wheels in Tanners head turning.

"DAMN IT!" He yelled standing up suddenly, "You're – you're joking! This is some sort of sick joke!" I saw his own tears beginning to fall, not that he would admit it.

Dumpy shook his head solemnly and heaved a sigh, "This is the worst part of the job-"

"Well, it'd be extremely BLOODY TWISTED IF YOU _LIKED _THIS PART!" Tanner bellowed. I stared off into space, my eyes unfocused and blurry as I gasped for air. I was starting to hyperventilate.

"Um, Yeshia, was it?" LD asked. My gazed flickered to the now distorted image that I saw. "We'll be back in four days to pick you up and bring you to your Godfather's." He smiled warmly.

---

"What?" I croaked, "Who's that?"

"Well a Godfather is-"

"I'm not retarded. I know what a Godfather is. Who is my Godfather?" I spat.

"Let me see…" LD grabbed a few papers from Dumpy and Tanner snatched them away and scanned them.

"It's Victor Karkatovon." Tanner stated looking pale as ever.

"But he lives in Bulgaria." I said, knowing full well I looked terrified and my chin was quivering furiously.

You know that feeling I was telling you about earlier? Well, there's **nothing **worse.

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Please read my 'Bio' page for any author notes within 24hours of my updates of any from my stories– due to the fact fanfiction has now made a rule against them away aswell.

**-peace and love**


	15. 12 YEARS LATER

_**Disclaimer- Rowling… Yeah, I'm her, Paranoid Sarcasm is just a nickname.**_

**Quote of the Day-**

_As I said before, I never repeat myself._

AN- Sorry, this took me a ridiculously long time to update. I've read your guy's emails and such… I love you all (even you who threaten me with death). This chapter I dedicate to Song Angel because she just got married and I wish her and her hubby loads of love –even if I didn't get any of your cake-. Thank you for reviewing! I love you all! PS, This is an unbeta-ed chapter. Sorry. BETA LYNN! Where are you? Please tell me I actually did send this to you and didn't just imagne it!

---To Babysit Charlie---

12 YEARS LATER

12 YEARS LATER

My life slowed to a halt after my mother passed. I mean it would be completely ridiculous if I just forgot about her and started a new chapter in my life. (AN- no pun intended) When I first moved in with Victor – who oddly looked like Chef Boyardee's twin- I don't think I would have put up with myself. Naturally, I blamed EVERYTHING on Vicky and I was one brick short of a load for close to a year.

Tanner, being the legal age for both muggles and wizards, had tried to gain full custody over me at the time. It never worked out; the judge ruled against seeing as he had no stable job –or any job for that matter- and therefore it would be completely irresponsible for her to let him try and support a 'family'. (But Tanner did get to keep our house, seeing as it was in mum's will)

So, my life was practically in the shits. I was living with a person I'd never seen nor talked to in my entire life. There was no way for me to return to Hogwarts if I lived in Bulgaria. I had no friends, no close family, and no Charlie. I was depressed in the worst way. I couldn't keep in contact with anyone the wizarding way – I think Victor would have noticed if I had an obscure amount of owl callers, or just owl caller for that matter.

The one thing I got to keep was magic. I used to thank the lord that Dumbledore had discussed my lack-of-school problem with the Headmaster at Durmstrang and he had made a special agreement that I was to be allowed in. I didn't understand why it had been such an ordeal to get me into Drumstrang until I actually arrived.

It was an all boys' school.

I followed the Headmaster in and was almost run over by all these blokes telling me of my everlasting beauty. The first three seconds it did wonders for my ego, then I noted there we no girls around… anywhere. I was a tad pissed that no one had mentioned to me I would be staying at an ALL BOYS SCHOOL! But to my pleasure, I soon figured out I had a personal wing in the slightly gloomy castle in which no randy boys were allowed.

I continued my schooling for about a week, but you know, with me not being able to speak Bulgarian it was a bit hard. So I had language barrier to cross, and I was fairly glad for it when I told my whole charms class that chocolate was an aphrodisiac. Sadly, a couple of students HAD understood and I quickly was the victim of gossip that I couldn't even understand – one the other hand, you'd have to be a moron to NOT know everyone was talking about me, they always whispered while looking at me. Smooth.

After receiving MANY chocolate bars from fellow students I became fed up with my schooling career and as a result I left. Now, to many this may seem a little dramatic but having 231 chocolate products given to you as you try to make your way to class is both embarrassing and delicious.

I returned to Victor's home in the worst of spirits and the Boyardee look-a-like comforted me as much as he could, he vowed that as soon as he had enough money saved we would move back to UK.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is what brings me to present day. Where I work for my very own Godfather, Victor, as a helpful secretary for his small catering business in the heart of jolly old England. I know, C'est la vie. Though Victor's Venders make excellent food, it's not as popular as one would like… well, actually I like it the way it is, I don't have to do much work.

I do, however, have another secretary to keep up with. I think Victor did that on purpose because now there's no way I can slack off. Anyway, he's name is Kain, he is a wonderful worker and he's as straight as a bent arrow. So, A) I can't sleep with him to make my life easier, B) He's actually productive; therefore I have to keep my end of work at the same level, C) Kain is the sweetest bloke I've ever met in my life, thus I can't get mad at him.

Living above my work place with Victor only suited me until I was old enough –and wealthy enough- to make it on my own, which was almost exactly a month and ten years ago. Yes –stop the presses- I am twenty eight years old, and I don't think I'm likely to forget it with my entire family riding on my back to meet a bloke, get married, have kids. Tanner even got into the mess and I don't even have the luck to call him a hypocrite. I now live in a crappy flat, which was previously owned by the local cat lady, judging by the smell.

Oh yes, guess whom my brother married… Lucy. I was, most certainly, not happy about these arrangements when I first heard of the ordeal –despite the fact that I did enjoy being a bride's maid- it was like my brother was taking away my best friend… and then having a kid with her.

'Hurrah', I'm going to be an aunty in around three months –I really am excited, I'm just tad pratty at the moment. Lucy, Tanner and the soon-to-be Tanner Jr. (or something tacky like that) live in our old house. Which, if I remember correctly, is just a few fields down from the Weasley's Burrow. No, I haven't spent any time with any of the Weasley's after I moved to Bulgaria but Charlie and I did write each other for about a year… I think we all know what happens to long-distance relationships.

For eleven years I've been tempted to call on their door, asking childishly if Charlie would like to come out and play. Except, I figured, seeing as he too would be twenty-eight that he probably has moved by now.

In conclusion of this little 'update', my relationships are in the pits –my love department is pretty low-, my brother's having a kid, I work for the Godfather (who, did I mention, has a weird fixation with Simon and Garfunkel?) , I live in a house that smells like cat pee, I'm completely obsessed with muggle TV, and my best mate is now an zest-for-life gay man that I happen to just to completely adore.

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Thank you for reading! I love you all! Please review to let me know you haven't given up!

Peace and Love,

Paranoid Sarcasm


	16. Desk Diving

Disclaimer- For I am Rowling… I just like making stories for free here on fanfic!

AN- This is for those faithful reviewers! I love you all. Thank you for putting up with my leave of absence. I hope it will never be that long again, but sadly I'm not going to be able to post for a week or two. I have a busy life. I'm REALLY sorry. Feel free to email me. I adore hearing from you.

Sorry, this is also un-beta-ed. I wanted to get it up while I had time.

Quote of the Day-

"If you eat a load of skittles will you fart Technicolor?"

---To Babysit Charlie---

Desk Diving

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I swear the person who invented alarm clocks had a knack for finding the most annoying sound on the entire planet. I'm all most positive that I've mentioned my love for sleep? Well, guess what? That's exactly what I'm doing and I'm currently in the world plagued with the colour red – all shades. Just red. Everywhere.

Well I was until I was interrupted with the damned BEEPs of the century. Naturally I hit the sleep button.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And finally turned the alarm off all together.

I jumped out of my socks –which I now have a strange habit of wearing to bed– when I heard massive pounding on the door of my flat. "Yeshia Ogla Colgan, get up this instant!"

In reality, this should have stopped being scaring in the first year of these disturbances. As it is, it's been going on since Kain figured out where I lived.

"Wait a second!" I yelled as I snuggled deeper into my covers, having no intention of getting up this in millennium. Just because I'm twenty-eight does not mean I'm mature in the least. Honestly what did you expect, me to grow up?

"Yeshia! Open this door NOW!" Kain's voice was on edge, I could picture him tapping his foot the way he always does when he's getting impatient.

"Urg." I whimpered as I got my lazy butt in gear and threw on some pants (I always seemed to sleep in knickers, a shirt and a pair of socks) and made my way to the door.

I was right. Kain WAS tapping his foot. I would have smirked if I had the energy but, as it were, I'm way too tired. Mornings are never a good thing.

Ever.

"God Yesh, you look like you died. Want some coffee?" Kain walked in before I even invited him while passing me a spare cup of coffee he'd got from the corner shop. He looked absolutely clad standing in my funky barf-green living room wearing a clean white oxford shirt and tan cackies. I'm afraid to say I might actually prefer a peach living room.

I glared at his beaming smile. Everyone knew I couldn't stand the sight of coffee let alone the taste. His stupid blue eyes twinkled as he ruffled his own raven hair while he shrugged carelessly.

"Get ready!" He chanted shoeing me into my yellow painted bedroom. "Sheesh, Yishy. Ever think of replacing the carpets in this place? It stinks"

I rolled my eyes as I wiggled into some spare jeans and tossed on a clean top while flipping my hair into a quick ponytail. I sauntered back into the living room and pointed to the door before barking, "Out, you blasted being! Waking me up so early in the morning!"

"It's eight in the morning, Yesh. You would DIE in the real world." He shook his head before marching out the door while snipping, "By the way you look very 'garbage bin meets street bum' today. Was that would you were going for or was it just coincidence?"

"I was going for Oscar the Grouch, thanks." I snapped before ushering his behind out of the way so I could close my flat door.

After picking up a muffin for my breakfast and swaggering into work, which was a delightful place decorated in light blues and yellows with a few pictures on the walls of random scenery, we took our seats in the two desks in the middle of the room.

Fortunately or unfortunately – depending on how you look at it – I'm banned from answer the phones. After forgetting our company, any information that might be helpful, and –of course- my own name Kain had taken over that part. He'd also taken over the paper work after I shredded 'vital' documents. Honestly, how vital can company transaction records be?

So, I have to categorize all our customers by name and date then I have to store them in the computer, which I managed to fry several times, as well as the records on paper. Obviously I'm not to great at this whole 'work' thing that I have to do to, you know, live but I'm trying. Isn't that what counts? Victor also has me make all the promotional banners and adds. That's fun and slightly amusing. At the moment, I'm thinking purple…

Absently I hear the bell ring that announces new visitors arriving. Logically, I glanced up at what I thought was the summer sun streaming through the open door was actually the summer sun glinting off a number of shiny red heads.

My eyes widened to the point where it felt like the pressure would make my head explode. Immediately I knew who had just walked into the door. There has to be only one family on this island with THAT many members and THAT red of hair.

Weasleys.

I choked on the air that I had breathed in all too quickly before making a head first dive under my desk.

"Yeshia!" Kain hissed who was cheerily beckoning the Weasley clan over. "What in the world-"

But I will never know what was in the world because right at that exact moment what I know to be Molly Weasley's voice interrupted him. "Yeshia Colgan? Did I just see Yeshia Colgan?"

I swore under my breath before jumping up from under my desk and making an excellent dramatized show with my hand clasped to me ear. "THERE'S MY EARRING!" I practically bellowed hoping to Merlin that no one would noticed the fact that I don't wear earings.

There was silence where I was in awe at the two Weasley children at their mother's side. I almost felt like draping my arms over the two and weeping, 'You're all growd up!' but wisely decided against it.

Molly let out a sound I can only describe as giddy before grabbing me and nearly crushing me in one of her infamous bear hugs over my desk. "Oh this is wonderful! I never thought- Oh! Lets not think of that! Ginny, Ron remember Yeshia?"

After being let go and feeling slightly dizzy I looked at the teens, who were both taller then me. Ron had a confused expression and looked as though he'd never laid eyes on me before in his life and then, thankfully, Ginny spoke up. "Vaguely."

I smiled hopefully at Ron who just shrugged and said, "We've met?" before Molly gave him a warning look.

"Yes you've met. Yeshia babysat you?" Molly encouraged her son but with one last empty gaze from Ron she gave up.

I felt like cupping the boy up side the head and setting our facing inches apart before yelling, 'Ring any bells? Toot any horns?' but my wits must have been with me today because I resisted. At that moment another ring broke the atmosphere to reveal two identical looking faces with flame like hair.

"Oh my God." Was all I could say and took a step closer toward Kain.

"Yishy Mishy Mash-a!" Both the twins gave equally wide grins before laughing and one of them blurting out, "You work at Vicky's Vendors! Priceless!"

I gave a scowl and rolled my eyes, "Victor is my Godfather." I replied which pleasantly enough shut them up.

After taking a second and slightly longer look at the twins I noticed how much they looked like another Weasley, an older brother Weasley. They had his stocky build and playful lop-sided grin. This made my stomach give a painful lurch, remembering Charlie formed a lump in my throat and caused my forehead to crease.

I quickly glanced at Molly and realized that she was talking and I gave a slight, "Umm" before adding, "Sorry, I was miles away there."

Molly beamed, "Still the same Yeshia." Before indulging me in why she was here.

I stood stuck still when she had said, 'One of the oldest getting married' and 'promised I would pick out the wedding menu'. Nooo! Poo on a stick! Charlie is getting married and going to have a zillion children like Weasley tradition and I'm going to die alone as a fat old lady!

"Married?" I asked in a oddly high pitched voice.

"Oh, yes! Bill and Fluer. Such a wonderful couple! I was wondering if we could use Vicky Vendors as the caterers? Of course you would be able to come with a date, if you wish. Family friends since the dawn of time, you could say…" Molly continued to ramble and my heart started to beat once again upon hearing Bill's name.

"…Charlie's coming back from Romania, obviously," My gaze snapped back to her, "and I know he said something about bringing a Sarah or was is Sandra back with him." I forced a smile a nodded.

"Wonderful!" I chirped as I clapped my hands together. "Oh! What am I doing," I completely interrupted Molly's musing, "This is Kain. Kain, this is Molly and her children… he's my boyfriend!" I added as an after thought while nodding enthusiastically as I waved over at Kain. I have no idea what possessed me to say it.

…Was I jealous?

Damn. Life just got complicated.

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Please remember I adore emails but –for my sake- keep them nice. Thanks for reading and, though it may take a while I will try and update as soon as humanly possible but I have a long road to get down before I spend any more time writing – at least a couple of weeks.

On a lighter note: This is a site where you can find I drawn picture of Yeshia! www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 24005148/

If you copy and paste that you will see what wonders lie beyond! (Wow… that sounded a tad weird. Haha)

Peace and Love

Paranoid Sarcasm


	17. The Plea of the Desperate

Disclaimer: I only own the plot. All recognizable and familiar content belongs to J K Rowling.

AN: I know many of you are disappointed at my lack of updating but it turned out fate felt like spoon feeding my life with fair-size amounts of hubbub – for a lack of a better term. For one, my brother was sent to the hospital for heart surgery and just recently returned home. Family comes before fanfiction. I would have had it out before the whole ordeal if my mom hadn't tried to 'fix' the computer and had EVERYTHING deleted. Fun.

Quote of the Day:

"How do you answer the question 'What is the meaning of life?' I've always said it was a matter of opinion, and mine answer happens to be, 'To live'."

---To Babysit Charlie---

The Plea of the Desperate

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"So, I'm your what?" Kain asked as we both sat on his leather couch in his nice, clean flat.

"Boyfriend." I said flatly while I rose from my seat and went toward his kitchen, which was absolutely perfect by my standards, "Tell me something, Kain, how come your place is so much better than mine? Everything is just so… new."

"My parents are completely loaded." He dismissed before getting up to follow me, "Um, I don't like to push your buttons, but why am I your boyfriend? I mean, you lack what I'm looking for in a partner." He came in from behind me and rested one arm on my head.

I snorted, obviously someone was loaded in his family because he and I were making the same salary… and I –evidently- couldn't afford this kind of living. I sighed as I took out my chocolate milk, which Kain doesn't drink but is kind enough to supply it for me, from the refrigerator and had a large swig from the carton while shaking off his arm in the process.

"Kain, please do this for me… please. You don't understand the history I have with these people." I gave him my puppy eyes that never really worked but it was worth a shot.

"Apparently." He replied before blindly pouring himself some coffee while giving me a raised eyebrow.

"Ka-ain!" I pleaded, bouncing on the balls of my feet.

I'm pathetic.

"You're pathetic."

"I know!" I squawked flinging my chocolate milk back into the expensive, new, stainless steel fridge. "Kain, I beg of you! I'll do your laundry for a month."

"Yesh, I've seen you do laundry… I think I'll pass." He titled his head for a moment and shrugged his shoulders, "You could…"He trailed off.

"What?" I scrabbled for his question, looking hungrily at him, "I could what?"

"Well, -er-, you could talk to the guy at the coffee shop for me." He seemed so adorable I couldn't have said no even if I wasn't baited with him being my fake boyfriend for however long.

"Anything!" I said swiftly, flashing him a thankfully, grateful grin.

"So… tell me about this Charlie. He has to be quite a character to get you all strung out like this." Kain inquired lightly as we both made our way back to his lovely living room.

"He's no body." I waved a dismissive hand at him before laying my legs over his lap.

"Yeah, and the Queen has me over for supper ever 'eve."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh! Yeshia, I've tragically come down with something. It looks as if I can't be your pretend boy-toy, after all!"

"Ok!" I snapped, as I scowled at him and his stupid, ruddy hand placed dramatically on his forehead.

I began the shorthand version of the first sixteen years of my life. I was not impressed to see him falling asleep after I was only halfway done. But as soon as I got to where the drama began, he seemed to perk up immensely. "But it was no big deal. It was only a summer fling involving two hormonal teens." I finished lamely, as my cheeks flushed when his eyes lit up.

"Yeshia, I can't believe you were in love at age sixteen!" He gasped, "You are so lucky!"

"I was NOT in love, you ignoramus!" I said defensively. It may sound weird but I don't particularly believe in love. Or, I do. It's just that I doubt I've felt it yet. "It was a CRUSH. You know that thing that every person has/gets/needs?"

But he didn't listen. Stupid dolt. He was still in his own world, blabbing about stuff that was all fluffy, film quality junk I could care less about.

"Listen, Kain." Still, he ignored me, "Honey! Sweetheart! Sugar Buns! Stud Muffin!" I called out random, repulsive names. It worked, he had stopped his ridiculous chatter and finally was talking normally again.

"If you guys were good family friends, why didn't your brother invite them to his wedding?" Kain asked, he was looking thoughtful for a moment.

I looked surprised I often wondered the same thing, at the time. "I guess Tanner and Bill had drifted too far a part by then. I'm no sure exactly what the reason was…" I trailed off and felt a weird lump in my throat, something about facing all these old feelings and problems just kept them alive and fresh. "We used to mail each other right after mum's accident," I felt the familiar prickle of tears just under my nose, "He said that he and Bill just didn't seem to find the time to see one another. Bill was getting a job, as was Tanner. Things got too complicated," I cleared my throat, swallowing my tears quickly, "I'm being stupid."

"Aww, Yeshia!" He squeezed my hand, "Now that lover boy is back, things will get better."

I laughed, despite myself. "Kain, you're forgetting that he has a girlfriend."

"Then we'll just have to show that bloke what he's missing!" He declared as he enthusiastically threw his fist in the air, "And you are so going to owe me."

I have my doubts… I'm beginning to wonder if I'll still owe him if this whole thing turns into a mistake. My stomach keeps trying to contort in ways that an acrobat shouldn't ever attempt as I think of the sixteen year old Charlie in a bathtub with a pink shower curtain wrapped around the both of us.

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Thanks for reading and I'd like to shout out to SpikesDreamer, she has helped me with this story whether she knows this or not.

Secondly, I try to respond to all reviews so if you have questions I'm sure I'm be able to answer them. I apologize for the short chapter and the long wait you had to endure. Hopefully you faithful reviewers haven't given up hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel. –All of a sudden I feel depressed… is that normal? Anyway, Happy Holidays and have a great New Years!

-peace and love.

ParanoidSarcasm


	18. And Then There Was Red

Disclaimer- I disclaim.

AN: Yes. This took me a while. Yeah, I got that. I'm not in a very fine mood, sorry about that, so I don't feel like naming my excuses. A couple of you folks had some really great questions that I would have loved to answer but you didn't sign in and/or didn't leave you email. I would have answered. Sorry to those who didn't get a reply. I usually do but I was running out of time and figured you'd want this instead. I really do feel bad.

WARNING: The word PENISES is used in this chapter. (Just thought I'd let you know - ) This is also unbeta-ed.

Quote of the Day- "There are three types of people: Those who can count and those who can't."

---To Babysit Charlie---

And Then There Was Red 

Well, my whole evening last day was filled with, "Ow! Kain, you sod, that hurts!" and, "Bloody hell, Kain, if it fit do you really think my arse would ripple like that?"

I don't care what people say, shopping is not fun. I was out looking for the dress I was planning on wearing to Bill's wedding –Kain offered to help- when I discovered something I am willing to remember for the future, I DO NOT do dresses.

As I'm sitting here in my old ex-living room, Tanner and Lucy's current living room, I realized how badly I'd failed step one in: Show Charlie What He's Missing. Kain had it planned down the tee. We get a brilliant outfit, do my hair and make up.

Yup. Good thing our plan wasn't really cliché…

So anyway, we searched many-a-stores and found ONE skirt I was willing to wear, a blazer Kain refused to let me buy, and a shirt that Kain said had a classy yet sexy look about it. Personally, I think it looked like a balloon that had been popped and someone decided to stick the pieces together. But what do I know about fashion?

"You'll look great!" Lucy chimed with one hand on her pregnant belly.

"You are just trying to make me feel better." I snapped crossing my arms across my chest while I sit one of the peach couches.

"Well, yes."

'Lucy!"

"What? All you do is bloody mope about! Get out there and frigging tackle the stupid git!" She practically shouted, her chest was heaving and some of her brown locks flew into her face. Her hands now placed on her hips and her eyes were ablaze.

My eyes went wide in surprise. Suddenly I was wishing Kain hadn't gone home to get changed.

"You're the git." I mumbled as I sunk lower into the couch… stupid hormones, you'd swear I threatened to murder someone.

I could feel her glare burn down on me as I avoided her gaze. "The wedding is in exactly," She checked her watch, "Twenty minutes. Now, if you get your things on I'll doll up your face."

I gave her a mock salute before stomping upstairs. It felt so odd to be marching up my old hallway, into my old room –which was converted into a guest room. I sighed and quickly changed and checked my reflection. As I looked at myself I found that I was at a loss for words. I stared at the mirror and I stared back at me. My cream outfit definitely didn't make me all of a sudden change into a super model but I had to admit, I cleaned up nicely.

I smiled and the twin in the backwards world grinned in return, I gave a wave and I got one back. I found myself extending my arm, pretending to shake someone's hand. "Hello. I'm Yeshia. Why, yes! I do work for the Sunday Times." I proclaimed proudly and laughed in a pompous tone.

It was no wonder people talked like that. It was great fun. I snorted in mirth as I swatted my hand in dismissal, "Oh, Charlie? Yes, he's doing quite well in work… Oh, well yes. I'm not supposed to talk about his work, you see, he's a secret agent." I nodded solemnly. I had become obsessed with muggle television as well as films and for some reason almost everything I did turned into a James Bond flick.

The theme music started to thump through my head. MISTER GOOOLDFIIIINGER! PRETTY GIRL BEWARE OF THIS HEAR-

I hadn't realized I had been dancing until I heard someone open the door. I froze in mid arm flail and looked at Lucy who was trying to suppress her laughter with one hand on her mouth while her other was on her forehead.

"Yeshia?" A few giggles leaked through her hand, "Ahem, I don't think that's a wise idea… you're skirt might rip."

It was then when I became conscious of one of my legs that was up on the end of the bed. I glanced down, mentally scolding as I glared at my limb. The thing has a mind of it's own, it does. I took it down and was towed by Lucy toward the bathroom where there was a mound of makeup.

"Oh God." I whispered as I saw some of appliances that were plugged into the wall and the amount of blushes that Lucy had in stock. What have I got myself into?

--

My face felt as though it was going to fall off and my hair felt like it was going to fall out. For all that is shinny, WHY did women feel the need to wear so much crap on their faces? It was as though I had at least several layers above my actual skin… gross.

Although, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I have to say, I looked good. I winked at my reflection when Lucy gasped loudly. I looked at her with a frown.

"Shit, Yesh –Oops, sorry little guy-" She patted he belly before her eyes found their way back to my face, "You're going to be late!"

Kain had come in and was somewhere downstairs. I hadn't seen him yet, that was when Lucy was working my 'T Zone' or something like that and I was instructed to stay seated until she came back.

So, here Kain and I were, in Tanner's Chevrolet humming down the dirt road to the Weasley's abode. I swallowed the lump that was quickly forming in my throat.

Once I got over the shock of how STUNNING Bill's bride was and Bill's disfigured face, I was fine. I was with Kain mingling with the rest of the guests. The ceremony had been gorgeous and I couldn't help but feel a certain yearning to have one of my own.

Sadly, the only people I saw that I recognized was the Weasleys, everyone else was so different –actually, they gave new meaning to the different. They were down right strange. I kept giving sidewise, uneasy glances in Kain's direction… he didn't know about wizards, after all. But it seems as though Molly had put in extra care into trying to had the magical-ness of her own backyard.

"I swear," Kain whispered into my ear as he scooped the dance floor, "ONE of those two has to be gay." He pointed at the twins who were snicker together, which instantly made my guard go up.

"No," I said in an undertone, rolling my eyes, "How would you know?"

"I can tell, trust me." I said nodding, his eyes dancing with something I just didn't want to know.

"Well, good for one of them. Kain, listen to me, you can't go and hit on them… you're my date tonight." I warned giving him a reproachful look.

"Fine." He drew out the word, just to let me know he wasn't impressed.

Call me a coward but I had be purposefully hiding from Charlie through the entire ordeal. Every time I saw I even a speck of orange I'd dash behind Kain. Well, I had already greeted Bill, I congratulated him and his bride. I also thanked Molly for inviting me and waved to a striking Ginny and a handsome Ron, although I didn't stay long because they were talking to two others their own age. I knew if I stayed, I'd only end up embarrassing them… or myself.

I turned toward the punch table, which was conveniently right behind me and bumped into someone… and then there was red. Red hair, freckles, firm build, my cheeks were on fire.

"Sorry about that." He said with out looking at me but once he caught my eye he too stood stock-still.

"Charlie, hi." I said weakly, it sounded as though a mouse had temporarily had taken control over my voice. I knew my face was flushed and I knew that what I was going to say was stupid and yet I didn't stop myself. I couldn't, I was just- just a shell at the moment.

"Did you know that swans are the only birds with penises?"

Oh. My. God. Please tell me I didn't just say that…

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I know, this was pretty short but whatever. I'm so tired and I just came back to my dad's to finish this for you… fell loved. There is obviously still more so keep your eyes open for the next update. Sorry if you are offended by the word 'penises' but, come on, they're only organs. Thanks for reading! I love reviews and I'll try to respond to all!

-peace and love. Paranoid Sarcasm

PS: Beta Lynn, I lost your email so I couldn't email this to you. If you still want to be my beta just send me a sign 


	19. Teaser!

Disclaimer- I own only the original characters and the plot.

Quote of the Day- "Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone." -C.S. Lewis

**AN: I know, I know. Bad author! Urg. I've been banned from the computer so I've had to be sneaky. Long story short, I've done this up at school and this is the reason why it's so short. Forgive me? I won't be able to give you the rest in a while… I'm off to a gymnastic competition from Tuesday-Saturday. (I'm coaching. Lol) So, this is a tiny teaser just for you.**

**I'm terribly sorry that this isn't beta-ed, I thought you'd want it up quick rather then having to wait a while. And I'm also dreadfully sorry for not responded to all reviews. Like I said, I've been banned from the computer.**

---To Babysit Charlie---

Chapter Teaser!

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I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, hoping against reality that I didn't just say that.

I heard Kain say in disbelief, "Did you just say that?"

Slowly, I opened my hazel orbs to gaze out, not really see who was there. Actually, to be perfectly honest I don't think I could do anything but stare at Charlie's label and wish the ground could swallow me whole in that moment.

I braced myself for the bark-like laugh that Charlie would soon let out with, instead a girls voice chirped, "Did she really just say that?"

Right then, I raised my eyes in a flash towards that voice. A small brunette was standing there, grinning as if the world were going to end.

I'm guess that this is Charlie's date. I felt myself glower at the women. See was not ugly by anyone's standards. I'm sure, if men could, they would bow if she dared to grace them with her presents.

I jerked back to life when I heard a deep chuckle, like one of those ones that make you feel as though you drank a ton of hot chocolate. The toasty feeling that seems to reach your fingertips rippled through me as though it controlled me. Maybe it was just the laugh, or perhaps that it was because I knew it came from Charlie either way, I held my breath waiting for a response.

"She just said that." Said a kindhearted tone.

Now, that was defiantly Charlie. The pleasant feeling that had been trembling throughout me had now shot directly to my face. I began blushing so hard; I seriously believe I could have burst into flames.

I met his gaze only for a moment but, even if my face was on fire, it was worth it. His blue eyes were enough to fill me with something that I can't be to clear on, for I have no idea how to explain it. A rush, perhaps, is the most accurate way in clarifying it.

**AN: And, I'm assuming if you're reading this then you are a fan of Harry Potter. Well, a good friend of mine has just put up a wonderful site that is for all HP fans! Feel free to visit! Here's the link: (Please take out the spaces) http/ finkpishnets. proboards92. com/ index. cgi **


	20. Ordinary?

_Disclaimer: I disclaim. _

**AN: Sorry it took me so long. I have to go up to the educational thingy because there is a shortage of consolers and I have to be rushed up there. So, in short, I'm leaving for a week to go up in the wilderness (not really, it's a camp site thing with crummy cabins) and take care of ten kids. At. All. Times. I've been preparing for it all week. Urg.  
Anyway, here it is. Just for you! (You don't get a quote today… I'm in a horrible rush, sorry)**

---To Babysit Charlie---  
Ordinary?

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I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, hoping against reality that I didn't just say that.

I heard Kain say in disbelief, "Did you just say that?"

Slowly, I opened my hazel orbs to gaze out, not really see who was there. Actually, to be perfectly honest I don't think I could do anything but stare at Charlie's label and wish the ground could swallow me whole in that moment.

I braced myself for the bark-like laugh that Charlie would soon let out with, instead a girls voice chirped, "Did she really just say that?"

Right then, I raised my eyes in a flash towards that voice. A small brunette was standing there, grinning as if the world were going to end.

I'm guess that this is Charlie's date. I felt myself glower at the women. See was not ugly by anyone's standards. I'm sure, if men could, they would bow if she dared to grace them with her presents.

I jerked back to life when I heard a deep chuckle, like one of those ones that make you feel as though you drank a ton of hot chocolate. The toasty feeling that seems to reach your fingertips rippled through me as though it controlled me. Maybe it was just the laugh, or perhaps that it was because I knew it came from Charlie either way, I held my breath waiting for a response.

"She just said that." Said a kindhearted tone.

Now, that was defiantly Charlie. The pleasant feeling that had been trembling throughout me had now shot directly to my face. I began blushing so hard; I seriously believe I could have burst into flames.

I met his gaze only for a moment but, even if my face was on fire, it was worth it. His blue eyes were enough to fill me with something that I can't be to clear on, for I have no idea how to explain it. A rush, perhaps, is the most accurate way in clarifying it.

I couldn't help but look around once more, trying to seem casual but in reality I was trying to catch another glimpse of Charlie's date. And as soon as I did, I smiled… although it was more out of relief than anything. She wasn't a God-like creature I thought I'd seen before when I looked her way as she spoke.

She was normal. Or normal-er than I expected.

Her hair was long and the colour of a rich brownie… mmmm, brownies. What did Molly say her name was again? Sarah? Sandra? Samantha? I didn't really know, all I could think of was how much her blue eyes sparkled. I suddenly could see why she seemed so stunning.

It was all in her eyes. Corny, yes, but it's true. You can just see her smile laugh in her eyes. I have to admit, if I swung the other way I would have asked her out myself.

Charlie must have noticed my _subtle_ stare because he announced, "Yeshia, this is Salome. Salome, Yeshia."

Salome? Was that name for real? It sound so-so …

"…unusual." Salome had said something that I completely missed.

"Eh? Sorry, I didn't catch that… I lost a bit of my hearing back in 'Nam" I always said things like this when I try and get myself out of not paying attention. It never works. I now had three blank stares at me. "You know, Vietnam?" I asked meekly and gave a shrug.

"Right." Salome was probably wondering if Charlie typically associates with idiots. "I was just saying that Yeshia is such an unusual name…"

"Oh! Right… well, thanks I guess. Salome is too, actually." I gave my cheeky you-know-you-love-me grin. But that too seem to fail. "We're two peas in a pod, than!"

Sometimes I wish my mouth would run things by my brain for once, to give the illusion that I'm truly intelligent.

She smiled back at me like her worst fears had been realized; her boyfriend had thrown in the mercy of a lunatic. Thankfully, that didn't stop the conversation as I remembered I had yet to introduce Kain.

So I did.

Consequently, there are now four people standing awkwardly trying to thing up any excuse for their leave. I thought of one first.

"So, er, Kain and I were just going to dance. Weren't we?" I gave him a very reproachful look and he took the hint.

"Naturally. What's a wedding without dancing, eh?" And with that, he led me to the dance floor.

A few minutes later (full of non-helpful sniggers from Kain) I saw Charlie leading Ginny out to the dance floor where they seemed to be having a wonderful time.

Stupid wedding.

I wasn't going to let that ruin my time, though. I turned Kain and I around so my back was facing them and began doing more vigorous moves and made Kain burst out laughing in the process. Which is what I wanted in the first place and I joined him.

We laughed. He too started to dance in the same fashion. I'm sure an outsider would thing we were complete nutters. All I know is that I was having fun.

After a while I felt a small tap on my shoulder and I turned my head.

It was Fred.

Or possibly George.

I couldn't tell. But it didn't really matter, seeing as the other twin was now _stealing my date_! They were now gyrating as if their souls were going to be damned for all eternity if they didn't. Soon the twin who had commanded my attention was tying in like a boy scout's knot.

I'm left to my own devises until someone steps right in front of me.

Charlie.

I bit my lip to prevent myself from swooning… I am not entirely sure if it's ordinary for a woman my age to have a crush.

But who said ordinary was any fun?

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**I'll make it longer next time, I promise.**


	21. Stan the Pizza Man

_Disclaimer: To say I owned Harry Potter and/or any of the characters would be a complete and utter lie._

Quote of the Day: "The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it." - Al Batt

---To Babysit Charlie ---

Stan the Pizza Man

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Charlie took my hands gently, leading me a little closer toward the small boogieing crowd and a little farther away from Kain and the troublesome pair. I couldn't believe my luck. I half expected the bumping, energized happy beat to suddenly change into a slow melody – you know, like in all truism romantic films…

But I was disappointed, for nothing of the sort happened. I guess that stuff will stay in the cliché films for now. Instead, Charlie and I continued to dance in a hop-like fashion until he finally broke the silence.

"Sorry about that. I just couldn't resist. I saw him scooping them out from the other side of the dance floor," he said mischievously, his eyes giving off a warm glow.

"I told him he was being obvious!" I snapped without thinking.

Crap. I just completely blew our/my cover. Why hadn't I thought of something desperately clever to say just then? And I knew that was exactly what he had wanted to hear. I could tell by the way his eyebrows rose in mock questioning.

"He's bi?" I tried pathetically. He didn't seem to buy it. Quite the contrary, he didn't look convinced in the least. "Seriously! I'm totally cool with it, though. You know? Like, who cares, right? As long as he tells me the info he can do whatever he wants. He's a grown man, after all- but, hey!" I'm not being successful so I'm switching to a different tactic- changing the subject. "I didn't know the twins were –er- bent, so to speak."

"Oh, no. It's only George. Fred's straight as a bird." He said simply and even offered a small shrug as we bee-bopped to the music. My expression must have cased my confusion because he carried on, "He's just doing me a bit of a favor."

"Favor?" I asked dumbly as I slowed my movements a tad.

"Well, um," I could see a flush creep up his neck onto his cheeks and ears. "I just wanted to have a chance to catch up."

I cracked a grin, despite myself and piped in, "So Fred's not gay?"

"Nope. Actually, he's constantly boasting about this new girl he managed to snag –I believe her name is Roberta- he won't shut up about her." He rolled his eyes and shook his head in good humor and I found myself growing a soft spot for the twin who managed to find love. It sounded adorable.

"That's nice," was my intelligent response, which led into another moment of silence on which I could reflect on my behavior in regards to this whole reunion- and I cringe as I think back. _Swans_? What was I thinking? I could have said something a little less crude like… -Insert witty fact here-... "Where's Salome?" I abruptly inquired, again without thinking… I should really get a look at the loose screw in my head. Why was I bringing up the girlfriend I was trying to make him forget about as I showed him how amazing I was?

"She's around. I think she and Remus are dancing," he said lightly, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Who?"

"A good chap."

"You let your date dance with another bloke?" I can't believe I'm dancing with a man who referred to another man as 'chap'.

"I could accuse you of the same thing," he reminded me.

"Oh, so you could." We both looked at each other directly in the eyes and broke out into laughter- though I'm not entirely sure why. I suppose it could have been the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

I didn't plan it, honesty, but we both took a simultaneous small step closer together so that we now pass as good friends instead of just acquaintances.

"Too bad things didn't work out," he said casually.

That had come from nowhere.

"What?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew what he was talking about.

"Er, us, I meant." Bluntly put. Completely un-smooth and insensitive.

"Well, Charlie, I'm sorry my mum getting flattened by some car on a road somewhere got in the way and wrecked it for you," I hissed dangerously. I immediately stopped dancing and crossed my arms across my chest defensively.

"Merlin, Yeshia, that's not what I meant," he muttered as he ran a hand through his hair distractedly.

"Yeah? I'm sorry I was forced to move to Bulgaria – which happened to destroy what we had. What did you think, eh? That we were in love? Please, Charlie," I snarled. I was enraged and I'm positive anyone who could see me could deduct that for themselves. "We were sixteen. We had fun. It was a fling. Get over it." In reality, I was repeating the mantra I had said to myself every time I thought of the man standing in front of me for the last twelve years. I could feel the sting of tears prickling behind my eyelashes and I sniffed loudly. "You stopped writing, Charlie." I jabbed a finger into his chest as an old hurt rose within me, "It stung to know you forgot. It ached to know you didn't care. And now you pull that out of your arse?" Fat and most likely messy tears ran down my cheeks and I wiped them away angrily.

"Yesh, it wasn't like that-," he said stubbornly, however, his face was coloured slightly and was riddled with guilt.

"Plenty of people want to be with me Charlie," I spat venomously and I jabbed him once again in the chest. It didn't matter that it wasn't true. In fact, I only knew of one person who wanted me as badly as I implied and that's Stan the Pizza Man, which isn't saying much. "So don't," –chest jab- "think I'd jump your sorry bones because you feed me this dribble. What's the matter, exactly? Salome not putting out enough for you?"

I didn't wait for his answer as I turned on my heel, but the look on his face –which can only be described as deep discontentment- said he wasn't going to say any more anyway. As I marched past where Kain seemed to be in heaven, I vaguely remember calling out that I was leaving and taking the car with me. I got in the Chevy and hummed down the road to my flat in dreadful shape.

I kept letting out little sobs of anguish and felt the wrenching feeling of disappointment and misfortune in every molecule inside me. Disgusting sensation, really.

When I slammed the door to my dwelling I realize how much crying can take out of you. It was all Charlie's fault. I was perfectly happy with my crappy life when he wasn't a part of it. He shook me from my dream tree!

It was then I decided to do what every self-respecting woman should do in these kinds of situations. Move on. I strode into the bathroom and recoiled in revulsion at my reflection. I realized how much crying could ruin one's makeup. There were hideous black streaks down my down face and my hair was all out of sorts. I was a mess.

Joy. Good to know I look as good as I feel.

After semi-cleaning myself up and putting on more comfortable clothes, my phone blared to life. It was then that I found how quiet my flat had been as I jumped out of my skin.

" 'llo?" I moped into the receiver, hoping it was Lucy and she would ask what was wrong and then I could spill the beans about the entire affair.

"DEAR?" I yanked my ear away from the phone after the violent verbal assault. It wasn't Lucy… in fact, it almost sounded like – "IT'S MOLLY, DEAR. MOLLY WEASLEY! CAN YOU HEAR ME ALL RIGHT?" –I could hear Arthur coaching her from the sidelines somewhere in the background on how to use… did he say feleyphone? "HELLO? –Arthur, it's not working –"

"Er, yes. Yes! Molly, I can hear you perfectly." I said in surprise. I didn't even know they had a phone.

"EXCELLENT! I MUST HAVE JUST MISSED YOU WHEN WE WERE SAYING 'GOODBYE' TO THE GUESTS, BUT I WANTED TO ASK YOU TO COME FOR BREAKFAST ON WEDNESDAY?" My mind was running a blank. I wasn't sure what to say or how to respond. "PLEASE, DO COME, YESHIA DARLING." I could just picture her kind features in a puppy pout and I knew I didn't have a choice in the matter.

"I suppose I could manage," I said casually. After all, Charlie was bound to be gone by then; I mean, he did have a job didn't he?

"WONDERFUL. THAT'S SETTLED THEN. IT'S THE LAST DAY WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY BEFORE… BUSSINESS TAKES OVER." I stared blankly ahead of me for a moment. "SEE YOU THEN!"

Shit.

I only barely registered the voices on the other end of the line from the phone that was still in my hands. "Arthur, I'm done now. How do I switch it off?" –moment of brief silence– "Arthur!"

"Right. Sorry, dear."

-click-

I don't remember how many glasses of wine I downed in the next ten minutes and I can sort of recall my hand dialing for the local pizza parlor.

Stan the Pizza Man, come and get me.

0000000

**There. Happy? I dished out more of the story you've been craving. I have to thank my wondrous new beta: Harry Lvr, who has been nice enough to sort through my horrid spelling and grammar. You should thank her as well or you'd be reading a stack of gibberish at the moment.**

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to SpikesDreamer who, as well as being a terrific author, happens to have a birthday coming up and I thought she'd like to know that she's appreciated. She's the heart and soul of her marvelous Harry Potter fansite, ****http/finkpishnets. proboards92. com /index. cgi which I encourage everyone to check out. :)**

**Well. Here we are, at the end of yet another chapter. I fear that my fic is drawing to an end… I believe there are only a few more chapters left until the untimely end of this fictional wonder. ;) I hope I see all 46 (Yes, I know there are 46 of you.) who have this story on alert to review. Partly because I know you love me and also I really want to know how many people read this fic.**

**It would really mean a lot to me if you reviewed. I wish to know exactly how many people I make wait before updating again :D**

**Peace and Love,**

**Paranoid Sarcasm.**


	22. The Wake Up Call

_**Disclaimer- I disclaim.**_

AN: Hello, hello all my faithful readers. I'm going to be unreasonably nice and post the updated chapter even if you all didn't review. I'm okay with that and I'm willing to forgive and forget. XD.

**I'm messing with you guys. I just thought I'd let you know there is only one or (at the most) two chapters left. I was just wondering if you thought it's a good idea to make a sequel or not. (I will only be doing so if I receive twenty pro-sequel reviews. ;) lol)**

And thank you, thank you to my wonderful Beta, Tash.

---To Babysit Charlie---

The Wake Up Call

0000000

Oh my God.

This was the first thought that I could clearly comprehend as I heard a firm knock at my flat door. Urg. Exactly how much did I drink last night? With blurry eyes I glanced over my mass of covers and sheets at the brown curly mop that was popping out which was owned by the only Stan Barou. I groaned. So _that's_ how much I drank. Just as I was about give myself a mental lecture I heard the knocking once again.

"Coming," I croaked before mustering up enough energy to actually hobble out of bed and clothe myself. I absently threw on my knickers and Stan's uniformed pizza shirt from the floor. Thank God the shirt reached to at least the middle of my thighs.

I scuttled out of my bedroom and briefly wondered if I could manage a quick glass of water and pop an Advil, but my feet seemed to have other plans as they lead me directly to the door. I carelessly took a fleeting glimpse at the deserted pizza box in the middle of the floor. I answered the door with a face that clearly stated how miffed I was to be woken when I found, to my shock and amazement that a slightly agitated Charlie was waiting at the other side of that piece of wood.

For a split second I considered slamming the door, climbing out my window then running and hiding out somewhere in the rustic countryside, where it would be very secluded and no one could find me. But no, that would be a bit dramatic for a woman my age to do, even if I'm a tad childish at times.

Worst. Day. Ever.

His face lit up when he saw me, and he hurried into an explanation without taking in the fact that I was in a pizza man's shirt and blatantly hung over. My mind momentarily ran over the fact that I must look like shit.

"Yesh, I know I was stupid yesterday and – well – I'm sorry I was such a prat. Kain told me everything." I bristled a bit here. Didn't Kain and I have this unspoken rule where we don't go around and spill the beans on this top-secret mission? "I wanted to let you know that I was doing the same thing with Salome. She's a friend, nothing more. I asked her to go with me so I wouldn't look _completely_ pathetic going by myself. It's just–"

He stopped abruptly while I gaped like a fish out of water at his confession. I realized why a second later; there was shuffling sounds coming from behind me not to mention that they were followed by a mammoth yawn.

Finally, Charlie seemed to put things together as he gave me a once over and then stared steadily over my head where I knew Stan had come into view. Panic!

"Shit," Charlie and I said in unison for different reasons and yet the same.

"I see you're not alone," he started, his blue eyes wide with embarrassment and humiliation, "I'm plainly an idiot." He looked sort of dazed as he took a stuttered step back.

"No! No, no, no, no, no. No!" I stammered, waving my hands in alarm, "It's not what you think, Stan doesn't really mean anything!" I hissed, vaguely aware that I sound like a cheap tart.

His features seemed to darken – close off, if you will. He became rather cold and faintly bitter. Apparently, it sounded bad to him too. "I'll leave."

"Don't!"

But I was pleading still clad in half of a pizza man's uniform. That's when Stan decided it was the right time to waltz up to the door. I visibly cringed as he did so and Charlie's expression dimmed even more, if possible.

" 'Bye," Charlie said shortly before turning heel and walking away. There goes my redhead.

I felt the need to scream in exasperation. This, honestly, couldn't get any worse; Charlie was skulking off and I was staring after him half-naked.

Bugger.

Stan let an outrageously loud burp from just behind me. Right – I'd almost forgotten about him. I slammed the door so hard I thought for sure I'd break it off (or at least get some complaints from neighbors) then I viciously ripped off his shirt and threw it at him.

"Alright." He gave me the most born-to-be-a-porn-star grin ever conceived and clapped his hands together before continuing. "Ready for round two."

"Out!" I barked as I thanked whoever is above that he handled putting on boxers before exiting the bedroom.

He rolled his caramel-tinted eyes before scuffing, "Yeah. Okay, babe."

My jaw went rigid as I battled against myself on whether or not to take my self-loathing out on him. "_Out_," I said dangerously and felt my eye twitch. He gave me a look that I couldn't quite decipher before hunting for the rest of his clothes as I flung on my own. I ended up meeting him with an open door in tan cords and a fitted white shirt that Kain had given me a couple years ago.

I caught some of his mutterings, like 'bloody slut', as I literally pushed him out the door. "Pretty much," I bit out at him before I closed the door, and then frowned when I realized I'd insulted myself.

After forty-five minutes of keeping myself hydrated and Advil-ated, I heard another knock at my door. I knew it was Kain, and after beckoning him in with "It's open," I gave him a specialty withering look.

"Wow," he stated with sarcasm. "Is it sad that you actually get used to the smell of cat piss?" He, too, must have been hung over; Kain's usually a morning person. "This deserves a celebration. I doubt you've ever been up when I come and call on you."

I ignored his smell-jab and glared at him before passing him a glass of water and my Advil bottle. "That would be because Charlie gave me the wake up call this morning," I stated coolly, and immediately he looked guilty. "Yeah, 'um'. So you thought it would be best if you told him everything, did you?"

"See it from my perspective – he got me incredibly drunk and bribed me with a gorgeous pair of identical twins! How could I stay strong?"

"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain." I drew out his name for so long that I ran out of breath.

"What's the big deal anyway? He seemed interested AND – you'll never guess, this is so good – that bird he brought as a date was just a friend, not his girlfriend! Fantastic, right?" He was so excited and I felt my stomach drop with my own idiocy.

"That's the big deal." My voice was heavy with regret as I pointed to the pizza on the floor.

His face fell as he stared at the greasy box. "Stan again? Oh, Yesh." He gave me a sympathetic look.

"I know you were being all 'good doer-ish' but you do know what happened, yeah? Charlie saw Stan wandering around in merely his shorts when I answered the door."

"Charlie was in his shorts?"

"Stan! Stan was in his shorts." I sent him another shriveling glance that said 'get with it'.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, Yesh. It's tragic, really. The red hair?" He let out a dreamy sigh. "It's what fantasies are made of."

Urg. I know. How, I know.

We took our time getting to work. Although, this time, we didn't stop for muffins or coffee, we just leisurely made our way to the office. Somewhere between passing the coffee shop and Victor's Vendors, I recalled mine and Kain's deal – the one about me helping him out with the cute cashier by putting in a good word for him in exchange for Kain being my date for the wedding.

Randomly, I stated in mid-walk: "Don't screw around with the twins, Kain."

"Hmm? What would it matter if I did?"

"Listen, just because I haven't seen them in twelve years doesn't mean they're not the kids I used to babysit. So, you know, I don't want to see them get hurt. Plus, how much older are you again?"

He chuckled and waved his hand dismissively, but I could tell I'd touched a nerve. "I wouldn't hurt them. They're dashing, yes, but like you said, I'm too old, I expect."

I felt a pang of guilt, but we continued on our way and were both reasonably surprised by what met us in the office. We heard mournful singing from the back room and we both knew who it was – Victor.

"Salena on the brain once again," Kain pointed out sadly.

Salena had been Victor's fiancée who had gotten cold feet three days before the big day and ran for it. Victor never got to say goodbye and never got over it. It's been amazing to see the progress that he's made over the years that I've known him, even if the whole affair happened way before I was in the equation, but every so often he gets in a funk like this.

I swear, he does it to torture himself – he plays the song 'Cecilia' by Simon and Garfunkel exceedingly loud and changes the name from 'Cecilia' to 'Salena'. I let out a little sob of empathy for the man that has been the closest thing to a father that I've ever had. I felt a bubble of emotion rise in me, my chest got tight.

"If you cry –" Kain's threat was cut off by Victor's bellowing.

"…Ohhhhh _SALENA_ you're breaking my heart…"

I started to whimper as Kain and I began to walk up to the backroom door. I made him open it and we found Victor full of sorrow, staring with empty eyes at the old record player. I rushed up to my Godfather and gave him a furious hug. Kain joined us and we may have been a tad pathetic swaying back and forward melodramatically to Simon and Garfunkel but, damn it, we were more of a family then some of the blood-related kin out there.


	23. The End

Disclaimer- I disclaim.

---To Babysit Charlie---  
The End

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

It may be boring, but that has been my mantra for the last three days. I couldn't stop thinking about the breakfast that is soon to come. In fact, I didn't trust myself enough to stay in my own domain – one never knows what a delirious woman will do… I ended up staying at Tanner's and Lucy's before the big day and annoyed them to bits.

I called in to work to let Kain and Vicky know that I wouldn't show, and thankfully they understood. I was dressed in Lucy's pre-pregnancy best, a stupid off-white dress that reached just above my knee. Lucy said it would take Charlie's mind right off the incident, and Tanner laughed and called me 'over-eager'. Only after Lucy cuffed the back off his head did he apologize and say that Charlie would be crazy (or gay) if I didn't turn his head.

I nervously let out a breath as I smoothed my dress, (Lucy's dress), for the millionth time.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

"No worries, Yesh. He'd be insane to ignore you." Lucy said as we sat on their couches in my old living room - it's still weird for me to be here.

"So you say…"

Tanner shook his head, "Come on. Just have some confidence. It's the Weasleys, you know the Weasleys. In fact you saw a good portion of them in the nappies." He offered a smile and I gave one back.

I covered my face with a hand and sighed, "I've got to be there in seventeen minutes. Oh God…"

…Oh God. Oh God.

That's it. I'm not doing it. I'm not playing this sick, sadistic game. I can't handle it. I'll die! I have cows bucking wildly around in my stomach that feel it's their civic duty to pound roughly on my spleen – wherever the hell that is.

"Nothing bad is going to happen. Relax. He'll forgive and forget. It's Charlie, for Merlin's sake! Take a few deep breaths: in and out, in and out." Lucy chided, doing examples of her Lamaze breathing as she motioned to get up. "Tell you what, walking over to the Borrow will do you good." She patted her husband's leg, "Tanner will take you."

"Nope. I'm good." I stood and brushed myself off, flattened my hair, and checked for wrinkles. "I'm a big girl and sometimes I have to learn to do things on my own." I flashed them a nervous grin and felt my insides do a triple back flip.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

"You sure? Yesh, it's no trouble… a strapping, young lad like myself can take the abuse," Tanner reassured me as he made eye contact, hazel orbs to hazel orbs, and I knew that the walk would be one of those 'father daughter' chats that he loves to give. It creeps me out to think that he may be only doing this for practice these days. Even though I was close to tears of anxiety, I muffled my own laughter and nodded.

"You're going to win him over," Lucy said with an enthusiastic miniature air punch and I knew what she wanted to hear.

"Bloody Well Right." I smiled weakly.

--

Gulping, I stepped out of the back door and made my way toward The Burrow. I tried to rein my emotions as I looked up and found the blue sky had a few fluffy, white blemishes.

…Decapitated Bunny Day…

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

I won't cry. I'm being incredibly stupid. Just do what Lucy said: deep breaths. Nice, long, deep breaths. It's nothing really, I'm overreacting. I'm going to an old family friend's house. No problem, it's not like I wish desperately that I could turn back time and have another chance with their son… not at all. Merlin, my throat is getting awfully tight again.

It's okay. I'm fine. BREEEEEATHE, Yeshia. Breathe. Not that far now, only a few more minutes and I'll be able to see the details in the homey abode. I can already smell the garden gnomes and that's a sure sign that I'm more than close. My chest is trapped in an iron vice and I'm beginning to hyperventilate. Nope. This was not a good idea. I'm getting light headed from the lack of oxygen getting to my brain. Why am I here again? To suffer more humiliation?

I'm a right fool.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

This isn't a big deal. It means nothing that I'm standing at the door preparing to either knock or run for my life in the opposite direction. Ok, ok. On the count of three I will knock on the door and wait until Molly answers.

One.

Two.

"Yeshia Olga Colgan! Don't just stand out here all day, come inside." Molly swung open the door as I raised my hand to rap, only to reveal a swarm of redheads all making their way to the table. My chance to escape was flying out the window like rabid bird on speed.

…Three. "Right. Of course," I laughed nervously before stepping inside.

"The wards went off when you were about fifty yards off and I assumed it wouldn't take much longer for you to get here," she explained as we made our way to the table where the rest of the Weasley family was sitting – save for Bill and Arthur, whom I'm guessing were away for their honeymoon and work, respectively. Although there were two others who filled their spots; they were the kids who were hanging about with Ginny and Ron at the wedding. A boy and a girl, to be precise.

"Wards?" I asked, blinking in confusion.

"Well, you know, with the war on the rise and Harry-" I'm presuming this was the boy at the table. I know, I'm _clever_. "-staying here for a couple of days until we can get him back to his aunt and uncle's."

"War?"

Nine faces turned to look at me full on; as though it were some sort of sin not to know whatever the hell this wizard-y war was about. Molly's eyebrows rose as she stared at me. "You mean you don't know?" She sounded breathless and awed.

"No. I have no idea." I started using my arms to explain the fact that my mind was drawing a blank. "I gave up magic when I moved to Bulgaria. I live as a muggle now."

They all looked at one another and then back at me. I strangely felt like an exhibit at the zoo. "Oh. Well, then. It's – er – a rather long story. I'll tell you about it later on, dear. Don't worry about it just yet." That was all Molly said before she muttered something about the bacon burning and went into the kitchen. I figured I wouldn't be much help to this war of the magically enhanced so I just skipped it out of my mind until Molly was able to tell me what was going on.

Damn. I was hoping she could distract me a little longer from Charlie but now, with her gone, I'm going to have to talk to someone else – unless I become a mime. Another nervous laugh bubbled up through me; "So, how is everyone?"

The girl with more hair body then I ever knew was possible perked up. "You really lived in Bulgaria? Do you know a Victor Krum? He plays Quidditch, you know."

"Er. No, no I don't." I said, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, "But, wow. Quidditch… there is something I would love to play again. I used to be a Beater for Gryffindor," I explained as George motioned toward one of the only seats left, and just because someone up there hates me, sitting on the other side was Charlie in all his foxy glory. (Note to self: never even think of the word 'foxy' again.)

"Really, Mishy? We used to be Beaters for Gryffindor too!" Fred answered for both George and himself. "What a game, eh?"

"Yeah I know!" I said with a bit too much gusto and a wild grin. I've longed for so long to talk about Quidditch with someone that I'm almost completely blinded to that fact that Charlie is scuffing at me. _Almost_. "So Fred, how's Roberta doing?"

"Oh," Fred turned a lovely shade of red as the blush bled from his ears and onto his cheeks, "quite well, actually. I, erm, might be taking it to the next level… I'm going to tell her I'm a wizard, I think."

I nodded politely and was about inquire more but instead… "What?" I barked after the third 'Pffffft' from Charlie who was rudely interrupting a revoltingly lovesick Fred. I was getting a bit ticked by then, seeing as he's being about as mature as I usually am…

His blue eyes were harsh and critical as they trained on me. I was beginning to become unbelievably flustered under his scrutiny but thankfully he broke the silence that was practically ringing. "It's just, I'm not used to the table being this _dirty_."

Ouch.

I heard Ginny huff as Fred and George exchanged low whistles. My breath hitched and my throat was turning into hell. I'm going to cry. Crap. I can't possibly let him see, I can't let any of them see. I quickly stood from my chair and head straight for the stairs, feeling increasingly thick for my efforts to make this meal into something to redeem myself. Lucy's dress was feeling more ridiculous by the minute and all I wanted was my nice, cozy sweats.

As I climbed the first three steps I heard Ron's voice ask, "Where're you going?"

"Obviously I'm too smutty for your table - I'm going to go wash up." I felt my anger rise up and mingle with my misery.

"It's going to take a while to get the pizza stains out of your dress…" Charlie said, just loud enough for me to hear. My hand immediately shot to my mouth as hot tears slipped down my cheeks. Bastard!

"Not that it matters, but Stan happens to be a friend-"

"With benefits?" he finished, and with that I stomped up the rest of the steps and practically ran into the bathroom. What an arse! I can't believe him! What gives him the gall to say something like that? It's completely uncalled for. I _hate_ him. I HATE him!

I locked the door and sat on the loo as I placed my head in my hands. I can't even fathom why I came. This was the most moronic idea I've ever had. I hate him and I hate Lucy for saying nothing bad was going to happen and I hate Tanner for encouraging me to go and I hate Kain for supporting my decision and I hate Victor just for being alive at that moment in time. I hate everyone.

_Oh God. Oh God. Oh God._

I felt the sob I've been waiting for creep up on me and sink in all over my body, even as it protested with shudders. I detest the fact that no matter how hard I try to stay calm, it's always that much harder to stop crying. I don't even bother to acknowledge the knocking on the door. What's the use anyway, I'm useless. This time the person knocks harder and I couldn't care less. Break down the door; it's not my house!

But I suddenly wish I hadn't just thought that because the door clicked open to allow someone in. 'I take it back!' I mentally screamed as the person stepped into the light of the bathroom and revealed himself as Charlie, and he stashed his wand away. I _hate_ unlocking charms. I hate wands. I hate magic. I hate it all.

"Go away." I swatted in his general direction and returned to looking at the floor between my hands. I wasn't in the mood to fight for anything anymore. I hope he's happy because he has broken me. He can now brag about the time he called some girl a slag in front of his family and then how she cried all day long. It would make a great story to tell at parties wherever Molly said he lived now. Romania or something, I don't know.

He sighed and walked toward me and I turned to make access harder. But he kept coming closer until he was crouching right in front of me. "That wasn't fair. I'm sorry, Yesh. Really sorry. I take it back."

"Charlie," I said, trying to sound unruffled by the matter, but my wavering voice gave me away. "You can't simply take back what you said. It doesn't work that way."

"But I'm sorry. I – I'm dumb. Is that what you want to hear?" He stammered as he attempted to make eye contact.

"You're getting closer but, please, don't stop on my account," I heaved, as I chanced a glance at him. He looked genuine and I also noticed that he was giving me his puppy eyes. I hate those bloody, blue, adorable puppy spheres.

"I'm insensitive, buggered, twisted, stupid, dense, brainless, dim-witting and utterly pathetic. Merlin, Yesh. I don't know what to say… I wasn't thinking." He was pleading and it truly did look pathetic as his hair fell into his eyes.

Abruptly things seemed funny. I don't even know why but I started to laugh right in his face. Sure my mascara was probably running and my hair was most likely a mess and Charlie called me a tart in front of the people I grew up with, but it was now funny. It just was. I can't explain it; it was just hilarious.

At first Charlie looked slightly offended that I was laughing at his apology but he soon cracked a slow, shy smile. "Don't even think about it. You are not allowed to be happy. You're so tactless. Sod off, you stupid, stupid dolt!"

He stopped smiling and bowed his head for a moment, and then he seemed to think better of it when his head snapped up and I swear I saw an irate flash on his features. "At least I don't go sleeping with the first person that I open my door to."

"What!" I gaped. Did he not just apologize? What the hell… man PMS or what? "You don't know anything!" I retorted as I jumped up, and he did the same. I was about to walk out but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"I can't even take into account why you would do that! It's not cool, Yeshia."

"Thanks for the benefit announcement Charlie! SHIT OFF! What is the matter with you, eh? You think you can just run in here and stir up crap that has nothing to do with you? Is that it?" I took a step closer and jabbed him in the chest like I had done at the wedding and I hoped it hurt – even if it was just a jab.

"First off, I only came to your flat because of what Kain said to me." He grabbed my hand to stop the constant assault of prods.

"Kain knows nothing, Charlie. Did you ever think it might be wise to ask me? Oh, wait. That would be implying that you think!" I pushed him with my other hand, which made him hit the counter, and consequently bashed me into him as he pulled our hands toward himself.

He was fuming and I hate to admit it but he looks good when he's mad… really good. His furious expression didn't change as he swiftly bent down and kissed me hard.

**OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD.**

Best. Day. Ever.

My heart was going a million miles per second and I was still totally baffled. However, my body apparently has a natural reaction to a livid snog, because I was giving everything I had and I was on Auto Pilot. Although, at the same time, I was wholly aware of the excitement that rippled through me at our contact.

Once we broke apart, we were both breathing those deep breaths Lucy raves about and all I could say was, "Oh my God."

"Oh my God," he agreed as he gently brushed his lips against mine once more. Apparently, to calm a Weasley down, all one needs to do is play tonsil hockey with said Weasley.

"Oh my God!" a voice yelped from the doorway, and both Charlie and I broke apart instantly. It was the bushy-haired girl who had been sitting beside Ginny. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" She ignited in crimson and rushed out of sight.

"I'm not," I said without thought. Did I say he was tactless? Well, I meant me. But he grinned at me and enveloped me in his arms. I found that his grin was contagious as I started to giggle uncontrollably.

"I see we turned back time…" Molly said and once again we let go and stood a little way away from each other. Her warm face held a mysterious knowing look that made me envy her wisdom.

Without a word Charlie took a step toward me and interlaced our fingers. I had a hard time restraining my delight and, as I noticed, so did he. Molly look absolutely tickled pink about something and left with a smile playing on her lips. But I didn't care what it was that made her in such a good mood. All I could think of was the fact that Charlie's thumb was making small circles on the back of my hand and each one sent a fresh shiver up my spine.

0000000000

AN: Thank you for reading! This was the last chapter… although; if you ask nicely I may do an epilogue. (And depending if my Beta is up for it.)

And with that, I'm starting a slow clap as we speak for my wonderful beta, Natasha. You have been more then great. You have sorted through my massacred English. Thank you Seriously, you rock my socks. I couldn't have done it without you.

Peace and Love

Paranoid Sarcasm


End file.
